Dear Moderators/Members,
Pl. help me in checking my SOP. My dead line is this sunday.
Word limit given to me is 1000 words, and following questions must be answered
Why have you decided to apply for the programme?
What are your expectations from this programme?
What are your career plans after completing this programme?
What type of multicultural exchanges have you had that would inform your academic experience in this programme?
My SOP starts here :
"There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants and a burning desire to possess it."
I am Rohit Kumar Sharma, currently in the final year of MBA - Rural Management in KIIT School of Rural Management, one of leading colleges of Rural Management in India, affiliated to KIIT University, Bhubaneswar. It is known for its excellent faculty and a good research and consultancy base. My current study is focused on development issues, corporate social responsibility, poverty, social research, gender issues and legal environment in development. I feel that my MBA Rural Management degree and internship projects (please refer to my resume) have provided me with a broad and solid basis to specialize in responsible management and sustainable economic development
I wish to obtain my MARMSED from -----, which is one of the few universities offering this kind of specialization. A renowned institution like yours will not only provide better knowledge but also, give me a better understanding of the steps to reduce sufferings that befall humanity. I am particularly attracted by the School's powerful pedagogical resource, vibrant intellectual atmosphere and comprehensive curriculum. It is also an opportunity to meet different people from all walks of life, gain deep-rooted knowledge of other people's culture, their way of life, and help me appreciate my own. It will allow me to know and understand how other people view issues of development in their countries thereby expanding my horizons.
In particular, I like the program because of its focus on developmental issues such as poverty, population growth; under distribution of resources, food production, issues dealing with gender inequalities, ethnicity and class. In addition, the program will broadly develop and improve my understanding of the contemporary issues affecting not only developing countries but also developed countries, worldwide. In addition to the theoretical knowledge this degree will help develop problem solving skills, managerial skills, and analytical skills that are very important for tackling development and sustainability issues of any nature.
As a part of my preparations towards my future ambitions, I have proactively sought projects in the field of Sustainable rural development in rural India. I have completed three internships in India and one in Bangkok (AIT). In all these projects I was required to work with institutions working with rural and marginalized communities which helped me in gaining a firsthand experience of the issues faced by them and steps that can be taken to address their challenges and empowering them to lead a better life. This has also helped me to broaden my understanding on the issues of sustainable development. From these projects I have learnt that sustainable economic development comes from good governance and responsible management. Some of key learning's from projects are:
- How grass root level community owned enterprises will form a strong foundation for self sufficient economy leading to sustainable economic development
- How the principles of Management and good governance can be integrated in mobilizing resources to bring community owned institutions in mainstream economy to bridge the development divide
- Roles played by institutions involved in rural development in negotiation and conflict management thereby leading to mutual cooperation and peace.
- How strategies for inclusive development can be inbuilt in the system to formulate strong policies that adapts a wholistic approach to address future developmental issues and create an enabling environment for future growth
I believe in many ways, India can take on leadership role and show the way forward in responsible management, sustainable economic development and promoting world peace. After all, India has a lot to offer from its own growth story as one of the fastest growing economies in the world and also in its efforts to bridge the gap between the haves and have not's, that come to represent the two distinct Indian identities, that of India and Bharat. I come from such Bharat, where I have seen from close quarters what skewed economic growth can lead to and how by proper implementation of sustainable developmental efforts can lead to improvement in the basic quality of life of thousands and also bring peace. It leads to not just their economic upliftment but also improves their confidence levels and spurs them on to higher growth trajectory. And where there is broad based growth and development, it is easier to sustain peace and order. My growing up years and my experience will add to my ability to become one such individual who can help my country take on this leadership role and towards this my degree from UPEACE will help me achieve my long term goal. After obtaining degree from UPEACE I would like to return India and I would like to join Non government organization. In the long run, I envision for myself a career straddling the highest levels of international development, peace and corporate social responsibility where I can lead India to international level by contributing in responsible and sustainable management.
My academic experiences have been through different multicultural exchanges whether it be studying with diverse student group from 30 countries during my graduation, or be it my one month stay at Bangkok or be it completing my field experiences where my colleagues were from different counties as well different parts of india or be it my MBA where I studied with students from 17 different states of india. This has provided me opportunities to interact with diverse set of people and learn about their work cultures. It has also helped me to make better decisions and conduct towards a method or problem in a participatory two way process. I have lot learn and share my experiences with a globalised classroom in ----
Hence I sincerely believe that given a chance, I would be able to bring to the table a thorough and deep rooted understanding of social and economic dimensions involved in the study of global sustainable development. My rich experiences from rural India and also my 2 years of study during KIIT School of Rural Management will benefit my colleagues in the course and in the process I will have a lot to learn from the truly globalised classroom in your institution, thereby establishing a symbiotic relationship.
