Electronic technology has developed exponentially in the last half-century. Computers make use of ICs, making vacuum tubes and transistors relics of the past. Wireless communication has shaped the course of world history, from the invention of the radio to its omnipresence in daily life. Improved access to the internet due to advances in cellular technology has made the world more connected. My appreciation for the improvements in communication technology which have influenced this paradigm shift and my interest in tinkering with electronics led me to major in Electronics and Communication for my undergraduate degree.
During my undergraduate studies, I discovered that in addition to Antenna and VLSI design, engineering mathematics was a subject I found remarkably interesting. This interest was channeled to participate in a lot of inter-college math competitions where I was able to win prizes in math olympiads. I was the co-founder of the Math Club of Sathyabama University and the first editor of the University magazine "Insight". Due to my initiative and leadership abilities, I was appointed as the event manager for Technosummit 2013, a national level technical symposium organized by Sathyabama University.
As part of my academic project, I developed a device which would measure two vital health parameters: pulse rate and temperature. Through my research, I came to understand that an IR digital sensor to measure pulse rate has an error rating of ą7BPM. For an accurate reading of body temperature, only in-ear sensors are reliable. Remedying the lack of sensors which can accurately and comfortably measure body vitals is one of my career objectives.
After graduating, I worked on two projects. The first project was for DB Systems Inc., established market leaders in navigation systems and coastal surveillance equipment. The aim of the project was to retrofit the existing communication systems of old ships of the Indian Navy, increasing packet size and amplifying the speed of data transmission. In addition to simulating the network model, I developed a transceiver capable of supporting the increased packet size.
My next project was with NoviOrbis Technologies an enterprise that builds technology solutions for businesses from diverse verticals. The project involved developing a low-cost home automation solution which would be layered over an existing control system. By eliminating the need for multiple Wi-Fi modules to reduce fabrication costs, I created a solution prototype linking a wifi router and a low-cost control device connected to all electrical house fixtures and demonstrated wireless control. For the router and control device, I designed an antenna which was a single band WiFi, a half-wavelength at 2.4 GHz just 5 cm in length.
The experience that I acquired over the course of these projects has left with a desire to further my education in my chosen field. A Master's in Electronics and Communication engineering is essential to fulfilling my long term career objective of developing products that make use of smart sensors to improve the quality of life. The graduate program at Texas A&M University is an excellent fit for me due to its focus on providing students with practical experience. The work on developing sensors in the Analog and Mixed signal center is another reason to choose TAMU. The possibility of working under XX whose experience in developing sensors for companies like Texas Instruments and IBM will be invaluable in achieving my goal of building products that rely on smart sensors. In conclusion, the course content and research opportunities at this university will clear my path to my goal of making the world a more connected place with smarter technology.
Hi Andrew! Welcome to EF. Was there a prompt or instructions for what to include in this essay? It would be very helpful to see that so that I know what the admissions committee is looking for from your essay.
I'm not sure about your introductory paragraph. I don't think it adds anything to your statement because it's not about you. It has a very academic feel to it and for me, someone who isn't passionate or interested in this subject, it's pretty boring. Maybe instead you can discuss how you became interested in this field- how you became interested in improving computer technology, its shift, or how you started tinkering with electronics. I think that's stronger and more focused on you, which is what a statement of purpose should be.
I think overall, you're trying to present a comprehensive view or yourself, but by doing that, you're glossing over each of these events, activities, and projects. You're losing the opportunity to really discuss them in detail by trying to include too much. I think it's fine to include a lot of experiences- I know in my SOP for grad school I talked about at least 4 experiences I had, but I was able to discuss each one in detail. In my opinion, discussing fewer projects in more detail gives the reader more insight into who you are when you can discuss what you did, how you contributed, and how it affected you/ what you learned. Just briefly touching on each project makes your essay read more like a resume.
Personally, I would choose less of the projects/ experiences and use that space to be much more detailed. You want them to really see your qualities, and saying you did these things is great, but it doesn't show them your strengths. Which of these had the largest impact on you? Which one did you learn the most from? Which one really affirmed your interest in this field? That is what you should be writing about, and maybe thinking about those questions can help you narrow it down.
It's fine to say that you worked on all of these projects; however, the way you have done so does not give the opportunity for the admissions committee to see who you are as a person. What are your skills? What are your strengths? What are your plans? You mention smart sensors. Discuss more about that if that's a serious goal of yours. How do you want to make the world more connected? Describe that!
Your grammar and punctuation look pretty great to me- can't spot anything that needs editing there. I mostly focused on the content and getting the right message across, though, so it's possible I missed something.
Thank you, Katheryn, for your feedback. I'll incorporate the changes you've mentioned. A prompt wasn't mentioned.
