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Statement of objective for Masters in Mechanical Engineeirng at a US University


Zer0freeze 1 / 3  
Oct 2, 2011   #1
Hi,

A university i want to apply for in the US want to me explain why I'm a good candidate for graduate school and also i should describe why i wish to attend graduate school, what i would like to study, and any research experience you have. Describe one or more accomplishments I were particularly proud of that suggest that i will succeed in your chosen area of research.

Please tell me if this essay is enough, what should be added, deleted. Any comments, suggestions will be welcome

Why I Decide to Pursue a M.Sc. Degree in MIT in the United States

A year ago, when I announced that I had decided to pursue a M.Sc. degree in the field of Mechanical Engineering at MIT in the United States, many of my close friends expressed their utter surprise and objection. According to their judgment, I have been proceeding along a successful journey of life. There is no necessity for me to embark on a course of life with filled with self-inflicted pains and difficulties. Indeed, as a talented young student studying at a major university in Egypt, I possess a spirit of competition and discovery that many of my colleagues do not possess and this was clear when one of my professors nominated me for this year's Assistant Lecturer in The Canadian International College in Egypt. If I get a M.Sc. degree from any of the major Egyptian universities, certainly it will be easier. Compared with this, my academic pursuit in the United States would be much more difficult: home sickness and long separation from my family members.

Nevertheless, I believe that my decision is correct. Out of my serious reflections, I have arrived at the following realizations. First, I can never develop myself into a first-rate scholar if I do not obtain a M.Sc. degree from a first-rate university. Throughout my school life, I have been endeavoring to be the top student of my class. To develop myself into a first-rate scholar is currently my most fervent aspiration.

Three years ago, I began working on my senior project which was "Design and Analysis of a Solar Ornithopter" in Energy Engineering in Helwan University, Cairo. At that time, I made a small presentation about Solar Ornithopters "Flapping-wing aircraft" and its importance in the future in the presence of my supervisor Prof. Alaa El-Butch, the Chairman of Mechanical Design Department, Mataria Faculty of Engineering, Helwan University. He was very proud with my ideas and we began working on this project from that time. Indeed, we found many difficulties at the beginning to get relevant information about our project in our country.

In order to better study the flapping wing flight, we have worked for months with a Japanese researcher - Dr. Kakuta - to develop a light-weight ornithopter. It is capable of flying in two phases; flapping and gliding, carrying a small (20 gram) payload. It is designed to imitate a pteranodon flight which is the largest flying creature that ever lived on Earth. This project covered the design process of the mechanical systems, and a numerical model of flapping membrane wing aero-dynamics. A conceptual design of solar powered UAVs for continuous flight was also presented. Finally, our project is one of the major research projects and our aerial vehicle propelled by flapping wings "ornithopter" is considered as one of the World's lightest weight ornithopters capable of flapping and gliding as far as we know.

While I was helping my supervisor to get relevant technical literature, I regretted to find that some researchers in the United States had already undertaken similar research a couple of years before that and a large number of research papers had already been published. We were in contact with a graduate student at MIT; his name is Zack Jackowski, who got his Masters in Mechanical Engineering and was a member of MIT Robot Locomotion Group. Zack's undergraduate project was "Design and Construction of an Autonomous Ornithopter" and what we were doing here in our project was simply a very similar to what Zack had already done two years ago! I believe that if I were at MIT working on this project, we would have developed something splendid together.

Moreover, to become familiar with the Energy researches being done at MIT, I researched the laboratories and Courses that are offered now and I found that I studied many of these courses in my undergraduate studies. I took a look on the academic background of some professors in Energy Science and Engineering field and made contacts with Professor Ahmed F. Ghoniem, to get a deeper view of the study in MIT and specifically in the field of Energy Sciences.

Massachusetts Institute of Technology in The United States would be my choice because only in such a country was it possible for me to perform the first-rate research and become a first-rate scientist.

On the other hand, only by pursuing my Ph.D. degree overseas will I be able to improve the living conditions of my country and allow my family members to live a better life. They fully support me in my efforts to seek further education in America. I also think that studying at MIT will give me the opportunity to study in Energy fields vital to Egypt's development and will prepare me for future leadership positions in Egypt.

During college, I was the Secretary - General of the Scientific Committee in the Federation of Students (Students' Union) at Helwan University in Egypt. I became the Secretary - General of the Scientific Committee by becoming active in the scientific committee as a member, by attending councils and general meetings, and finally I won in the elections held every year. I tried to represent students both within the college and externally, including on local and national issues. I was responsible for providing a variety of services to students by providing them with internships in multinational corporations, inviting Human Resourses Managers in famous companies to give seminars and lectures about Coming up with unordinary solutions for everyday problems, Presenting ideas through telling stories, Managing and Expanding one's Energy, Time Management, Creative Thinking, Business Writing,..Etc.

Our University team participated in the International Micro Aerial Vehicles Conference and Competition 2011 (IMAV 2011) that was held 't Harde, The Netherlands, and organized by TUDELFT in the period between September 12th and Septemeber 15th, 2011, and the people there were impressed with our intensive work as undergraduate project. There I was able to expand my network of contact, and meet people from different countries with different cultures, share knowledge with major universities worldwide. I'm also giving seminars about the technology of flapping unmanned aerial vehicles and its importance in the future.

Upon my return to Egypt, I will demonstrate a commitment to public service and the advancement of Egyptian society for the betterment of the people of Egypt. I will also be willing to provide consultancy or advice, or participate in public service in the field of Energy Engineering.
OP Zer0freeze 1 / 3  
Oct 2, 2011   #2
Why no one replied me ? :(
Leah_Writer - / 46 4  
Oct 5, 2011   #4
Hello!
I think you have a fantastic command of English and your vocabulary is especially strong. Your description of your current work is very good, and you make a good case in terms of why you want to go to MIT specifically. It's great that you're already in touch with a graduate student there, as well. One thing that I think you could add to is the final paragraph. Don't forget, the last paragraph is really where you're making your final case, so it's a great place to reiterate the reasons why MIT is a good fit for you and restate how much you really want to go there.

One other thing I would do is to check over your grammar and sentence structure. Since you're an international student, a couple of mistakes in punctuation are ok, especially since you have such a wonderful vocabulary, but it is always worth looking over it one more time.

Good luck in your admissions process!
OP Zer0freeze 1 / 3  
Oct 5, 2011   #5
Hi Leah, I really appreciate your nice words! Waiting for your comments and any suggestions for the final statement!
ubiquitous 1 / 3  
Oct 6, 2011   #6
You work description is great. In my opinion I think you should add something as to why you want to study in MIT [specifically] probably in the last paragraph. All the best with your application :)
xintianyouxing 1 / 2  
Oct 19, 2011   #7
I think your essay is great, and I think you should add your plan during master work into your essay, that makes it stronger.


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