Hi. It would be great to get feedback on my SoP. It may be a long read, let me know what you think!
statement of purpose
The sheer influence of Private Equity (PE) financing on trade caravans throughout history piqued my interest to continue reading The Silk Roads: A New History of the World by Peter Frankopan. The importance of influential families like XXX, wrote Frankopan, played a huge role in shaping the financing activity of merchants, who relied on private funding to grow and expand. It was suddenly obvious that my interest in finance originated from my family's involvement in the PE landscape, immediately recognising the business stories my father and I used to indulge in. These anecdotes not only influenced my career path but also had a far-reaching impact on my academic aspirations. It has instilled in me the desire to learn and understand the complex theories behind the working of finance in our modern world.
In light of these aspirations, I studied Business Management with Finance at the University of XXX. The bachelor's programme equipped me with specialised skills in finance, whilst still providing me with a breadth of knowledge of business management. Furthermore, as part of the programme, I completed a 12-month internship at XXX and XXX. I thoroughly enjoyed my time learning about many business areas and career prospects within the industry. In particular, I was fascinated with how Venture Capitalists (VC) utilised the three financial statements to provide insightful information that aided with their investment appraisal. The issue regarding financial analysis was addressed - with investors solely focusing on numbers, strategic due diligence is left neglected despite its potentially information-rich value. As a result of acknowledging such caveats, I developed a research interest in the area of private equity and its study of entrepreneurial finance. My placement project investigated the determinants of capital structure at origin and its influence on the decision of external financing. During my research however, I did observe the lack of recent literature in this topic compared to corporate finance. I believe my aspiration to deepen my knowledge and understanding of entrepreneurial finance via the 'Private Equity' core module at the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE), as well as my desire to write a dissertation in this field, are key motivations for my decision to undertake this master's degree programme.
With my academic aspirations in mind, the influence of my family's history on my career path has never faded away. More-so, it inspired me to start an educational learning channel advocating financial literacy in the XXX region. Being a content creator started as a hobby; I began by producing interactive videos on Instagram, TikTok, and Youtube. Presently, with a growing audience of over 150,000 enthusiastic followers, I am pleased to work with local and multinational financial firms like XXX, XXX and XXX on paid educational campaigns. Away from my personal time, I focus on obtaining relevant professional experience within the industry. After graduating with a BSc (Hons) Business Management with Finance degree, I briefly interned at a local PE boutique in the XXX. Showcasing my knowledge of finance and management in a technical manner, with the use of programs like Bloomberg Terminal and Excel, was well-regarded. The practical exposure from working closely with experienced professionals in my team allowed me to develop a better understanding of finance - producing valuation models and participating in key investments deals. Shortly after, with my zeal and passion to secure a career in this industry, I successfully translated this experience to a full-time analyst position at XXX Valuation and Capital Markets division in the XXX. At this point, I feel it is the right time for me to upgrade my financial knowledge by enrolling in a full-time programme. I believe, with the help of Professors like Ulf Axelson, the course will enable me to further investigate how private equity can be used in start-ups, which is a topic I would like to focus on during my MSc dissertation.
The selection of a graduate school is a difficult process; after comparing finance programmes offered by various universities, the MSc in Finance and PE at LSE best fit my academic and career goals. The choice of topics and their organisation throughout the programme prepares me with a rational mind-set to grasp advanced financial topics. Unlike many of the programmes that do not offer specialised private equity courses, the Department of Finance at LSE incorporates leading researchers and practitioners who actively participate in the development of the field. As a result, together with elective courses such as "Mergers, Buyouts and Corporate Restructurings" and the Financial Modelling workshops, the curriculum of the programme will equip me with quantitative techniques and practical knowledge that are essential to achieving my career goals. Furthermore, the programme itself and the University's prestigious reputation attracts like-minded individuals from all around the world. I couldn't think of any better opportunity to broaden my perspective than to be studying in the heart of the financial centre of the world. As I intend to join the LSESU Private Equity Society, I will be able to surround myself around students who share a similar passion of staying up to date with the latest advancements of PE. I believe this is necessary to become a more adaptable individual - an essential quality of the modern financial ecosystem.
In the near future, I see myself working as a senior analyst in London. The UK has wider job opportunities in the field of private equity and embodies the largest financial institutions in the world. On the contrary, It also provides an entrepreneurial environment for creative content creators to strive in this face-paced, lucrative field. Eventually, I plan to follow my family's footsteps and expand my father's business overseas, having the knowledge obtained from the MSc Finance and PE programme, and the practical experience gained from the UK financial sector.
Having decided that I will engage in the pursuit of a career in finance and private equity, I fully understand the kind of dedication, perseverance and resolve that a graduate programme calls for. I am confident that my enrollment at LSE will add a sense of creativity and diversity to an already reputable University. Given the opportunity, I would like to explore further the PE landscape to ensure the progression of my career and entrepreneurial orientation. I am positive that my academic foundation, research interest and professional experiences strengthened my suitability as a candidate for this programme, and sincerely hope to gain admission into the university.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,728 4511
I found myself losing interest in your statement of purpose by the third paragraph. It is too verbose to the point of boring the reader. i realize that you have a true interest in PE and a desire to become an expert in the field. the problem is not your purpose, but the way that you present the build up of your qualifications.
Truth be told, the overall read could have been accomplished in a far more interesting 4 paragraph format. Over extending the discussions just to make sure that you cover all the bases in the presentation is not always a good thing. The reviewers need applicants to present scannable statements, regardless of its type.
Rather than going into story telling mode, you should instead, be using job-interview mode. Be quick, be concise. Do not overdiscuss things. Keep the paragraphs short. Long paragraphs that tell too many back stories rather than future projections will not hold the interest of the reviewer.
Keep the family out of the discussion. It is the professional consideration, experience, and continuing education evidence that matters the most when the committee considers your qualifications. The family influence will play an integral part in the personal statement, it has no place in the statement of purpose.