Please I need your help. It's my very first time to write a Personal Statement. I know it is too long but I couldn't know which paragraph i should throw away. So please check if it's relevant to the PS parameter or not. Kindly comment, correct and rephrase if needed. Many thanks in advance.
sop writing - marketing field
Marketing is my desired field of specialization since being graduated from Faculty of Commerce. My interest grew deeper during my internship in Marketing Department at ---- Telecommunication Company through my undergraduate's years. That helped me to understand that it is the core department in every company. Also showed me how much creative and innovative a successful marketer should be. I could easily get that brainstorming and out of the box thinking are the keys of the success, and this was very interesting to me. I have seen how people are thinking and doing efforts to provide new ideas, new products and new services for both current and new customers in order to reach win-win situation -for customer and company-. I could not leave an opportunity to initiate and provide my company with new ideas that will help to enhance the communication with customers. Some of them was, add Arabic language to our website to make it easier to all customers to understand the content. And, create mobile application to make it more accessible to the customer and be updated of the information they need.
My reading passion led me to read more about Marketing and its specializations and shortly after my graduation, I have participated a course "Marketing Professional Certificate" at the American Chamber of Commerce in Egypt where I have gained more valuable knowledge in that field. Also after my hiring at ---- I have applied for Marketing course online through ALISON, which helped to update me with very supportive and useful material. My reading desire did not stop in that direction, I have read many books of self-development like some of Dale Carnegie and Steve Harvey. This obviously helped to grow my skills in many directions which supported in my personal and professional life in parallel.
When I was newly hired I was in charge to support customers based in the Upper Egypt Zone (ten governorates). And, due to the remarkable progress achieved by the branch, the number of customers had increased so two employees had been hired. I had then been assigned new responsibilities and moved to another department and my position was then assigned to someone else. Despite this change, the customers were still asking for me when visiting the office and contacting me for assistance. I convinced them to put their trust in the new handlers and assured them that they will get the highest quality service. Also, I offered all newcomers the necessary support they needed to perform their job at the highest level. I was able to use that experience and knowledge when I moved on into my new role.
Also I joined a charity that organizes food packaging and delivering to the most impoverished Egyptians located in remote areas very difficult to access. I had to use my network to help the distribution process, I instinctively got in touch with co-workers, friends and family members, to reach out as many people as possible. It was an experience that opened my eyes to a world that I was never exposed to before.
During my seven years of work at ----, I have learned the trade and adapted to challenging demands of a corporate environment. At the beginning of my work in Life Operations department, I was responsible for Direct Sales business channel only. Therefore, I did not save any efforts to add Bancassurance business channel to be operated entirely by my myself in order to improve the general business flow as it was initially centralized at Head Office. That was not easy to convince the higher management, and it took time and efforts, as they refused at first. After viewing the reports and analysis I have provided which ensures that we can start with a small area, and since they believe in my abilities, they accepted the idea as a testing phase. The satisfactory results achieved and the significant feedback, encouraged them to assign the whole zone to me. And the success carried on.
Additionally, my department is responsible for a vast amount of tasks, the massive volume of steps and conditions were more than anyone of us could handle without making mistakes. That led to time wasting and postponement of the work. So, I have initiated a project to solve this problem by gathering all tasks performed and applied by the department in one place (Business Reference). This was accepted by the higher management when presented, and I was in charge to complete it in a brief time. I immediately explained it to my team of six, assigned them the tasks, setup the targets and the deadlines. Leading the team was very challenging. First, as the youngest member of the team, it took a while to gain their acceptance. I could motivate them, keep the spirits high, and provide achievable targets and deadlines. Second, each member of the team is located in different city - so I was supervising remotely - which in itself had its own challenges. However, I could make the team succeeded, that after an internal review the company has decided to use my methodology and apply it to the whole department, for existing and newly hired staff members.
Since we live in the digital era, one owes to understand that the future of businesses growth is online, simply because: "that's where people are". So Choosing to study MSc in "Digital Marketing" at your university, seems to me the most logical option based on my previous experience and studies as well as my future plans. ---- University is my top choice as it is one of the top ranked teaching universities worldwide, and has a very inspiring academic community. This course can build the understanding of the techniques and the power of e-marketing aligned with the other influential factors in the market. Through studying consumer behavior in addition to marketing analytics and research as core modules, would be a fantastic addition to my current experience and skills. I believe it will give me strong knowledge in this field in both scientific and practical approach as it will not only help to gain the required skills but also it covers decision-making and the upcoming development in this domain.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Mariam, you certainly "threw in the kitchen sink" with this essay. It has way too much information in it that I can't figure out what essay you are really trying to write. Since this is just a personal statement, there are only 2 things that it has to accomplish. The first, is the idea behind the development of your interest in this course. From there, you need to discuss why you chose this university. Now, most people get confused when it comes to writing the personal essay because they often end up writing more information than required. When that happens, no information is left for the SOP. So what you have to do with this essay is remove the information that will work better in the SOP once you write that essay. In this instance, I can tell you which paragraphs can work for the personal statement. The portions I have you remove, you can use to draft your SOP instead. I believe you can revise the essay by using the following paragraphs: 1,2,7. As an essay presenting the growth of your interest and choice of university, you can very well just use these 3 paragraphs to represent your personal statement. This statement does not need to be too long nor overly informative. It just needs to cover the basics that you won't be able to present in the motivation letter and statement of purpose. Both of which are required essays for most universities offering MS courses.