Let me know if my revisions make sense to you.
Overall, I wanted you to introduce a little more detail--
a quote from someone--a professor or a villager.
Dear Chalumeau,
Thanks a lot for the editing. I think u have missed to look last two paragraph. Pl. help me out with that. I am making necessary changes and will post again today.
Thanks again to everyone those who has looked at my SOP and contributed in editing it.
Regards,
Rohit
To me, I thought of blood .>_<. I don't know what that says about me, but...what can you do? Sands of Life just equaled blood for me. I liked the imagery, though.
Dear Keyon,
Thanks for your comment. But I didn't got your point. Kindly Clarify.
Thanks... :)
Rohit
Dear Rohit,
Here's the last paragraph. I wanted to hear more specifics about your projects (at least one in detail) and feel that the rest of the essay is simpy a restatement of the beginning.
Comments:
- What word do you use to say one who comes from Bharat? I used "Bharata" but unsure if it's correct.
- I noticed I made a mistake yesterday but was unable to correct it or tell you. (Essayforum!!) Under the bullet points it should read, "Inclusive development enables system maturation."
Dear Chalumeau,
Thanks for again helping me out. I have taken quote from some previous posts and also changed the style and incorporated changes suggested by you. Bharat is the name of India in hindi language and also represents 7 lakh villages of india. We cannot use bharata :). I am again sending you the second draft. Kindly re look at it. After your suggestions i'll make the final draft.
Dear Rohit,
I enjoyed reading your revisions. Please see the attached corrections.
Some of the editing lines that I made did not show up in your version,
so I apologize. Essayforum is not the best way to communicate, but
it's adequate. I still would like a more in depth review of your work and
interactions in a local community. Tell about a conflict that you experienced
or witnessed and how you worked to mediate such conflict. Do you have
additional notes on your internships/diary?
Suggestions:
- Try to minimize use of abbreviations and acronyms (e.g. MARMSED, RIIT)
- Add more detail about two internship experiences. Compare and contrast them.
Dear Chalumeau,
Thanks for the changes. I'll get back to you with changes and suggestions.
meanwhile pl. look below paragraph which i think you forgot to look. :) I have to include these two paragraphs in SOP as they have mentioned it already...thanks :)
I expect to develop more fully my problems solving skills, managerial skills and analytical skills which are necessary for tackling most problems. Moreover, Independent research project will provide me a fantastic opportunity to apply tools and concepts learned in classroom. From MARMSED I expect that I will be exposed to an environment where discussions will revolve around core development and peace issues world is facing today. ( I want to add more about expectations from the course)
My academic experiences have been through different multicultural exchanges whether it be studying with diverse student group from 30 countries during my graduation, or be it my one month stay at Bangkok or be it completing my field experiences where my colleagues were from different counties as well different parts of india or be it my MBA where I studied with students from 17 different states of india. This has provided me opportunities to interact with diverse set of people and learn about their work cultures. It has also helped me to make better decisions and conduct towards a method or problem in a participatory two way process. I have lot learn and share my experiences with a globalised classroom in UPEACE (I got stuck in this paragraph; I am not able to frame sentence. Pl. help me out in rewriting this paragraph. In this I have to answer/write regarding "What type of multicultural exchanges have you had that would inform your academic experience in this programme?")
I intentionally left them out b/c I feel that there's so much more that you're not saying. I would ideally have you look at a list of your internships and experiences and write a paragaph on at least three of them. Explain in detail what you learned and accomplished.
In terms of expectations, I would look at the courses offered in the MA in RMSED program and explain why you want to learn those skills.
I also cut out the Socrates quotes, because they do not fit the ethos you are trying to portray. If you want a quote, find one spoken by a modern-day humanitarian or world leader. And pick one from someone whom you really love and respect--not what you think they want to hear. Is there anyone at your workplaces whom you respect?
I looked up UPEACE. It has an interesting history and is quite a recent addition to academia. They even have an online masters program! $15,000 is quite cheap for programs with US credentials. Usually, masters programs run about $25,000-$30,000+.
