Explain your purpose for graduate study, including your current degree goals and reasons for selecting a particular field of study.
If you could let me know of any gramatical errors and I'll take any suggestions on how to make this better. Does this seem to answer the essay question and is it interesting.
Art is a visual language. My first design teacher, Peter Smith, often made this statement to our class. Those are the words that occur to me every time I begin a new project. What will this piece say? What emotions will this silent voice invoke? Peter's statement changed the way I approach creating and understanding art. It was because of teachers like him, I was motivated to continue an education in art and go on to work in the field of design and digital photography.
My first introduction to art was in my high school ceramics class. It was the first time I was encouraged to express my own views in class. Mr. Lovett taught our class to take all our built up emotions and give it over to what we were creating. To be in a classroom environment where there was no wrong answer, but an infinite variation of the right answer, was eye opening. In that class I discovered I wanted to be an artist.
In college, I traded the idea of becoming a "starving artist" for a more practical career in medicine. This decision led me to severely struggle my first few years of college. I could not replicate the same feeling of enjoyment in my pre med studies as I could when creating art. As a result, I switched my focus from Pre Med to Art.
In the art department, I encountered inspiring teachers such as, Peter Smith and Onlyie Onlyie. These teachers had a fire inside of them kindled by their passion for art. Their teaching style motivated me to want to learn more. Through their guidance I began to see the philosophies of art in everything around me. Using art as a connecting factor, I began to understand and enjoy all my studies. My art teacher's ability to captivate my mind through ideas of art, greatly aided me in graduating college and finding a career I truly enjoy.
I often reflect back to those teachers and the advice they gave me. Ideas such as: "Less is more" and Art is a visual language" has guided me through many projects. It is because of what these teachers have bestowed upon me; I have decided to teach. I want to give others the opportunity to understand the world through art's eyes. I want to put the same fire to learn into my future student as my teachers put into me, making them a more successful student. Possibly leading them to find their own voice, and discover a career that can bring them fulfillment.
I believe that I am at a point in my life where I have the maturity and creative skills to teach. I am just lacking the education to do this. University of Florida's Master's of Art in Art Education program is ideal for me, because it will give me the needed skills to teach, while allowing me time to continue working and strengthening my skills as a graphic designer and digital photographer.
Hi, Monica.
This seems to be your first thread here, so I want to welcome you. I have provided some comments on your essay:
Their teaching styles...
In the Art department
These teachers had a fire inside of them kindled by their passion for art. - I like your writing style
the philosophy of art...
Ideas such as: "Less is more" and "Art is a visual language" have guided me through many projects.
my future students...making them a more successful students
Possibly, leading them to find their own voice, and discover a career that can bring them fulfillment(fulfillment of what?). - the sentence cannot be written like this as it is lacking for a subject. Probably, you should adjoin it to the previous sentence using comma.
I believe that I am at a point in my life where I have the maturity and creative skills to teach. - I believe as well, because you could persuade me as a reader, but I think your conclusion is unfinished. It seems you need to add a sentence to create an impression of completeness.
Thanks for your help. It really helps to have someone look it over
What emotions will this silent voice invoke?--- nice sentence!!
Usually I tell writers to omit names (i.e. Peter Smith) because they are not usually important for the meaning of the essay but the way you used his name has a nice effect. It celebrates the importance of the concept and of his teaching.
It was because of teachers like him that I was motivated to continue... --- now right here, as you end the first paragraph, the theme is established in the reader's mind. Is this the sentence you want to give them as the thesis, the main theme?
Yes, I read the rest of the essay, and I see that it is a good thesis.
So, let this topic sentence support the thesis:
My first introduction to art was in The first such teacher was Mr. Lovett, my high school ceramics teacher. He was the first person to introduce me to real "art"...
:-)
Monica, I see know that you used the word "fulfillment" as a synonym to satisfaction. Then, you used it correctly.
It was like a wet-on-wet painting.You worked your way across the essay one paint stroke at a time. Its a good thing.
I do agree with Kevin that the time you introduce us to a teacher of yours - Peter Smith, the effect is brilliant.But as I encounter "Peter Smith and Onlyie Onlyie"again, the "brilliance"of the first time is significantly reduced.In your own words "Less is more".
In that class I discovered I wanted to be an artist.This is too Pedestrian.I dont see any passion
here.
Best of luck with your future.
Thanks guys!! I will take your comments and use them in my next draft. You help is Much appreciated.
