Personal Statement
Hi, I am going to apply for my master's degree and I would really appreciate some feedback on my personal statement
To the selection committee,
Looking at the remarkable development of Indonesia's logistics and supply chain since 2021 after the intensity of the COVID-19 outbreak, particularly in light of technological advances and tremendous entrepreneurship, the integration of logistics and supply chain is evolving and leading to future job growth. To achieve our internationalisation goals in the face of Industry 4.0, it is critical to have a thorough understanding of this industry in order to anticipate current challenges such as high distribution costs and limited exposure for export business expansion, especially for small and medium-sized enterprises. Learning how effective global supply chains work by analysing multiple real-world scenarios, will encourage more businesses to develop appropriate systems or initiatives.
These existing issues were also encountered during my time as a supply chain supervisor at XXX, one of the world's leading logistics, supply chain, and shipping service companies. I became more interested in this industry after realising how similar this role was to my previous speciality, Operations Research. Handling several high-profile accounts with varying difficulties, including H&M, Macy's, and Michael Kors, was the most effective way for me to expand my skills and knowledge. Throughout my career, I have seen how crucial the overall connectivity of each business function was in maintaining stakeholder management and good performance while focusing on goal accomplishments. Some obstacles were successfully overcome, as evidenced by a monthly global score of 4 out of 5, followed by Macy's recognition as Outstanding Individual Performer for 2020. These achievements were not overlooked, and I was promoted to SCM Team Leader a year later for clearing severe backlogs in one of our top accounts, William Sonoma.
While running errands, my interest in technology inspired me to participate in numerous system innovations as the representative of our area, Indonesia and the Philippines. These extra miles led to my selection as the Area Subject Matter Expert (SME), with the responsibilities of leading and acting as a change agent in all SCM global project implementations. As one of the world's top five SMEs, the System Development team leader invited me to join the UAT team for the latest largest global project, the New SCM Platform, to be directly involved in project-wide system development, such as designing, testing and assessing processes.
Master of Supply Chain Management programme at the University of Melbourne would broaden my global perspectives on this business, for example, by studying supply chain frameworks, analytics, and sustainable strategy. These specific topics will motivate me to establish sustainable effective supply chain strategies for Indonesia, as expected from direct engagement in practical opportunities with world-class expertise. These invaluable experiences will strengthen my ability to pursue my professional career goal of becoming a supply chain consultant, as an excellent comprehensive understanding of analytical thinking in problem-solving and decision-making and the ability to design compatible solutions are required.
I am confident that the characteristics and interpersonal skills I have will enable me to successfully complete the program.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Do not mix motivational factors into the personal statement as those are 2 different application essays. when one trees to address both into one essay, the focus of the essay is lost. I say this without knowing if there are personal statement prompt guidelines provided by the university. If there are guide questions provided,then these should have been included in the current post for my reference.
The personal essay should delve on the evolution of the applicant's interest in the course. So, I believe that more attention should be focused on the development of statements made in paragraphs 3 and 4 instead. The earlier paragraphs are more related to motivational considerations.
Truth be told, I wanted to review this under AAS standards but was unsure about it so I went with a general review instead. Kindly specify if and what scholarship is involved next time (if any).
