Could you help me to revise my SOP? Thank you very much!!!!!
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Born in a wealthy province in China-Zhejiang province, I was curious about the gap in wealth between Eastern and Western China. Is it only the geographical factors that cause the disparity? Or perhaps other factors are the cause? With this question in mind, I chose *** University located in the west of China to get my undergraduate degree, hoping I can find the answer. Inspired by this curiosity, I spent several vacations visiting the villages in Sichuan province, representative of the western province in China. I saw some poor villages with bad traffic systems, terrible medical and health care, nearly autarky economies, and low education achievement among the residents. Conversely, I saw some prosperous villages which boomed from tourism. However, without any systematical economics theory, I could not provide a convincing answer to this disparity problem.
Fortunately, I was able to travel to Beijing and attend a semester long series of economics lectures at Peking University where I was exposed to many new ideas in macroeconomics, microeconomics, international economics and game theory. After one semester's study, my interest became broader, not only the initial question of what causes the disparity in different places, but also about the various policy issues in China, the international trade of China, game theory, etc. Moreover, I was captivated by the professors' profound knowledge, critical thinking, and wished that one day I could become one of them. Being able to research the social economic problems, and teaching the most talented university students became my goal. I am confident that *** can provide me with the kind of educational environment to realize my potential to make my dream come true.
I am well prepared on how to become a qualified and excellent candidate to attain a PhD. My preparation includes four aspects: a strong background in mathematics; research experiences in international economics; and teaching assistantships in various courses. Mathematics has always been my favorite subject, and I always performed very well in the Mathematics class. As my transcript shows, I have made an A in every mathematics course I have taken. This strong background has helped me in many of my classes. Once in my Applied Finance class, our group was the only group that could work out a computer program to select stocks because of my contribution in deducing the essential equation and writing the program. I am also very comfortable with rigorous mathematical proofs, like material cover in courses such as Real Analysis and Stochastic Theory. My talent in Mathematics gives me an absolute advantage in studying and doing research in economics. I am confident this will help me do very well in pursuing an Economics PhD at ***.
Because of my excellent ability in searching Chinese Industries Data and Import and Export Data, I earned an opportunity to be a research assistant for Professor *** in the Institute of China and Global Economy at Peking University. What we focused on was China's new role in World Trade, which is a hot topic that was proposed by Professor *** and Professor ****. The import and export in China both have increased significantly in recent years, although the subprime crisis had negatively affected its growth in year 2008, it still had a strong recovery in year 2009. ***(2006) and ****, ****(2008) both measured China's relative sophistication and their work inspired to research a similar subject. In our work, we used the firm-level data of Chinese companies and Data Envelopment Analysis method to calculate the Total Factor Productivity in various manufacturing industries. Based on what we calculated, we analyzed the source of the technology improvement and provided policy implementation to enhance the level of sophistication. This kind of experience of choosing a research topic of my interest, searching for useful data and analyzing the results trained my rigorous critical analysis ability and technical capabilities in econometrics.
The experience of being a teaching assistant developed my professional skills with professors and communication and public speaking ability with students. On a weekly basis I helped professors prepare literature and answer keys for class. I also helped the students to form study groups, and helped them solve their course problems. Once when I prepared the answer key for the homework of Money and Banking, I found that I could not deduce an equation if I used the method in the textbook. So I checked the original paper, and found that the method used to deduce the equation was different from that in the textbook. In their homework, nearly all students used the method in the textbook and did not deduce the correct answer. As a teaching assistant, I felt an obligation to teach the students the correct thing, so in the supplemental TA class I explained to them the correct way to answer the problem and the difference between the method in the original paper and that in the textbook. I enjoyed the process of communicating with the professors and the students, and all of these experiences enhanced my confidence to be a professor at university some day.
The life and research experiences I have had, combined with my knowledge in economics, have prepared me for a wonderful start towards becoming an outstanding researcher. *** is the most suitable choice for me to get PhD training because of its rigorous coursework, global reputation, and strong faculty in International Economics. I am looking forward to discussing the interesting economic topics with my preeminent and patient professors and my excellent classmates at the ***.
For the last paragraph I would try to cite specific Professors and research being done at the institution that you find admirable or attractive. Most good institutions have "rigorous coursework, global reputation, and strong faculty" and they know that already. Try to find something unique about the program that says that the school is special and you want to go there because of it.
This essay in great in many ways. I have all good things to say about it. The most impressive thing is the content -- the stuff you have already done. You present this very nicely, and I think you'll achieve everything you want to achieve! It is unlikely that the admissions person who reads this will be someone who can write so well. It is very professional.
Here is my only criticism: it is too professional! What about letting them know your motives, what brings you satisfaction? This is very general: "discussing the interesting economic topics..." and this is very general: "becoming an excellent researcher..."
You should let them know about the nonprofit organization you want to start or the future you have planned for your family. I expect that school is very easy for you, so do good things with the success you're about to achieve! :-)
I agree that this is a very well written piece... i am definitely convinced of your passion for the subject.
I did find this one minor problem though:
"My preparation includes four aspects: a strong background in mathematics; research experiences in international economics; and teaching assistantships in various courses."
You have only mentioned three aspects in that sentence, so you may want to either include another one, or change "four" to "three."
All the Best!
