Hello everyone! I'm applying for the M.Eng. Mechanical Engineering course at The University of Alberta. I've written this as my statement of purpose but I would like to get other's opinion before I upload it to the website. Feel free to point out anything. Any kind of reply will be helpful. Thank you, guys!
Personal Statement
As a Mechanical Engineering undergraduate student with a vehement fascination in the field of Thermal and Aerospace Engineering, I have grasped the fundamentals that are pertinent to most machines, tools and procedures which naturally expands my horizon of learning and research. Pursuing the master's course in Mechanical Engineering, particularly focussing on Fluid Mechanics and Systems, from your prestigious University will bestow me with the finest possible platform for the realization of my future goals. I extract my inspiration for this course from my father. He is a Mechanical Engineer who serves as the Assistant General Manager in a private organization, Sundaram Fasteners Pvt Ltd. He introduced me to the Powder Metallurgy Plant and Cold Extrusion Plant at a very receptive age. This, quite naturally, set off in me a desire to learn more about what ensues inside these machines, the logic behind their exact and specific working. And all of this amplified my raring interest in the field, leading to my willingness to pursue an under graduation in Mechanical Engineering.
My 2nd and 3rd Semester of under graduation, in particular, introduced me to the fascinating world of Fluid Dynamics and Thermodynamics. Marvelling at the working of various fuel cycles and gas turbine cycles and putting so much effort into learning Boundary Layer Theory, Fluid Kinematics and Dynamics, I was inquisitive to learn and improve my knowledge about everything that makes these subjects extraordinary. My burning passion for these subjects also helped me secure the highest grade in my practical lab examinations. And for this reason, I would like to focus on my Directed Research Project in the field of Fluid Dynamics and Systems.
Towards the end of my 6th semester, I was familiar with most of the manufacturing subjects and concepts. I wanted to intern in an industry where I could practically apply everything that I had learnt over the years. I underwent an internship at Ratnalekshmi Precision Tools Private Limited. We used CATIA V5 software and also learnt how to use ANSYS to simulate the computer models for analysing strength, toughness and other attributes. At the end of the design process, I aided the manufacturing team in the process of choosing the appropriate type of welding springs to be used apart from the other tasks, by applying the knowledge I acquired from studying Design of Machine Elements in an earlier semester. It was a challenging but rewarding experience and I was able to deepen my knowledge in that particular domain. Recently, I worked as a research intern for Simulation Lab on a project titled "Feature on Wing Flap to Enhance Aerodynamic Efficiency". My experience with using ANSYS for this project is completely different from how I used it in my previous internship as this project deals with Fluid Flow Analysis with the FLUENT solver. From the Meshing to setting up a CFD Analysis and generating the results, it was an entirely new and unknown territory for me and I enjoyed the process of learning and applying. This learning experience has also helped me realise how powerful ANSYS can be as simulation software. With these internships, I was able to grow my knowledge about many concepts as a Mechanical Engineer and also make myself industry-ready by learning the required CAD and Analysis softwares.
I have been a very hardworking and assiduous student throughout my undergraduate years. Unfortunately, during my 4th semester, I had to repeat another class. I was extremely upset. I started scrutinizing my activities and even started contemplating my capabilities as a Mechanical Engineer. I found it very hard to accept that a course like "Manufacturing Technology II" which involved understanding very basic but crucial manufacturing processes and memorizing formulae for a mere substitution of values could be a possible professional setback. It was even harder given the fact that I had secured the highest grade in the practical lab exam of the same subject. Eventually, I passed the subject the very next semester. If there was anything I learnt from my undergraduate years, it was perseverance. I put my heart and soul into understanding the essence of this subject from its core and managed to ace the exam. Balancing my education and extracurricular activities wasn't always a cakewalk but I never backed down and gave my best throughout. With these qualities, I'll be able to provide only the best for the University by putting in a lot of hard work and smart work with self-motivation.
I am very much impressed with the proficient faculty members, the environment and the facilities the University has to offer to its students. I also understand that the syllabus offered at your prestigious university is mapped out to meet the needs of the present-day industry covering Manufacturing, Management, Dynamics and Thermodynamics amongst others. The Computational Fluid Dynamics Laboratory is a state-of-the-art lab and one of the best in the world. I am fascinated by the research carried out by this research group headed by Prof. Arman Hemmati, particularly the Non-Linear Viscosity Model. It would be a great privilege to be involved in similar lines of research projects during my degree and I believe I'll be the perfect fit because of my experience with CFD and Materials Analysis while working on Research Projects as well as my Lab Practical Examinations. I eagerly look forward to contributing and being a part of the research fraternity at the University of Alberta. Given these facts, I firmly believe that there cannot be a better environment than the University of Alberta to gain exceptional knowledge about Mechanical Engineering. I will work further towards honing my skill set during my time as a graduate student and I am confident of emerging as a well-equipped individual into the world of engineering. I see a clear fit for my interests at your University and I am confident that it is a great place for me to pursue a Master's.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 The ideal SOP presentation has a maximum word count of 750 words. I find this essay to be extremely wordy. You need to be more direct in your discussion presentations and try to focus only on the important elements. By keeping this essay to about 500-600 words, the reviewer will find it easier to keep track of what you want to say and why it is important to you and how it applies to your future career.
The influence of your father can be removed because that is more a part of the personal statement or statement of interest essay. That has no bearing on your future professional goals. The reason for repeating a class is also irrelevant at this time since you are already a professional and it is your professional training and experience that matters more. You should only prove that you have an academic foundation that can help you participate as a student in the masters course.