How did you hear about UPEACE?
Dear Chalumeau,
Thanks :)... Multicultural Experiences i have to add any how because they have specifically asked about it...what you say abt this ?.... :)....coming to expectations i'll add your suggestions.... :)....i'll add another quote.... :)...it's fees will be arnd 28,000 US $...if we add all costs...it'll come around 40,000 US $....I just heard it from my frnd...waitin for your kind reply...will post my new draft soon... :)
Regards,
Rohit
Dear Chalumeau,
I changed the quote also...I am sending my 3 internship experiences but this going too long....and also done some minor changes in expectations one...Pl. help me out with review... :)
Thanks
-----------------------
"If we value the pursuit of knowledge we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us." This is one of my favorite precepts and at this point of time when my future stands in front of me like a dream, this adage has now influenced me more than ever before.
During my three month internship with corporate social responsibility arm of Ambuja cements helped me to look issues faced by farmers very closely. Price realization is the main problem Indian farmers are today. I mobilized farmers and helped them in forming Producers Company. Through this farmers gained the bargaining power and they got market price of the produce which they would have not got earlier. This internship was an eye opening for me, as this gave me practical experience how market forces work in real situation. There is need to build a system which in middle of supply and demand, so that farmers will able to progress economically and sustainably.
In My two and a half month internship with NABARD (apex bank of agriculture and rural development in India), I had to conduct a study on microfinance and livelihoods. This study was done in the most backward and tribal area of India. Simply financing doesn't work, there should be other support services like skill and capacity building, education, health and livelihoods for overall growth of a poor household. Only financing will paralyze growth as poor don't have access to various services so they spend money on these services rather than spending it for business purpose. I suggested a model for inclusive growth which has finance as a main pillar and other services will be based on it.
One tambon one product (OTOP) concept in Thailand was innovative in Thailand's with respect to livelihoods. Each village produces one product and they sell it through a dedicated sales outlet. Marketing is done by the government. This helps to increase income of rural people as well there is system created through which they'll earn regular incomes. Through all my experiences I learned the economics which works behind the livelihoods is institutional mechanisms help to reduce burden on the farmers and growers, empowers them to sustain in a globalised market. I think this the place/level which needs qualified professional like me possessing global knowledge and applying it to local level and tailoring it as per the situations.
I wish to obtain my MARMSED from UPEACE, an institution that specializes in responsible management and sustainable development from peace perspective. I am particularly attracted to the school's powerful pedagogical resources, vibrant intellectual atmosphere and comprehensive curriculum. It is also an opportunity to meet persons from varying socioeconomic backgrounds and nationalities and cultivate deep-rooted knowledge of their cultures, their ways of life and their appreciation of my culture.
In particular, I wish to study developmental issues such as poverty, population growth, under distribution of resources, food production, issues dealing with gender inequalities, ethnicity and class. I expect that from RMSED I'll gain knowledge, skills and tools which will be necessary for me to take future challenges in my professional career. I will be able to analyze the impacts of policies, reforms and political decisions in international, regional and local contexts in order to be able to influence policy-making processes and make right decisions.
Dear Chalumeau,
just one thing struck in my mind now...this i have written very casually as i was not able to frame it properly...but i think you'll get my message... :)
can i write like that " to me sustainability is, like father helping his son in riding bi-cycle, supporting him by holding a carrier and slowly leaving the support so that the child ride bicycle safely and he's monitoring from back and whenever needs support his father is there", i want to be that father or instructor who allows the system to be in place, supports till its maturity and leave when the system in matured and when need arises i am there for help/guidance
what you say about this ?
Thanks :)
I thought that you took out too many paragraphs.
Let's work on the internships. Complete the form
for each internship. I feel they still aren't clear enough.
Do you still have your presentations or papers?
Dear Chaumeau,
Thanks for reviewing. I m sending short details of internships as required by you. I don't have any presentation/papers as such. but curently writing a report on role of NABARD in rural development of India for a coursework.
Pl. help soon only 2 days left to send the SOP
my draft starts here...
1. A. xxxJan 2011 - xxx march, 2011 (10 weeks)
b. Mentor was my MBA college's alumni, very sharp, intelligent, professional nature with good interpersonal and leadership skills
c. Impact assessment of farmers and mobilizing farmers to form Producers Company. Goals achieved.
d. community resource person/field volunteer, as we were new so he helped us in repo building and also helped to identify key stakeholders so that we might satisfy each of them
e. I contributed in mobilizing farmers, forming groups and then telling them the concepts of the producers company.
