Hello! I would appreciate if someone could help me with my SOP for a msc in cognitive science and give me some feedback
statement of purpose
I got interested in psychology in a very early age, around 10 or 11 years old. At that time I used to go to kids playroom where a girl who was studying psychology worked. I used to flood her with questions concerning her studies and she told me what she had learned, leaving me fascinated by the subject, by human mind: I decided that this was my way. Around 16 years old, to pursue the aim of study psychology at university, I went to an hotel management school, which gave me the opportunity to start to work at the age of 17 and to support myself and my studies from then. When I got my high school diploma I didn't sign up right away to university because I got the opportunity to go in England for two years: this experience allowed me to improve my English and to compare myself with other cultures. Coming back in Italy, I enrolled immediately at the university of ***
After a while, looking for the way to go after graduation, in this study journey I met a professor who made me passionate about data analysis and her PhD student who showed us how this could be applied to psychology, particularly the natural language analysis and textual data analysis. From their input I started to read researches and learn more about this field: the more I read the more I was fascinate, getting to know bout the connection between mind and language, how this influences mind and thoughts and how those reflects on our language.
Following this interest, in my thesis I'm dealing with textual data analysis to ***. *Explain research and preliminary results*. Moreover, the preliminary study was presented at the *** conference last December. Another research I'm interested in came from my experience with ***: it consists ***. Others concern textual data analysis in different forums, social network, etc, to predict symbolic universes, personality, psychological illness, etc.
During the summer, looking for a master which could give me the opportunity to get to the heart of the subject, and I found this master in Cognitive Science, particularly the Language and Multimodal Interaction Track. I immediately understood that this is the perfect master for me. I like and I'm interested in all the courses, particularly those on NLP and Computational Linguistic. There are laboratories at the leading edge of technology, the opportunity of internship and research projects, the fact that there are students from all the world and this intercultural environment just could enrich me.
Attending this master I will get all those competences necessary to dedicate myself to research and applications in computational psycholinguistic field, natural language processing and much more, be it academically or working in other fields. Maybe this master will give me also the possibility to give my contribution in the study of the human mind.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,230 3651
You have to remove the reference to being an 11 year old and having such an active interest in Cognitive Science already. The reviewer will see this exaggeration as you trying to qualify yourself for the program when you do not have actual abilities to do so. That paragraph alone is enough to end your application. Never exaggerate. Since this is an SOP for a masters course, use the proper focus for the overall discussion. That is, your professional exposure to the field of cognitive science after completing your undergraduate course.
You do not have the proper qualifications presented as an undergraduate or a professional to qualify for the Masters in Cognitive Science. You do not qualify for a program simply because you say it is the perfect master for yourself. An interest in all the courses, without an actual purpose or professional application on your part makes your interest weak.
As a personal statement, this essay works. As a statement of purpose, it is missing exactly that, a purpose. There is nothing referenced in this essay that would prove an actual purpose for your studies in terms of professional application. Simply having an academic interest in a masters course, which you plan to take... upon graduation from your undergraduate course perhaps, does not immediately qualify you for a masters course. The "maybe" at the end of the last paragraph sounds like the start of an actual purpose but, I can't be sure. The discussion failed to continue to explain itself just when you were getting to the actual purpose of your essay.
Delete this essay and write a true statement of purpose. One that shows an actual study goal on your part, based upon your academic and current professional experiences, whatever those may be.