Saptarshi, let me start off by telling you that the format you have for your Statement of Purpose is all wrong. You are not supposed to write this as a formal letter since this is a formal essay. That said, the format of this type of essay follows the normal essay format and is best written within the specified word count. Removing the opening salutation that you have now will immediately fix the format of the essay. There is no need to formally greet the reviewer of your paper. Neither do you have to thank them for the opportunity to present yourself as a candidate for higher studies. Uou are note delivering an oratory speech nor defending a thesis. Therefore you have to delete the following from your introduction:
Respected Sir/Madam
I would like to thank you for giving me this opportunity to introduce myself in order to apply for the Master of Manufacturing Technology (MMT) program .
My association with the space program of my home country is one of the important steps that I have taken towards realising this goal.
- Since you are applying for a specific field of higher study, you should use this opening to present your work experience as relevant to your future plans of study. Develop this line with more information about your professional experience.
Upon intense scrutiny of the course objectives and curriculum, I am convinced that the program is essential for me to attain my objectives.
- How exactly do your future plans for your career align with the course program offered by the university? How can they help you achieve these goals and what can you do for the university in the future? Be specific. Mention courses, notable names at the university you want to work with, etc.
In conclusion, it is always best to mention your short and long term goals after completing the program. The idea is to make your application stand out from the rest of the applicants and that can be done by showing them a unique plan you have for your future career.
It is important that you revise the essay using some of the guidelines that I have given you in order to create a more solid picture of who you are as a professional and as a student interested in higher studies. Add anything else that you feel might help highlight your application. It would be best if you work with us as you develop the final version of your application essay though so that it can be further polished and enhanced in the future.
Here's looking forward to your next draft :-)