Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Graduate   % width Posts: 5

Statement of Purpose ( Bioengineering → Industrial Engineering)

liapple7237 1 / 4  
Dec 3, 2009   #1
My value of 'Do things which can improve people's life' has been the guideline in my decision-making progress in the past.

I chose Bioengineering as my undergraduate specialty because of my dream of developing new technologies to save people from diseases. My undergraduate curriculum at Harbin Institute of Technology (HIT) introduced me a wide gamut of subjects, both in and outside the field. Various courses like Mathematics Analysis, Computer Language and Electrotechnics have provided me with a strong basis in theoretical concept of engineering discipline.

As a research assistant in the biology laboratory, I utilized statistical methods to process and analyze experimental data. I developed my C Language programming and AutoCAD skills through problem solving. I also initiatively proposed a new method to explore optimum conditions. While my study was simple, I ultimately received a more accurate and reliable experiment result, along with the praise from my supervisor for my excellent research ability and creative thinking.

However, my career goal changed after the internship at Shanghai Wolwo Bio-pharmaceutical Co., Ltd (SWBC). There I was in charge of drug sales, stock management as well as operations assistant. I also familiarized myself with the whole operation process of pharmaceutical industry. While at the same time, I found that some problems were embodied in the company. Its management means and methods were stereotyped, such as the book management system. Adapt at MS software, I managed to establish an electronic Library Information Management System to improve efficiency. Yet, in terms of other problems-for instance, staff's arrangement, technical file management and manpower resource utilization estimation-I could do nothing to help. These problems not only led to staff's low working efficiency, but also prohibited medicines from being delivered to patients in time. What an impact a company's executive and operational efficiency could make! I used to think that only technology could change people's life, but this time, I realized that without high operational efficiency, bio-productions could not be applied to ameliorate people's lives to the highest degree. Therefore, I decided to pursue a management related discipline. My experiences at HIT and SWBC have shown that, Industrial Engineering (IE) is the best choice for me because it could combine my engineering background and program interest together.

Personal satisfaction also plays a key role on my decision-making. While monetary rewards are of practical importance, true job satisfaction springs from the opportunity to grow and learn within an industry. A career with open prospects would give me constant incentive to upgrade myself and to learn more knowledge. In addition, I enjoy observing and reflecting on what could be done to improve the situation. As vice-president of Students Career Development Association, I tend to observe the world around me and communicate my observations and suggestions to the association advisor. I carried out several new projects and restructured the association's organization, even in the face of unresponsive management. This position has developed my guts and steely nerves, improved my interpersonal skills and accumulated my managerial experiences. I enjoy the sense of productivity and usefulness I profit from the work, and feel it is a valuable experience for future employment.

Given the fusion of my personal and professional interests, my goal is to obtain a master degree and then to work in a biopharmaceutical industry in America, either with a consulting firm or as an operation manager. With fruitful accomplishments, I will return to make my due contributions to my motherland, China, whose biopharmaceutical industry is in urgent need of development.

Pursuing a master degree in Columbia University could flatten the path to these goals. Your outreach programs, especially in Production and Operations Management concentrations can integrate with my engineering background. Such programs will enlarge my expertise and vision to fulfill the career goal. Moreover, substantial internship opportunities will help to hone my professional skills. With the dedication of your staff and faculty, I am confident that I could better prepare for my career, so as to contribute more to the improvement of the people's livelihood.
elizabeth_h1 1 / 6  
Dec 3, 2009   #2
Great essay. I think I would change the word "Pursuing a master degree in Columbia University could flatten the path to these goals" flatten in this paragraph because it makes me feel like you don't want to be there :). But other than that well done. Good luck. :)
OP liapple7237 1 / 4  
Dec 3, 2009   #3
My friends said that this passage could not show my personalities. I don't know why.

What do you think?
OP liapple7237 1 / 4  
Dec 3, 2009   #4
I have some questions:
1. Is this essay well organized to make it clear why I want to transfer to pursue a MS degree in Industrial Engineering?
2. As an international student, what can I do to improve this essay so that it looks more native?
3. My friends told me that this essay cannot tell why I am distinctive. So what should I do?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 4, 2009   #5
It is all about going deep into the reader's attention. Let them know you like this:
Determined to save people from diseases, I chose Bioengineering as my undergraduate specialty. because of my dream of developing new technologies to save people from diseases. This way, you plant an idea in the reader's attention right away.

Determined to save people from diseases...

Personal satisfaction also plays a key role in my decision-making.---> i think this sentence is weak. Topic sentences have to get paragraphs off to a colorful start. To pierce the reader's attention, do not use a generality like "pers. satisfaction".. instead, use an action verb:

I scamper after satisfaction, weighing out all options with an interest in satisfying my...

Home / Graduate / Statement of Purpose ( Bioengineering → Industrial Engineering)