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Statement Of Purpose (SOP) for industrial engineering (mtszfa) - to candidate for a Master's degree

mtszfa 1 / 2  
Apr 28, 2019   #1

inspired to be an industrial engineer

Initially, It would appreciate you to spend time on my SOP. I want some professional individuals to check my SOP and investigate it grammatically and coherently.

Statement Of Purpose
"The scientist explores what is; the engineer creates what has not been." - Theodore Von Karman.
This was something which inspired me to be an industrial engineer. everything goes back to the time when I was a child. Indeed, I gained an interest in engineering from my father. He was doing everything in the best way, in the lowest time and cost. I really liked to be similar to him in the future.

Since my early years of education, I have always been a keen and curious observer of the happenings around me. Physics, chemistry, mathematics and programming absorb my attention from the first days of high school in which I usually was in top 10 of high school students. According to my performance and a strong determination to enter the practical world, I took a nationwide test for entrance in the field of engineering. Admitted in an Industrial Engineering course for undergraduate opened a new perspective of world of industry in front of my eyes which could teach me huge number of concepts and engineering methods to handle the activities. Actually my interest for Industrial Engineering began in my early years of undergraduate studies when I visited the IKCO industries (Iran Khodro Company- the biggest manufacturer of vehicle in the middle East). The sophisticated processes and numerous activities which took place in this industry with utmost coordination among them, the high tech technologies used in vehicle manufacturing and also manufactured products with high precision instilled me to follow up my ambitions in this industry.

So, I spent a lot of time to build up my engineering skills and equipped myself by learning various designing software such as CATIA and Solid works, statistics software including SPSS , Graphic software like as Photoshop, information management software such as SAP and the other routine industrial engineering software including MS office and MSP to deal with the real life Engineering Problems. Simultaneously, I did a numbers of academic projects during my undergraduate course such as Work-study projects, factory layout project, project control projects and Transportation and traffic control project which instilled me a strong motivation to pursue a higher study in industrial engineering. Besides, I am interested in learning other academics issues and I like to solve the occurring problems with my knowledge assistance which I have earned so far.

I feel I was so lucky that I could get to build a career in something which I was enjoying doing. Industrial engineering taught me to have a systematic mind. Initially, think about the events in advance, then make a decision after planning and eventually act in the best way. I believe that a new Master's degree along with postgraduate scientific research and nearly about 10 years work experiences in vehicle industries can open the new perspectives and opportunities in front of me to analyze the events more scientifically and accurately.

I believe that the environment of University of ... not only will help me to achieve my goals but also provide an opportunity to develop a multifaceted personality. It will also help me to realize all aspects of my talent, such that I will be able to share my knowledge and experiences to this society completely. The faculty of industrial engineering in the University of ... has a reputation for being a leader in engineering, encouraging research, creativity and leadership. When I think to myself as a University of ... 's graduated engineer, I see myself as a successful, professional engineer who will able to overcome any obstacles by applying scientific techniques with social and humanitarian responsibility which I have gained through studying years.

It is fascinating to me to explore all the opportunities that university holds for me . I believe that the University of ... offers the highest level of education and endless opportunities which will help me to use up all my talents and abilities in my future professionally.

Moreover, the School of Industrial Engineering at University of ... with its pioneering research in some scopes such as Supply Chain Management, Production Scheduling and Inventory Management will cater my interests ; in addition, existence of favorable learning atmosphere is the other feature of the University that I particularly find strongly appealing. I am confident that my experience in industry (specially my job position as head of logistics and material flow department in one of the biggest manufacturers of vehicle parts), personal traits such as inquisitiveness, team management and passion towards my goal, will render me as a strong candidate for a Master's degree in Industrial Engineering.

Quality Graduate courses taught by top-notch professors will equip me to achieve my ultimate goal of establishing myself at the forefront in continuous development of an Industry. I am looking forward to a long and mutually beneficial relationship with your department.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Apr 28, 2019   #2
I like how you opened up your essay through a quotation. This is an innovative way to begin your composition. However, I would recommend that you should be wary of the way that you construct your sentences. I have noticed that you have issues when it comes to the forms of words, transitions, and the general formatting of the sentences. To evade this issue, you can always seek for proofreading; or if you cannot, you may also opt to create simpler sentences that will help you in the long-run before you proceed to using complex lines.

I would also recommend that you bear in mind that it would be more organic if you do not start your sentences with the qualifier/intensifier so. While this is acceptable in conversational English, written/academic essays should not utilize this as it is inappropriate. Try to seek alternatives that can carry a similar expression; or simply try to start the paragraph naturally.

If you can become more cautious with the way you construct sentences, you will be able to construct sentences more effectively. Remember that efficiency, creativity, and simplicity are all noteworthy skills when you are writing. Trying to be consistent with forms is also essential.

Once you get these technical aspects out of the way, I would recommend that you try expounding more on why you have chosen this particular institution. Discuss why you have chosen the university, what courses you are particular excited about, and how this will all contribute to your long-term career goals. The more specific you are, the better it will be.

Best of luck.
OP mtszfa 1 / 2  
Apr 29, 2019   #3
dear Maria
Thanks a lot for your great feedback. You mean that if i replace your proposed sentences instead of what it has been written, it will be more effective?

for more private investigation out of this website atmosphere can i get your email address? More reviews need thread to be Urgent.
OP mtszfa 1 / 2  
Apr 30, 2019   #4
More reviews need thread to be Urgent.

You mean that if i replace your proposed sentences instead of what it has been written, it will be more effective?

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