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Personal statement for a Master program- Need assistance


Karmele 1 / 2  
Oct 8, 2009   #1
Hi everyone!!!

Im applying for a Master Program and they ask me for a Personal statement this is what they ask me:

Describe your reasons for applying for the course you wish to follow and explain how it will help you with the work you expect to do on your return to your home country.

You should include an outline of your intended profession, your ambitions and your career plan.
Describe also, your most outstanding non-academic achievement involving other people where you demonstrated leadership potential (you may describe an extra curricular/sport/community/professional activity or an assignment):


Is the first time I had to write one, by the way english is not my mother tongue, so it gets a little bit more complicated.

I dont know how to start, and how can I put together all the pieces.
Anyone can give me a hand???

Thanks a lot
Karmele
EF_Stephen - / 264  
Oct 8, 2009   #2
It's best to begin generally. What are you interested in? What experiences have you had that relate to what you want to do? Give examples.

Then you need to talk about yourself. Who are you? How will I, as a member of the admissions committee, remember you? How will I perceive that you are different from the other applicants?
yanyi869 - / 1  
Oct 19, 2009   #3
list everything you wanna on a piece of paper , then put them in a right order with the most important first then second...cause i still believe the logic is most important

good luck~
connan0702 2 / 4  
Oct 24, 2009   #4
The personal statement is an essay, generally under 1,000 words, which is designed to give the selection committee a sense of who you are and how closely your goals and strengths match the ideals of a specific fellowship. In this essay you have a great deal of flexibility on how to organize and present your thoughts, but you should be sure to cover the following basic points:

your qualifications for the given fellowship
how the fellowship fits in with your personal and professional goals
A personal statement is generally most effective when it concentrates on:

1an issue or experience that you feel strongly about, or one that has helped to shape who you are
2a significant accomplishment or contribution you have made to your field or community
this is the common requirement of the universtiy. and remember to write from outlines,then details and then revise. any questions, free to contact me.
OP Karmele 1 / 2  
Oct 27, 2009   #5
Hi, here is my personal statement ready, the questions are:
Describe your reasons for applying for the course you wish to follow and explain how it will help you with the work you expect to do on your return to your home country.

My name is Karmele, I'm the second of a family of three kids. I was born in a hard working Venezuelan-Basque family in Caracas, Venezuela. In this application I hope to demonstrate not only the academic and professional qualifications that make me an exceptional candidate to XXX University's Master's program in Refinery Design and Operation and to your scholarship, but also the personal characteristics that will allow me to obtain the most from studying at XXX University.

As mentioned before I was born in Caracas, Venezuela. Aside from traveling abroad on family vacations, I've had the opportunity to be exposed to several cultures throughout my life. I lived in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, for 6 years due to my father's work; and I also had the opportunity to live for a year in North Adams, Massachusetts (US) where I completed a year in the local High School allowing me to become fluent in English.

One of the most rewarding activities I have been involved with is teaching. During my college years I was awarded a competitive Teaching Assistant position in Organic and Inorganic Chemistry where I was required to assist students with theoretical understanding, practical exercises and Lab activities. I found teaching to be a very demanding activity. It not only requires knowledge and patience, but also the ability to be able to transmit that information to your students. In addition it requires leadership and character. The best instructors are able to connect with their students and teach them not only class content but life lessons. I believe that my focus on group projects, zero tolerance towards plagiarism, and accessibility left a positive impression on my students.

My professional experience includes an internship in the El Palito refinery (Moron, Venezuela) where I got to spend four months as an intern. This training allowed me to become familiar with the overall refining process and in particular with the importance of pressure relief systems. Also as part of my undergrad, I completed a one year research study in INTEVEP the research and development branch of Petróleos de Venezuela (PDVSA). This study consisted on evaluating different catalyst preparations using the ISAL technology conceived by INTEVEP with the goal of doing a "Catalyst Evaluation for Naphtha Hydro-conversion in a bench scale" to improve Gasoline quality.

During the last three and a half years I have worked for INELECTRA, one of the world's 50 most important Engineering and Procurement companies in the energy sector and one of the 3 largest in Latin America. As part of the Process Department, I have participated in a number of important projects. I have been responsible for the specification of equipments such as pumps, heat exchangers, and vessels; dimensioning of pipe lines, control valves, pressure relief valves, and instruments. I have also worked with Piping and Instrumentation diagrams, Process Fluid Diagrams and Material Diagrams. I have participated at HAZOP (Hazard and operability studies) and site surveys. Finally, given my competency and the trust earned with my supervisors, I was assigned as a Process Engineer at the JGC Japan office for a three months cooperative work between both companies for the Deep Conversion Project at the Puerto la Cruz Refinery.

During this period I became familiar with ‎different process that range from production to distribution, by participating in diverse refining and petrochemical projects such as Base case Engineering for the Revamp of the Atmospheric Distillation Units; Detail Engineering for the Expansion of the Propylene Production Plant; Engineering, Procurement and Construction for the Production of Propane, Butane, Gasoline and Diesel of the Pisco Plant; Procurement Activities for the Procurement Department in the Project Metor Expansion Plant; Base Engineering for the ARU, SWS, CDU/VDU, NDHDT, SRU and TGTU .

Beyond the continued technical learning's, in my years at Inelectra I have learned about work ethics, working under strict time constraints, visualizing abstract ‎concepts, and applying concepts to industrial projects in real time. Additionally, I have also gained an in-depth understanding of the major production processes of an oil field as well as the main problems that an oil field might face.

My main motivation to apply to the Master program in refining is that I want improve my knowledge in refinery design and operations. While Venezuela provides excellent opportunities for undergraduate studies in oil related fields. At the graduate level, we don't have the diversity of opportunities and institutions to acquire the necessary knowledge. Given this reality, I would like to go attend your master program.

Learning doesn't stop when you graduate it is a process that continues throughout life. I expect that the knowledge I obtain in the master program will allow me to return home and obtain a job in the oil sector which would allow me to contribute in improving refining and operation processes. I'm also interested in gaining a better understanding of the business aspects of the oil industry.

I am convinced that my academic credentials of a top tier education with a strong scientific component, my professional experience in the field of oil processing, and my personal traits such as good communication skills, leadership qualities, and team work attitude make me a worthy candidate for your scholarship program. I am enthusiast about the challenge to attend the University of XXX.

While I realize that this scholarship is very competitive, I consider myself highly qualified to be successful in the program I'm pursuing. I appreciate your consideration of my application. Please don't hesitate to contact me should you have any questions either at my phone number XXX, or through my e-mail XXX.

Looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,

Karmele
EF_Stephen - / 264  
Oct 27, 2009   #6
Well, from not knowing how to do it to actually doing it, you have made a marvelous essay. I must say that you are quite experienced and talented; your qualifications are impeccable, and I think that you have managed to communicate that very well.
OP Karmele 1 / 2  
Oct 28, 2009   #7
Thank you very much Stephen!!! It took me a little bit of time to complete it!!!! Now for the scholarship!!!!
NEHALB 3 / 7  
Nov 3, 2009   #8
Hi ,

you have actually written very good SOP , I could not see any of the disabilities you mentioned earlier in your writing.

Good Luck


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