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SOP for MS program in Mechanical Engineering - the spread of transportation and safety

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Sep 3, 2019   #1

I am well prepared to enter Pennsylvania State University

Advances in technology have led to the spread of transportation, but the rate of accidents caused by man-made or mechanical failures has increased continuously. This has not only seriously affected our pleasure and enjoyment of driving but also endangered our safety deeply. Therefore, I am determined to make some improvements, from the aspect of materials, structure, and control to promote personal safety and driving quality as my ultimate goal of study. To do so, I must learn the most advanced technique and expertise, combining with international academic power. Thus I chose to study at PSU and work with worldwide renowned faculty, scientists, and engineers to perform the most advanced experiments and theories and figure out the best solution together.

Soon after major Mechanical Engineering, I was very fortunate to be able to take the computer-aided engineering course taught by Prof. Liu De-Shin. Under his lead, I quickly learned about theories behind ANSYS. In the final group presentation, I analyzed the natural frequency and vibration modal of the machine tool under different materials and structures. Finally, I passed with a score of the top of the class. Also, in the mechanical design course, ANSYS allows me to fully utilize the knowledge of material mechanics and provides a more reliable motorcycle fork safety report than manual calculation.

Under the guidance of Prof. Cheng Jung-Wei, who teach circuits and electronics course, I can analyze the characteristics of circuits and electronic components from the angle of mechanics, which helped me to have a better understanding and find a great curiosity on them. After learning most kinds of sensors and actuators, I realized that prevention is always better than cure. While improving the safety structure of the vehicle, advanced sensors and intelligent systems also play a critical role to prevent accidents. Therefore, based on the knowledge of structural mechanics, I decided to focus on the control field and try to integrate these technologies into the vehicle safety system to minimize the occurrence and consequences of accidents.

To learn more about the field of control, I asked Prof. Hong Boe-Shong as my research advisor and learn the algorithm and theories of the micro-programmed control unit. Under his direction, I learned many algorithms and theories about control in his lab and developed many applications. For example, digital filters for the vehicle to smooth gear shifting by stabilizing and denoising inclinometer signals, gear system based high accuracy incremental encoder with a resolution up to 0.045 degrees to calculate the angular position and velocity of the wheel in real-time. As the enlightener of my knowledge, Professor Hong taught me about leadership and a positive attitude towards research. So I can lead the team of 5 members to conduct many course projects and research reports and overcome any problems we encountered.

To improve my professional expertise and conduct in-depth research in the future, I also took graduate courses like Mechanical Behavior of Materials, Control Firmware, Digital Control System Design, MEMS, etc., are also inspiring my great enthusiasm and desire for pursuing a master degree in Mechanical Engineering. During the extracurricular time, I participated in Nagoya University short-term Japanese program and won the JASSO scholarship from the international student competition. Through the field trip conducted by the program, I had a chance to visit the Toyota Museum of Industry and Technology. Finally, I investigated the safety structure and technology of Toyota vehicles and made a presentation on the class as my final project.

Moving toward graduate school, I will focus on Sensors and Controls, and learn to apply unique control algorithms to improve the system's performance. Among the many research areas, Prof. Sean Brennan's research on to estimate the ego vehicle's motion by analyzes optical flow, and Vehicle Road Departure Detection are the most attractive research topics to me. Also, Prof. Chris Rahn's research on control Fluidic Flexible Matrix Composite has also caught my attention greatly. I will very enjoy my research life under their professional guidance and mentoring. Certainly, my ultimate academic goal is to get a Ph.D. So far, I have enjoyed my research experience very much. Comparing to join the corporate, I prefer to stay in academia after finish the graduate program, learning the most pioneering technologies and passing on what I have learned. Beside, PSU also provides me an opportunity to be around with diverse student organizations, listen to the speech by celebrities, and exciting outdoor activities like skiing and football. It will help me to enrich and balance my research life.

Through my solid university education, I firmly believe I am well prepared to enter Pennsylvania State University as a graduate student of Mechanical Engineering and promote personal safety and driving quality as my ultimate research goal. I will make good use of the most advanced experimental resources to solve any difficulties encountered in the research and development process, and to do my best to flourish the academic atmosphere for the university.

Maria - / 1,100 389  
Sep 11, 2019   #2
Hi, dear! I apologize for the delay. I hope that this feedback serves you well in the future. If you find this to be helpful, do not be afraid to come to us for more inquiry.

First and foremost, while I find that the introduction had quite a strong push, I suggest that you save the dramatization for a bit later of a time in your writing. Considering that you need to be able to showcase to the readers firstly what your intentions are in writing, I recommend that you focus first on establishing a core principle by being straightforward from the get-go. Omit the first paragraph you have now and attempt to replace it with a more structured written format. That being said, I recommend that you follow through this statement with the story that you currently have.

While I also think that you had quite a definitive structure that had a lot of potential, I recommend that you incorporate a lot more details into your writing. By doing this, you are enabling yourself to write with more ease. By doing this, you are also making yourself appear to be more knowledgeable in the field. Notice, for instance, your second paragraph. While you had incorporated general notions and ideas, it would have been beneficial if you could have sorted out your writing with a bit more consideration.

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