SOP for electrical engineering (communications)

pls help review this SOP. i havent done a proper introduction yet. i plan to do it in the end. if someone cold give e some recommendations i would be really greatful.

As a teenager, helping my father fix an old Philips walkman sparked in me, curiosity about circuits and devices. This was nurtured into deep interest during high school, where I discovered a natural affinity for math and physics. Born into a family that has always valued good education, I graduated from high school with distinction. On account of my deep interest in electronics, I applied to the Electronics Engineering program at Multimedia University in Malaysia. My passion for my chosen field of study and dedication in my coursework helped me excel academically. I was presented with the Dean's Award for Academic Excellence seven times during my University tenure. I completed my undergraduate studies with a well-written thesis on Quality of Service Analysis of Wireless Broadband.

It has always been my belief that a successful person is not one who has achieved only academic excellence but has other comprehensive qualities - in short to be successful one has to be a well balanced individual. Due my involvement in various student activities I was elected the Treasurer for the International Students Society and the Secretary for the Golden Key International Honour Society (Multimedia University Chapter). During this time I helped plan and organize many noteworthy events such as the Cross Cultural Integration Program and The Golden Key Literacy Event. My experiences in these activities have not only enhanced my creative thinking abilities, but have also helped me learn essential management and communication skills which are a must in today's world as we shall be interacting with many different people and communities in the work force. Major discoveries and projects not only required individual effort but effective communication and concerted collaboration to accomplish their goals.

The rapid development pace of communication technology places a high demand for specialists working in this field and wireless communications will pave the way for future communication technology trends. I wish to receive advanced education in communication technology and become a leading specialist in this field a few years from now. Higher education in Nepal is relatively backward in this regard and thus I am determined to pursue further studies in the United States.

I came to know about the University of XXX's ECE program from an education exposition and was impressed with the curriculum. Having completed my undergraduate program with a solid foundation in Electronics Engineering (with a major in telecommunications),I wish to apply for the Master's program in Electrical and Computer Engineering with Communications as my field of specialization. In my proposed program, I would like to concentrate on Communication Networks and hope to identify Professor yyy as my potential advisor, from whom I can learn a lot about Wireless Communications.

I am convinced that your comprehensive curriculum is sufficient to help me develop into well-trained specialist in communication networks, with cutting-edge expertise. I am confident of my technical and comprehensive abilities and would greatly appreciate the opportunity to be considered for the Master of Science program in your reputed University.