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[NEED REVIEW] "I find Data Science fascinating" - Statement of Purpose for Master of Data Science


Kavan14 1 / -  
Dec 3, 2021   #1

The Fascinating World of Data Science



I am a person who overthinks and overanalyzes every situation around me to find a logical reason of why something that happened, happened. I think this is the reason why subconsciously, I find Data Science fascinating. The idea of taking raw data and creating a story out of it to reach a decision is engrossing for me. This is why I choose to pursue my master's degree in Data Science, and I believe the Master of Data Science program from University of XXX will help me to grasp all the concepts and techniques required to excel in this field.

Ever since childhood I have been fond of numbers and puzzles. This is the reason why I chose to pursue my undergraduate degree in engineering in the field of Information Technology from XXX University. I also received a scholarship from the University for all 4 years of my course. During the course of my degree, I took various courses in programming, algorithms, advanced mathematics and statistics, database, machine learning and data science. The introductory courses in data science and machine learning inspired me to further deepen my knowledge in these topics. Hence, I enrolled in a few certificate courses from Coursera like Data Science Professional Certificate, SQL, and Data Science Math Skills. Through dedication and hard work, and support from professors to answer plenty of my curious questions, I managed to graduate in top 10% of my class.

As a part of the course, I was required to complete two summer internships after 4th and 6th semesters. The first internship I did was as an Android Developer in which I made an Enterprise Resource Planning Application. I presented this project in a project exhibition conducted by my college during the 5th semester. The second internship that I did was under one of my professors as Machine Learning Researcher. I created a classifier to predict if a person will have coronary heart disease in the next ten years.

During the 8th semester we were required to prepare a major project in a professional environment. Hence, I joined XXX as an Artificial Intelligence Developer. I created two chatbots using python. The first chatbot was an e-commerce chatbot to sell products of an e-commerce store. The second one was a helpdesk chatbot to generate leads from the company's website. The chatbots were created in python using rasa framework. To store data, I used AWS Relational Database Service. Finally, the chatbots were deployed on Heroku in a docker environment. One thing to be proud of during this internship was that the rasa framework required a minimum of 2GB of RAM for deployment. However, I managed to deploy the chatbot in two 512MB of RAM servers using docker.

After the internship, I decided to continue with XXX as a full-time PowerApps Developer. I now am working in this role since June 2021. Since I was not familiar with the tool, I had to go in training for first two weeks. After the training, I was fairly confident in my ability to create apps using PowerApps. For my first project, which was meant to give me exposure in creating real world solutions using PowerApps, I ended up coding most of the logical part (backend) of the application. Now, after 5 months of joining, I am giving training to two new employees while simultaneously working on projects as well.

Apart from education, I have done lots of volunteering and also coordinated events during my school and undergraduate degree. I was the Cultural Secretary during 11th grade. My role was to manage all the events that take place during the year. In my university, we have a technical festival each year called XXX. I coordinated one event each, during 2nd and 3rd year of my course. I also am a sport enthusiast and a competitive sportsperson. During the 1st year of my course, I represented and coordinated a team of Table Tennis for my college during our annual sports meet.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Dec 4, 2021   #2
What a lovely personal statement. Too bad it failed to contain any actual reference to the purpose for your study beyond what you think you can learn from the course. This is definitely not usable as a statement of purpose so I would not bother with trying to revise this presentation anymore. You should instead, focus on creating a true statement of purpose that:

- Opens by implying your dreams for your future. Imagining a future world or your contribution in it.
- Discussing your undergraduate background as it lends itself to your interest in the masters course (awards and accomplishments included)
- Explaining your current career path and your achievements that you believe can benefit from higher academic study* (academic purpose) (* any publications included)
- Expanding on your long term career goals that require these additional studies (career purpose)
- What you hope to contribute to the field after the masters course (personal purpose with possible thesis topic, if needed)
- The reason you believe this university program suits your abilities and ambitions
- Why you believe an overseas masters education is best for you.

Follow the outline I provided here and you should be able to come up with a more applicable statement of purpose.


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