Statement of Purpose
Ever since I was a kid, I have been fascinated by mathematics. As I grew up, I understood that I wanted to become an engineer who solves real-world problems where mathematics is the most fundamental tool for finding such solutions. This resulted in my studies in Engineering mathematics at XXX, where I first stumbled upon computer science and more advanced statistics and was instantly hooked. The revelation was clear; my future career would be in Data Science, a perfect blend of Computer Science and Mathematics. I have reached the third year of my studies and am looking for a new challenge as my master's studies are approaching: a one-semester exchange at ETH Zurich. I admire all that ETH Zurich has to offer to a student of International Relations, particularly the courses regarding Data Science and Machine Learning, considering ETH Zurich represents one of the world's most prestigious universities. Thus I intend to challenge myself by taking classes in Data Science, statistics, and machine learning at ETH Zurich, therefore building a solid foundation in my knowledge regarding these subjects.
Besides my educational experiences, where I have performed very well, as shown in my resume, I have relevant experience both professionally and through hobby projects. Alongside my studies, I currently work in XXX as a Quality Assurance consultant, where I perform continuous testing and analysis of new technical functionalities in software connected to audio devices. By debugging complex problems such as software defects, bugs, functionality issues, and output errors, I have gained valuable experience working on real-world software. I also have a portfolio of various hobby projects, e.g., a project on statistical modeling of Covid-19 vaccination coverage and effect in XXX, where I utilized MATLAB and statistical methods. Additionally, I have created a Java application that helps the user track weight and calories consumed with the help of a MySQL database and the FoodData Central API. It is also worth mentioning that I have taken a course on Introduction to Machine Learning and Artificial Intelligence at XXX, which introduced me to Python and further expanded my interest in the subject. I think that my accumulated experience makes me fit for studies at ETH Zurich, even though I know that the level of study is very high. I see this as a challenge that can help me grow to my greatest potential.
ETH Zurich is a natural choice for me because of its rigorous academic standards, extensive research capabilities, and roster of highly regarded faculty members, but I also have a personal connection to Zürich. Namely, my big brother and his family are currently situated in Zürich, and I would very much like to see them more often. It is one bullet point in the long list of why I would be fit for exchange studies at ETH Zurich. Beyond the classroom, a few of my interests are football, working out, listening to podcasts, and traveling with friends.
I am particularly keen to study at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zürich because of the reputation of excellence in the concerned fields, the alluring landscapes of Switzerland, and the wish to spend more time with my brother and his family. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
XXXHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,809 
4780 The student has written an effective personal statement, which disqualifies this paper as a statement of purpose. It is disqualified for only one reason, there is no actual purpose being discussed in the essay. It never went beyond qualifiers, which is why it is more of a personal statement than anything else.
my future career would be in Data Science
This should have been the sentence that would have introduced the specific reasons for the studies and the eventual career goal. Data Science is such a broad field that the student is obviously not familiar enough with what this new field of computer science covers. Being a current undergraduate, he has surely been exposed to various fields that could lead to a more data science specific profession. He has to pick the profession and explain what his purpose is for choosing that particular area.
Alongside that, he may strengthen his purpose through references in his current professional career and relevant academic undertakings. The focus however, should be on the final outcome for the studies. What pushed this interest? How was it honed and developed prior to the masters interest? Would he say that he has a clear career purpose for this line of study? If so what?
The reason for wishing to study in Zurich should not heavily reference the fact that the student has family living there. It makes him sound like he will be more interested in staying as a tourist than as an academic. He should balance the personal reason with far more qualified professional and academic considerations. In reality, the essay does not reference these aspects effectively in this presentation. Yes, it is part of the purpose, but the way it is presented here does not follow an academic purpose for studies. He is not even familiar with the university and course curriculum he will be following should be be admitted to the program.
