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SOP for Master's in Management, technology and entrepreneurship - background, career strategy, aims

MugdhaG 1 / -  
Apr 2, 2018   #1
Dear All,

I would be highly obliged if I could get insightful comments on my Statement of Purpose, for Master's in Management, technology and entrepreneurship.

These are the requirements: The statement of purpose should not exceed 1000 words. You are required to describe your academic background and your career strategy. Please be precise about the objectives you wish to reach through your studies at this university.

academic background and career strategy

Running is my alone time that lets my brain unspool the tangles that build up over days. Now it has become a habit and every evening I find myself running along the narrow lanes in the city. The focus shifts from the inside to the outside and I begin to validate my surroundings. The mind subconsciously registers the surroundings and after compelling myself to focus on it, I begin to grasp the bigger picture. Though the city which I live in is a medium sized city with ample resources, there are still areas within the city where 'technology' is limited to 'TV sets and low-cost smartphones', 'development' is limited to building another storey on the single storeyed aluminium hut and 'management' is still limited to filling sufficient number of water cans in the morning to suffice throughout the day. The world is not exactly moving in the same pace into the fancy canvas we picturized. From wheels to planes, we invented technologies but it was not sufficient to bridge the gap between layers of humanity.

To introduce myself, I completed my 4-year engineering Bachelor's degree in Electronics and Telecommunication. I chose this major because of its wide, interdisciplinary span and the ever-increasing use of electronics in every branch of modern science. The course introduced me to the basics of several subjects, such as Digital Signal Processing, Integrated Circuit Applications, Computer Networks, Digital Communication and application of theories in practice through laboratory work and team projects. Although electronics ruled in the books, my interest was always towards the field of communication. This brought me in the domain of computer networks where I completed Cisco's global certification to become a Cisco Certified Network Associate. I completed a course in Red Hat Linux to update myself with the trending Linux platform.

After completing my bachelors, I started working at KPIT, Pune, as a network engineer. But looking at my grasp and thirst of learning, I was given an opportunity to handle collaboration domain of networking. Winning prestigious 'Wow award', 'Star of the Quarter award' multiple times, I was able to perform outstanding work in network operations and deployments. Here, I got multiple opportunities of leading 36-40-hour long upgrades which succeeded due to the team effort.

While I was employed at KPIT, my inquisitive mind made me to enroll myself for a distance education postgraduate management diploma (PGDM) with specialization in E-business. The diploma was a rigorous 2-year program with assessments, projects and Corporate Social Responsibility related activities. To apply my newly gained knowledge in the field of management, I decided to shift my domain - from enabling function of company to business development where I could generate revenue for company by creating business opportunities. The Management Diploma was an added advantage for me to undertake the role of Technical Consultant in the same company.

The new domain gave me visibility over the rapidly expanding realm of Digital Technologies. The domain change was smooth for me, because of the perpetually extensive learning opportunities - which kept challenging me. During this time, I was assigned the task of creating e-learning modules to convey the theories of digital technologies to 11,000 employees; which were perceived by the organization as an exceptional learning tool. These technologies include AR-VR, Cognitive technologies, Digital Twins, Conversational systems, Intelligent ERP, Smart Campus, IoT and Industry 4.0. A must-know set of concepts, which were a part of #ThinkDigital initiative of KPIT, provided me huge insight in digital domain. The initiative continued for 5 months where I was selected as a lead in the branding team which was a huge success certifying 10000+ employees under 100 days. Under my current designation, I have been working on creating proposals for selling KPIT's innovative Smart Campus solution.

A myriad of thoughts crosses my mind when I think about technology and the future. Bringing innovations in the world is one thing, but companies that are creating those need to be aware of the disruption being created and the gap being expanded in the social communities. In my opinion, the aim of business leaders is to care about the products they innovate or the services that they provide, balance the economy and take the world to next level, altogether.

Over the period of my bachelor's education and primary career experience and the commercial experience I am gaining now, I look forward to building my career path being a business leader in technical domain. I seek to reach the positions like CDO, CIO building strategies for companies to develop themselves and survive in the future. I also seek of developing my professional skills in bringing the change where technology will not be limited to only the entertainment sector, but will be meant for everyone to evolve and make lives much comfortable. Through this programme, I wish to pursue the vision to climb this ladder and eventually, become an entrepreneur in e-commerce and information technology.

I believe that my thoughts are widespread but effective. Hence, MTEc program at EPFL, which covers all topics from business management to economics - relating the subject to the cusp of technology, will help me drive my potential in the right path and develop the right thought process to venture into business leadership. It's like cooking a dish, pouring right things in the pan at right time. Eventually, everything is going form a single substance but yet right timing matters. Businesses don't run any differently and hence, knowledge on how to run it, matters.

I therefore wish to take admission for this course as EPFL stands out to be top of its class when it comes to MTEc course. Indeed, you have to learn the best to be the best and that's how winners are moulded. Allow me to grab an opportunity to stand out in the crowd.

Thank you very much!
abdo65619 1 / 10 9  
Apr 8, 2018   #2
Your statement of purpose is perfectly developed about your background, however, you have not presented a compelling reasoning when you talked about your career strategy. For example, ".....I wish to pursue the vision to climb (...) " why? and how you are going to proceed the answer of 'why'? answering these question will show the reader your critical thinking abilities, and will give him an impression that you know what you are doing.

You have inclined to write in a showy style rather than the rigorous sophisticated academic one. Obviously, you mentioned many things that does not fulfill the prompt, as in the sixth paragraph; " A myriad of thoughts.....". in the admission essays, especially for graduate studies, it is preferable to focus on your accomplishments, background, and career goals, rather than mentioning your opinions or general information out of prompt domain.

Try to focus more on your goals and how this specific institution will assist you achieving your goal and give clear answers for: (why I want this?, what will I do after achieving it?, and how will I do it?)

In "I believe that my thoughts ..." you committed two mistakes; firstly, you degraded yourself when you said 'my thoughts are widespread', even if so, try not mention that; focus on your strengths, and directly start showing how effective are your thoughts, which obviously you did not do (the second mistake); you just said your thoughts are effective.

You have a lot of experience and many things to impress the admission committee, just give your career goals and aim more space, be confident, and you will get what you pursue.

I would appreciate a feedback from you on my thread.
All the best, .
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,660 1998  
Apr 15, 2018   #3
Mughda, Your academic background is appropriate for your application. However, you spent too much time being so descriptive in the essay that you failed to present your career strategy in the proper context. I tis not enough to enumerate the positions that you aspire to reach after graduation. You need to portray yourself as someone who has familiarized himself with the curriculum to the point where you actually know which courses under the masters program will actually help you achieve a solid career goal. The aim of the latter part of the essay is to get a clear idea of what your career objectives are and how this program can help you achieve that. Unfortunately, you spent too much time using a general rather than specific discussion that could have helped to develop your career strategy presentation. I suggest you cut down on the irrelevant parts such as the first paragraph and the myriad of thoughts crossing your mind. Be more specific in terms of course requirements and career goals. Think of a 5 year career plan. Explain how the career plan will be helped by the education you will receiving here. Specifically, what courses and training programs will help you achieve these career goals need to be presented as part of your career strategy in the essay.

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