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ESSAY - Why Smith? Why a masters degree? Why now?


Lelezhou 1 / 1  
Dec 22, 2018   #1
Hi everyone, this is the required essay for University of Maryland. I would really appreciate any feedback and help.

Why Smith? Why a masters degree? Why now?


Be sure to include your short-term and long-term career goals.(300 word maximum)

In the short term, I plan to work as a marketing analyst and secure a position in a multinational company like Unilever, I am drawn to this career because I am keen to create the optimal market plans for the company by providing data analysis and technical knowledge of the market. In the long-term, I will continue to pursue an MBA degree and a path of entrepreneurship after five years hard working. My ultimate ambition is to join hands with those sharing the same aspiration to start a private company focus on providing affordable market analytics product to promote small firm effective management.

Three years study in accounting and finance at the ABC University has provided me a solid foundation knowledge in mathematics, statistics and business that are essential for advanced studies in market analytics. In addition to my academic experiences, I am diligently trained as an intern at XXX in summer 2018, where I developed strong data analytical skills through budget variance analysis and advanced problem-solving skills through invoice reconciliation. The courses and internship had given me a comprehensive picture of the industry, but I have to say what I have learned as an undergraduate is far from enough to realize my ultimate goals, so I decide to pursue advanced knowledge in a MSMA program.

I chose the Smith School for several reasons. First, I tend to succeed more in a small classroom set up such as the one that Smith offers. Second, the design of the courses will allow me to implement the theories in real world working set ups through application courses and action learning projects. Finally, I believe the extensive career services, such as alumni career panel discussions and networking opportunities, will provide me with a symbiotic working relationship in the future.

I have 298 words right now. Does it answer the question? It would be a great help if somebody could comment on my essay.
Sasakfld 2 / 4 1  
Dec 22, 2018   #2
Hi!
1. I am diligently ...--am should be was
2. in a MSMA ...--a should be an
3. I tend to succeed more in ...--why you tend to succeed more in a small classroom setting and what can you gain from the small setting?

4. "the design of the courses" in the last paragraph is not specific enough. I think it might be better for you to elaborate on it.

Btw, r u Asian? Nice to meet you
OP Lelezhou 1 / 1  
Dec 22, 2018   #3
Hi, thank you for correcting my grammar mistakes. Because I already have 298 words, I can't add more words in the last paragraph, do you think should I delete anything from the first two paragraphs? Thanks again!


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