Hi everyone !
I would appreciate your evaluation on my personal statement required for a MSc application in Data Science.
Information available on the University's website :
You should also use your personal statement to outline your motivation for your chosen area of study. Try to answer questions such as:
Why are you interested in studying at Edinburgh?
Why have you chosen this particular programme?
If you are studying for career development, what are your career plans and how will your studies support these?
If you have any other relevant experience, for example paid or voluntary work experience or additional qualifications not stated elsewhere, then please include this information in your personal statement, or you can add it to the "Relevant knowledge/training skills" field in the application form.
Your personal statement should be no more than 3,500 characters (approximately 500 words) in length and should be written in formal English, using appropriate grammar and punctuation.
The word count of current version is 620 words. I would like to know how could I reduce them to 500 words and if there are any points that need improvement.
Thank you in advance.
Personal Statement - fascinated by data science
It was about a year ago when I realized that Data Science is the field of study that truly fascinates me. During the introductory lecture of the Data Mining Techniques course our professor vividly illustrated the importance of Machine Learning with a number of real-world examples. He mentioned, among other things, speech recognition used by virtual assistants, text classification used by Google's search engine and image recognition in surveillance systems. This very first lecture initially sparked my interest in Data Science. Throughout this intriguing course I was able to expose myself to some basic techniques of Data Mining and Machine Learning. In the meantime, due to my great eagerness to learn more, I spent many hours reading relevant articles and watching explanatory videos addressing topics on data acquisition, processing and analysis. By the end of the semester, I had concluded that, upon completing my undergraduate studies, pursuing a Master's degree would enable me to broaden my horizon to the amazing world of Data Science.
My undergraduate study at Department of X at the University of Y offered me the opportunity of acquiring both sound theoretical knowledge and strong practical skills. More precisely, I developed a well-rounded understanding of the Computer Science field by taking courses, such as data structures, operating systems and object oriented programming. Participating in various group projects helped me acquire solid collaboration and communication skills along with the ability to handle multiple deadlines simultaneously. Furthermore, our curriculum included a broad range of fundamental courses related to mathematics, like calculus, linear algebra and statistics.
With respect to my specialization in Data and Knowledge Management, I have undertaken courses that endowed me with knowledge about database indexing and query optimization as well as search algorithms in AI problems. Currently, I am working on my thesis focusing on the challenging areas of automatic summarization and sentiment analysis. Collaborating with the National Reasearch Centre "<name>" has enabled me to deepen my knowledge in a broad range of text processing techniques as well as gain valuable experience in researching and academic writing.
After comparing many different programs available from Universities across the United Kingdom, I believe that the MSc in Data Science offered by the University of Edinburgh aligns perfectly with my professional aspirations. Courses such as optimization methods for big data problems and reinforcement learning will teach me modern approaches on solving data-driven problems while database systems and applied databases will equip me with solid knowledge on efficient data management and storage. I am positive that the unique combination of courses focusing both on machine learning and databases will allow me to develop versatile skills.
The well-structured curriculum will help me lay the foundations for a successful career as a Data Scientist. After my graduation, I plan on seeking a job in the industry, preferably in an established company in the retail or the banking sector. I would love to see myself to be an integral part of a successful team of people. Besides, working in a place where I can put my acquired skills and knowledge into practice has always been one of my long term goals.
I look forward to attending the University Of Edinburgh, one of the most renowned universities worldwide. Its Informatics School offers a high-quality Data Science program while various Research Centres and Institutes are conducting groundbreaking research in the field. Contributing to the School through my knowledge, skills and enthusiasm would be a great honour for me. Additionally, becoming part of Edinburgh's vibrant student community is a great way to meet new people, discuss and exchange ideas with them. Taking everything into consideration, I wholeheartedly believe that continuing my studies in this institution will be a great investment in my future.
[Contributor] - / 135 80
Great job on your essay. I appreciate your usage of anecdotes to expound on the intent of your application. I think that you will go a long way with this.
I would only recommend that you could expound on why you have chosen this country. You had already cited a few reasons why the university is the best option for you individually. You can add on this through mentioning why the United Kingdom is your option for the program. You may even link your arguments here on what this country has to offer when it comes to your specialization or field. Are there, for instance, companies that you admire that are based in this country that make it better for your professional exposure to the program?
In addition, I would also recommend that you put specific details as to your future aspirations. I know that these are not necessarily mentioned to be requirements when you're still applying for the program (not in the list of questions to be tackled) - but adding these details would enable the evaluators to recognize that you are willing to go above and beyond to be part of their specific program. If you are aiming to be noticed, this will enhance what they know about you. Talk about how their courses and the program itself can help you become better in the field overall. Discuss why you fit into their academic environment.
The more specific and in-depth you are, the better it will be for your chances of being noticed.
Thank you very much for your response.
I agree with your suggestions. However, in case I proceed in those additions, I am not sure how the extended length of my statement will be evaluated. The fact that they have mentioned a specific 500-word limit on their website makes me uncertain about it.