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Statement of Purpose for MBA finance, an operation manager in a restaurant


kencao83 1 / 2  
Apr 7, 2010   #1
I am a foreign student so spelling error and grammar check are greatly appreciated!! I need advises and suggestion.

Thank you very much in advance!!

I am a business management graduate working as an operation manager in a dining restaurant. My responsibilities are hiring staff, making work schedules, overseeing all operation including preparation of food, taking care of supplies...This job has taught me the invaluable skills to lead, manage and collaborate effectively with people. During this time, I start to love restaurant industry and thinking to get more into it. That thought has become an ambition which is to open and manage my own restaurant. I started to ask myself: "what does it take to do it?" "Finance" the very first answer that pops out in my mind because I understand that Finance is very important for every business success and it is what I am lacking knowledge on. I feel strongly that it is necessary to equip myself with a good set of quantitative and analytical skills to draw a good business plan, to tackle advanced problems and, if possible, to advance the analytical approaches to financial management. This motivation greatly drives me to pursue an MBA education in finance.

My father always wanted to be a successful business man but his dream never come true because of my country's changing regime system and the economy has gone down at that time. My father put all his dream, hopes on his son and wish that one day I could pursue his dream. That inspiration has been following me every day as I am working so hard to accomplish it. I have learned to be my own boss, I am passionate about what I am doing, and it is the time in my life where I would like to take the next step. I understand that establishing and successfully running a business in a competitive market is not an easy task. It requires specific knowledge of operating procedures, regulations, HR skills, and so on, apart from profitable market strategy. To achieve my goal, I would like widen my knowledge and potential in areas of financial strategies and global corporate financial operations. As more businesses reach the global stage, it is crucial to have a thorough foundation of international business. For that reason, I also want to learn how to deal with business people from different countries, how trade occurs across national boundaries, and how to analyze financial market trend, which are essential knowledge to make a business successful.

Part time employment since August 2008 as an operation manager with XXXX Restaurant, a dining restaurant and lounge, has been a rewarding experience. I am managing twenty-one employees to meet the sale and to ensure a positive dining experience to every guest. During the failing of the economic, I helped the restaurant to maintain by applying new strategies such as offering happy hours, putting new foods to the menu, negotiating with supplier... As a result, customer and sale have increased significantly. With the experiences and background serving as anchors, and the extension in education from the MBA Finance program, I am positive that one day, I will be able to run my own restaurant and perhaps, develop it into a restaurant chain.

The MBA Finance program is an excellent opportunity for me to earn the necessary skills and knowledge, that not only to strongly stand in the challenging business world, but also fulfill my father's dream, the dream that has once died. Moreover, I am looking forward to build long-lasting networks with my professors and fellow students as well as local business networks. As you read this statement, I hope that you can see my eager of being a student of your university, a university that has made well reputation to the public. I am also positive that diligence and creativity in my studies and work will produce a greatest experience in the Graduate program. Please take me into your consideration, and give me an opportunity to study and earn my MBA degree here in the XXXX University.

wiggie 1 / 9  
Apr 8, 2010   #2
I think you should focus more on your skills. What I find good about the essay is sticking to a theme: the dream your father had and that has been transferred to you. Even though this is the theme it shouldn't be the strongest selling point. Try to sell yourself more, as you did in the third paragraph.

I would structure it like this: start with your father's dream, the problems in you country, etc. then go on to your dream and your aspirations in financial management. Then you can go on and state what you did and what you learned and how you contributed. After that you can say why you chose the institution etc.

Overall try to make shorter sentences.

here are some corrections regarding language in the 2nd paragraph:
My father always wanted to be a successful businessman. Unfortunately the unstable political situation in xxxx has had a great impact on the economy and he was unable to start the enterprise. Now that things are better, I want to live the dream my father never realised. It is this inspiration which keeps me going and I work hard in order to accomplish it.
OP kencao83 1 / 2  
Apr 8, 2010   #3
Thx Wiggie.. I am revising it
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Apr 9, 2010   #4
During this time, I started to love the restaurant industry and think to get about getting more into involved with it. That thought has become an ambition, which is to open and manage my own restaurant. I started to ask myself: "W hat does it take to do it?" "Finance" is the very first answer that pops out in my comes to mind, because I understand that Finance is very important for every business success and it is what I am lacking knowledge on.

Part time My employment since August 2008 as an operations manager with XXXX Restaurant a dining restaurant and lounge, has been a rewarding experience taught me about ________, ________, and __________. I am managing twenty-one employees to meet the...

Very impressive!!
OP kencao83 1 / 2  
Apr 9, 2010   #5
Thank you very much Kevin!


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