Please let me know if there is anything can be improved w.r.t. the style and composition of my personal statement below - thank you!
pursuing MSc to enhance career prospects
Whilst job-hunting post graduation, I discovered that a large number of software development work that is done these days has to do with machine learning. When interviewing for such a position recently, I took a test that showed just how lacking my knowledge was. The role was at a company that used machine learning to predict faults in wind turbines. As I researched the topic on various papers on the subject, I was intrigued by the techniques used to tackle the problem. Although I'd had a module on AI as part of my undergraduate studies, I now believe my education in this field is far from over.
Taking part in software development projects at University has allowed me to develop skills in creating databases, managing authentication and creating reactive, visually pleasing applications. I've also participated in projects involving analogue and digital electronics, giving me an understanding of embedded programming. These projects allowed me to develop skills related to interfacing a microprocessor with various peripherals using communications protocols like SPI, I2C and UART. In addition to this, I have also had some experience in industry. My master's research was completed at the University of ABC, where I developed a command-line tool for counting the number of anomalous particles on the surface of semiconductor wafers. During a previous industrial placement, I interned for a bespoke software developer that specialised in contract costing applications. There, I developed a cross-platform mobile application that implemented some of the functionality of their desktop app. When I have some free time, I maintain a Github account that hosts some personal projects. These projects are the result of my interest in various topics related to programming. Through constant use in these various professional and hobby contexts, I have become proficient in several programming languages including Python, Java and C.
Although these varied experiences have given me a general understanding of software engineering principles, I would like to nonetheless specialise in data analytics. To this end, the subjects offered under this course interest me. In particular, I think that Machine learning for Data Analytics would be an ideal starting point for me to learn about the different algorithms used in solving problems with large datasets. Furthermore, I am also very interested in the research project in collaboration industrial partners. Having worked in the software development industry myself and having contributed constructively to the companies I've worked for, I'm confident I will be able to do so here as well.
In short, I wish to pursue this MSc in order to enhance my career prospects - there are increasingly many interesting and emerging applications that use big data technologies to solve problems. I think this will be the norm in the future, at least for large scalable projects, so it would be beneficial for me to study them. It is my belief that a Master's degree in Big Data will prepare me to step into my career in this innovative and modern field.@jayathungek
Hi there. Thanks for coming to the site! I hope that this feedback of mine will give you a better idea on how to improve your writing. Don't hesitate to approach and ask us if you have any more questions.
Generally, I appreciate the flow of writing that you have simply because you have quite an extensive grasp of the language, which makes it then easier to comprehend the rest of the text. Despite of this fact, I also still think that you can still improve your writing especially if we were to discuss the general organization of the text. What this typically pertains to is definitely the fact that you were still unable to build-up the reasons why you really have passion for the field - a trait that I feel as though is overlooked when discussing applications and personal statements. In this regard, try to create a briefing on what initially created your interested in the field because this will be what will foster that attitude and reverence in totality.
The conclusion should also be improved. Rather than focusing entirely on why this field is one that will be scaled in the future, I think that you should have also opted to explain things from your perspective - on what you can contribute beyond what it can give to you. Showing that you will be a valuable part of the university is, after all, truly critical to establish a more productive perception for you.
