I am preparing for applying for the master program in data science or data management. Please give me some advice on the personal statement. Thx!
After completing the exchange study programme at the University of XXX, I decided without hesitation to pursue a master's degree in data analytics. Enrolling in the Data Management & Security and Database Systems courses, I acquired a comprehensive theoretical knowledge of both relational and NoSQL databases and put the theory into action, designing and implementing appropriate database systems and creating efficient data applications. I also refined my programming skills while doing intensive coding of applications. When I heard 'this solution is smart, I like it' and 'you really have strong coding skills' from different tutors, I knew I had the talent and a desire to work towards an R&D role in the field of Information Technology. I also realised I needed an intensive study programme in a school of computer science to do so.
While studying information management during my bachelor's degree programme, I learned the power of data, especially on the internet and e-commerce fields. Online comments contain rich information about consumers, including user experience and attitude towards a product or the service. The numerous textual reviews can largely affect the decisions of potential users, also providing a business with the opportunity to improve their processes. In the Information Resource Management and Planning course, my teammates and I focused on the comments on different websites about a hotpot chain restaurant. Analysing the influence of eWOM, or buzz marketing, we used open source tools to collect online comments, segment the words, and extract the feature words depending on word frequency. We then calculated the score based on a basic evaluation system and processed the comments. With this data analysis, we could describe why customers like the restaurant and how it can improve. It was a challenging exercise in text mining methodology, data transformation, and analytics, which yielded valuable customer information for the restaurant to use in targeted marketing.
Inspired by this experience, I pursued my curiosity about data mining and analysis. In a course on Information Analysis and Prediction, I worked on two projects independently and found I enjoyed the process of using fundamental data mining technology and skills. In the first project, I analysed the research topic of Information Science discipline over the last five years. Using content analysis methodology, I counted the frequency of the paper's keywords and classified the high-frequency words using cluster analysis; thus finding the main research topics and exposing interesting trends. In the second, I wrote a report exploring trends in user-generated content with data visualisation tools. The practical training acquainted me with the various data analysis applications and their uses in both the areas of academic and the Information Technology industry.
I want to become even more involved in the world of big data. I look forward to working as a data scientist and see your master's degree programme as the best way to prepare myself for it. The broad selection of courses in your programme allows me to gain advanced knowledge and improve my practical skills. I can extend my data analytics skills beyond the fundamental knowledge I have now, and contribute some of my unique insights while enrolled in your programme. Beyond that, I hope to make valuable contributions in the future to the field of data science.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,377 3370
Li, the last 3 paragraphs of your current essay fall directly within the requirements of a personal statement that highlights how your interest in data science developed and evolved. A personal statement looks more at the evolution of an interest rather than the skills and academic training received, those two belonging to the statement of purpose instead. So you should adjust the content of the last 3 paragraphs to lessen the academic learning and skills development references and instead, use a reference to how your interests heightened due to the workplace setting you were involved in.
There is also a missing reference to the reason that you chose to attend a specific university. Since the personal statement is not a "one size fits all" university essay, you need to create the impression that you have thoroughly considered your academic needs in relation to your professional development, which is why you chose a specific academic setting within the university. That is usually the last part of the personal statement that helps to give the reviewer an idea of what your academic expectations are and, if you have considered the demands of a masters course on your time and lifestyle.
Revise the essay as instructed and then we can revisit the content for relevance and proper application to the prompt expectations. If you have a list of specific questions from the university to respond to, please make sure to review your essay for prompt responsiveness and add any missing information based on the list. Once you post your revised essay, please include those instructions or questions as well for my reference.