Hi, Katheryn. I've rewritten most of my essay. The first three paragraphs are rewritten. I've removed the fifth paragraph which contained my second project to allow for me to explain my other project in detail.
My interest in electronics first piqued when I received a remote-control car for my 11th birthday. At the time I was captured by the autobiography of Nikola Tesla that I had just read. The first line in his book "the progressive development of man is vitally dependent on invention" instilled in me a keen aspiration to be an inventor. Overcome by my fascination for innovation in electronics I dismantled my toy car the very same day that I received it, carefully removed the circuit board and began designing my first invention. After a few trials, I succeeded in building a motorized boat complete with hand-made oars and a rudder. This achievement ignited in me the urge to invent and re-invent leading me to devote long hours after school towards experimenting with whatever gadgets I could lay my hands on. In high school I worked with an Arduino board and developed a robot that could indicate environmental changes in humidity and light intensity utilizing two LEDs.
Following what was only natural I went on to pursue my undergraduate studies in Electronics and Communication at Sathyabama University. I discovered that in addition to Antenna and VLSI design, engineering mathematics was a subject I found particularly interesting. Applying my skills I won 5 math olympiads at inter-college events. Engineering mathematics is applied largely in every area of electronics, from antennae to VLSI design, to provide an idealised representation of complex systems. This has helped me to, understand, in depth, the working of complex electrical systems, and the parameters that can be manipulated to deliver peak efficiency.
As part of my first academic project, I developed a device which would measure two vital health parameters: pulse rate and temperature. I originally envisioned it as a device which was comfortable to use. Through my research, I came to understand that an IR digital sensor to measure pulse rate has an error rating of ą7BPM. For an accurate reading of body temperature, only in-ear sensors are reliable which reduces the comfort factor. On further research, I learnt that the solution that ensures accuracy and reduced size is the use of smart sensors with MEMS. It is a personal goal to push the limits in this nascent field, by reducing the size of components while ensuring accuracy.
After graduating, I worked on a project for DB Systems Inc., established market leaders in navigation systems and coastal surveillance equipment. The aim of the project was to retrofit the existing communication systems of old ships of the Indian Navy, increasing packet size and amplifying the speed of data transmission. Here, I simulated a temporary network to serve as a secure communication channel between two or more ships within a certain radius by linking public and private clouds. Messages in the public cloud were broadcast to all ships, ensuring simultaneous communication. Further, the private cloud facilitated confidential information exchange between any two fleet ships. To support the increased data packet size, I developed a transceiver capable of compensating for the movement of ships ensuring seamless transmission and reception. This was an incredible learning experience, as it gave me a better grasp of the concepts of wireless communication and its applications.
The experience that I acquired over the course of this project has left with a desire to further my education in my chosen field. A Master's in Electronics and Communication engineering is essential to fulfilling my long term career objective of working in the R&D department of an Industry, to push the limits of sensor design. The graduate program at Texas A&M University is an excellent fit for me due to its focus on providing students with practical experience. The ground-breaking work on developing sensors in the Analog and Mixed signal centre is another reason to choose TAMU. The possibility of working under XX whose experience in developing sensors is an added bonus. The course content and research opportunities at this university will clear my path to my goal of developing products that rely on smart sensors, specifically within the healthcare space.
Hi Andrew! Thanks for posting your newest draft for me to critique. I really like your introductory paragraph! I think it provides a great story and context for your essay. My only comments on your intro would be maybe to explain that quote a little but more. What does it mean to you? How can you live your life by that quote? I believe the second half of that quote is "It is the most important product of his creative brain," so maybe you can expand on how important you feel it is to live your life inventing. I'm not sure how important your mention of your high school accomplishment is. Since you've been to college, it's not necessary.Your college accolades are more recent and probably more important. However, if you feel it's an achievement worth mentioning to the admissions committee, than keep it.
I don't know what things like VSLI, MEMs, IR etc... stand for. I would spell it out the first time you use it, and put VLSI in parentheses. Each subsequent time you can simply say VLSI and the reader already knows exactly what you mean.
I like your third and fourth paragraphs, but they feel a little bit dry, a little bit academic to me. Maybe that's because I don't understand a lot of the things you're saying there. :) I'm not sure. But I do think it's important to write more about the effect these projects and experiences had on you- more than just explaining the experience. This is where you can really showcase who you are as a person to the admissions committee. How did you grow from these experiences? How does what you learned make you a great candidate and how will those qualities help you succeed in this program. This essay needs more YOU! You discuss your job in the navy saying you learned a lot, but what did you learn? What qualities did you improve in yourself more than just learning about wireless communication?
I think you could also improve a little bit about your goals at the end. Why is it important to you to develop these types of products?
I did spot some minor punctuation/ grammar errors but haven't included them because I focused more on content and flow. Please let me know if you'd like me to make some editing suggestions.
