my essay about the role of universities

Q: some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace.Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake,regardless of a whether the course is useful to an employer.

What in your opinion , should be the main function of a university?

Each university has strategies for own teaching. Some people prefer to get a huge of learning with skills that they need on the job from university .While others argue that the main role of university is provide the student the knowledge whether is helpful for student after graduate. I think that the both views are beneficial.

Some people discuss that the university should give the student skills with knowledge. One reason is for sure that gives the graduate more chance to acquire a good job .second, is when the graduate collect between the knowledge and the expertness, they will became a successful employee.

However, if the graduate has only a huge rate of learning without skills could not find a job that he want at a big company, because they do not need to a new graduate who doesn't have skills or experience .

On other hand, others think that the skills don't important, and the main role of the university is supply the knowledge. First of all , they want the student get a large of information ,because after graduate he can improve his skills by his self ,but may be cannot get an important learning.

In my opinion, I believe that the university should tend to provide the information with skills and experience for their students .Because all of these are primary for any students whether they want have a job or not

Each university has strategies forits own teaching
Some people prefer to learn only skills that they need on the job from university
However, others prefer to learn the knowledge whether it is helpful for student after graduate.
I think that the both views are beneficial.==> this sentence is vague and not strong.
However, if the graduate...he or she
big company...they?
Hi, this is some of the mistakes that I have looked at your essay(there are many more). Honestly, you have a lot revision to work with this essay. At the graduate level, I think they expect a lot more than this. You did not provide enough details to support your point. Even your conclusion is very vague and the ending sentence do not summary the ideas well.

Good luck,

hi
thank you , I have been studying English for 6 months, sorry I know my writing is not good,but I want to improve my Language.

thanks again, really I found your correction so helpful

This topic looks very much like TOEFL writing topics. If that is so (or if it is from other exam such as IELTS), it would help a lot if you reworked your short sentences into longer ones and rearranged paragraphs.

Other than that...