Hey all,
I'm new here and really impressed with this forum. Hopefully some of you might take the time and help me out a little bit.
2 specific issues:
1. I mention some researchers from several universities. Only the last paragraph has people from the institution I'm applying for.
2. The word limit is 1000 and I have 1247, but still within the 2 pages limit.
Already got very good feedback on this from professors in two universities, but I changed it to fit to another institution. Would appreciate any comments. Thanks!
(btw, I'm an international applicant, ESL)
Here it is: (without all the footnotes)
As an Israeli architect and researcher working in one of the world's most politically and spatially complex environments, my interest in planning lies within the combination of spatial practice and social policy. Having a background in both architecture and politics, I now wish to study the potential intrinsic to housing, in terms of encouraging diversity and mediating in conflicts of social changes. Therefore, AAA's interdisciplinary nature and its vocation of social justice correspond best to my goals.
Inspired by the Just City theory and the writings of Susan Fainstein and Heather Campbell, I interpret planning, be it postmodern as it may, by its social-spatial outcome . For my final project in architecture school I redesigned a city center, undergoing urban renewal at the time. I opted to devise an alternative to gentrification by icluding affordable housing and by relying on local diversity embedded in the urban space. Since planning is both a personal passion of mine and an opportunity to promote thinking on the relations between space and power, I chose to write my master's thesis within the Department of Interdisciplinary Studies, evaluating contemporary planning methods by standards of their own social ideology. My overall CGPA is 9.34 on a scale of 10.
I believe that being a planner means having a critical as well as a visionary take on urban space and society. That is why, in addition to being committed to excellence in research, I am involved in public planning frameworks such as municipal committees and in political activities in Israel.
So far in my research, I have studied specifically the application of New Urbanism to the city of Tel Aviv. Stemming primarily from Foucault's theory of Heterotopias and from Edward Soja's Thirdspace interpretation to Lefebvre's idea of the Production of Space, I set out to define a concept of "Other Space" : a place in the city that is both different and for the different; an actual location where the urban continuum is disrupted. I examine a case study of urban renewal in the site of a former Palestinian Arab village in the heart of Tel Aviv, and assess whether New Urbanism - seemingly upholding local values and diversity in placemaking - allows for viability of Other Space in the city. This is done by comparing spatial and cultural characteristic of the original site with the renewal plan and its stated goals. Stimulated by Lefebvre's notion of difference as crucial for urban equality, this research deals with questions of otherness in an urban context . My ideas on Other Space as enabling urban diversity have been accepted with great interest at international conferences . Israel makes a compelling case of how urban space is interlocked with rights and self-determination on many different scales. It exemplifies planning as a marginalizing force in many respects other than social strata, such as national identity. Having looked at spatial outcomes of postmodern planning from a fresh perspective, that of Other Space, I recognize immediate threats to urban society and its sustainability from the planned assimilation of diversified space into the urban continuum. To promote this viewpoint, I volunteer at the BBB, where I put my ideas into practice. In the CCC, we strive to make density an incentive for diversity, by mixing land-uses and housing opportunities.
Now, I wish to bring the insight of Other Space into the scope of housing policy and pursue the issue of otherness on a more practical level. In my proposed research, I intend to ask how a housing policy may potentially be a means for managing difference in urban space.
My long term goal is to craft an applicable model for housing as a strategy for diversity, informed by urban policies of multi-culturalized Canadian cities, and afterwards introduced to Israel's planning community. This dual focus will ultimately lead to a new understanding of housing - not merely as a solution for one of cities' most pressing needs or a part of a sustainability trend, but as an apparatus for addressing contested values in urban community. In Inclusionary Housing Alan Mallach describes a coaltion of architecture and planning to affirm diversity in communiteis injected with affordable housing . In a recent tour in Israel, Mallach discussed the relevance of Inclusionary Housing to the Israeli political mechnisms . AAA's PhD program will provide me a unique opportunity to study Canadian urban policies from a critical perspective. Understanding their affect on urban multi-culturalism is imperative for any urban research, but essential in the case of Israeli housing policy which has always been part of a national agenda concerning population distribution with the objectives of establishing national identity to the people as well as to space.
When Leonie Sandercock examines urban difference, she mentions research done in Israel on the relations between cultural difference, space, and human rights . Assuming housing tactics reflect identity clashes within the national state, I plan to survey housing policies throughout Israel's short history as an independent state and investigate how they mirror or accommodate difference. This may be measured in political terms such as legislation that defines target populations for housing, as well as by architectural criteria such as relations between private and public space. Drawing from my previous research, I expect to find a unifying force, sometimes acting in the name of diversity, serving national (rather than urban) politics.
Indeed no longer fully a welfare state, housing is still perceived in Israel as some informal fundamental right. However, Israeli cities are faced with a political dilemma: for whom this housing is meant? For me, AAA's mission to create a more sustainable world by making it more equitable and just, and in particular the study on planning for diversity done by Prof. R , along with the emphasis on the politics of difference, as in Prof. G's GGG , is the best suited combination for launching an informed discussion on what constitutes housing as a sustainability factor. With the help of formal courses, like PPP, I hope to derive a new frame of thinking about housing as an inclusive strategy. I am interested in Prof. K's research on HHH, influenced by Henri Lefebvre . I wish to investigate how his concept of the CCC may be understood in the Israeli context. This will help in delineating the potential role of housing in overcoming local barriers of diversity.
I see my research to fit well within AAA's major themes of study, such as cultural production; governance, justice and democracy; urban sustainability; and, of course, planning theory and practice. I am certain my personal and academic experience will enable me to make a substantial contribution to research done in AAA's research institute, especially in international comparative studies on urban socail sustainability.
G and D's JJJ (2008) explains the political role of the city in forming a non-national citizenship, allowing marginalized groups to exercise their Right, while difference is at the core of the urban production of space. Thus, the issue of housing should be examined by measures of the right to be different. The key is to acknowledge Other Spaces as means for urban development, evoking alternative identities and subjects that are Others.
People's Everyday Spaces are affected by social policy . I strongly believe that housing policy, being deeply rooted in social awareness as it is in Israel, must be committed to the struggle for subjectivity and for preserving otherness in urban space.
Let's keep the momentum up in this second sentence of the essay:
Having a background in both Experience in architecture and politics compels me toward the study of potential...
The first sentence is great, but the phrase that came before the comma in the second sentence killed the forward momentum.
Also, I suggest "sharpening" the thesis statement by adding a sentence AFTER that last sentence of the first paragraph. Add a sentence that establishes a memorable THEME, perhaps one with a key word or term that you would like the reader to mentally associate with you.
be it postmodern as it may, by its social-spatial outcome---do you mean that the social-spacial outcome is pragmatic and that it is surprising that something that reflects postmodern style can be pragmatic despite its abstract nature? This seems like a cool idea, but you should explain it.
This gets better and better as I continue to read, and as long as the reader does not get too confused you will do very well with this. It shows that you are already knowledgeable... and the best way to revise is to simplify and improve clarity. But you should feel very confident. And the way you presented this makes it okay to cite professors from all over, not just the university to which you're applying.
Welcome to EssayForum!
:-)