2. A. june 2011, one month ( 9 weeks
b. mentor was a senior faculty of AIT Bangkok, experience of 25 years
c. study of otop concept
d. my translator, for guiding me
e. I contributed in writing reports and suggesting marketing strategy for selling products
3. A. July to august, 2011 (1 month)
B. Mentor was banker having 15 years of work exp
C. study of microfinance and livelihoods
b. my colleague, as he had better understanding of the geography and village dynamics where I worked
e. I contributed in suggesting strategies of integrating non financial services in financial services.
4. A. Nov to jan, 2012 (2 months)
B. Mentor was HOD of VIP unit in NGO, she had diverse experience working in education, health and livelihoods
C. impact of education and mapping of orphans
D. school teachers, as they were able to help me in research work and data collection
e. I contributed in suggesting the reasons of dropouts and how overcome it and I mapped 120 orphans and linked to scheme of government
I have started to organize a paragraph on your internship experiences. Try completing the paragraph. Also, I corrected a couple of paragraphs you resubmitted.
Dear Chalumeau,
Thanks for changes :)
Kindly check this draft....36 hrs left for deadline... :)
---------------
SEE BELOW
I have time for one or two more revisions depending on how fast you submit them.
Dear Chalumeau,
Thanks again for the changes... :)
I have incorporated my changes....i am giving you final draft here....plz check my multicultural experiences also...as this is the final draft... :)
Do you have time for one more revision?
Let me know.
I would add one sentence about the mentor. Why you felt he/she inspired you. What special knowledge or skills did he impart to you?
I cut the "multicultural exchange" paragraph b/c it's redundant. It's also out of place in the essay. It should be the 2nd or 3rd paragraph.
Are you having a hard time reading my corrections?
Rohit review the changes I made again.
It seems as though you missed several of the changes.
???
Dear Chalumau,
Thanks... :) i misses changes because as u send changes were in image form so it was lil difficult to understand.... :)...but i made it... :)))))))))
Now last paragraph remains i.e learning's from multicultural education experiences...
Following are the points for this from my experience:
1. studying with students from 30 different nations gave a view of development issues from different perspective as there are different issues every country is facing
2. working in team during my all internships segment....in 3 internships my partners were from different nations.... i learned work culture and the different skills like proposal writing, presentation skills, report writing etc.
3. working is teams gave an practical exposure like how to accommodate in team,participatory decision making , helping others and communicating there ideas effectively...something on team spirit and leadership
4. respect of every culture and idea of each participant
pls help me in writing paragraph in around 100-150 words....
thanks :)
The problem with the paragraph was mainly the content.
You had already stated the same thing earlier in the essay.
I believe that every member of a team has worth and that
communication is necessary for sustainability. During my
internships I met _____, a student from ______. He taught
me that ___________. Team work made a difference in our
project and the overall outcome for the community. The same
is true for the nation of India: team work makes a difference.
The problem with the paragraph was mainly the content.
You had already stated the same thing earlier in the essay.
Thanks dear...can i write this as
" It has also helped me to make better decisions and conduct towards a method or problem in a participatory two way process. Team work made a difference in allthe projects and the overall outcome for the community. The same is true for the nation of India: team work makes a difference"
Ok.
It has also improved my approach helped me to make better decisions and conduct towards solving a method or problem--in a participatory two- way process. Team work made a difference in all the projects and forthe overall outcome for the communitiescommunity . The same is true for the nation of India: team work makes a difference"
Dear Chalumeau....
how can i write this effectively....
These experiences inspired and motivated me to work for upliftment and betterment of the poor and marginalized communities. Farmers are facing the problem of price realization. In india constitutes almost 67% of population lives in rural areas where main occupation is farming. 85% of Indian farmers are marginalized. So, i see myself working with those farmers and helping them to overcome the problem of price realization for sustainable economic development.
These experiences inspired and motivated me to work for upliftment and the betterment of the poor and marginalized communities. Farmers are facing the problem of price realization. In india constitutes almost 67% of population lives in rural areas where main occupation is farming. 85% of Indian farmers are marginalized according to _______.So, iI see myself working with those farmers and helping them to overcome the problem of price realization,forthe major impediment to sustainable economic development.
