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The Personal Statement for USC Annenberg School, the Master of Communication Management


Mako Zhang 1 / 1  
Nov 30, 2018   #1
Hi! Thank you a lot helping me review my Personal Statement. The information below may be helpful. :)

Personal Statement essay



Why I Choose the Master of Communication Management?

China in 2018 is so different from China in 2015. Bilibili and TikTok have become cultural icons and redefined recreation in near three years. Taobao created 1000-billion-yuan trading value on November 11th in just two hours. In internet plus era, perfect marketing strategy is essential for companies to strive in such a competitive environment. I am fascinated with the magic of digital marketing, regarding Internet-related companies as my ideal employers in the future. That's why I, a human resource student, need further professional training of marketing.

But why Annenberg? Curriculum setting of CMU is unique. Besides marketing knowledge, which is more business-like, media, entertainment, and even human resource communication are contained. Consequently, it makes students able to study flexibly and diversely. Moreover, among marketing-related master programs in the US, only CMU located in California. In the high-tech center of the US, I am more likely to be an intern in big-name IT companies - such as YouTube, Facebook, and Google - and other innovative new companies. Furthermore, the powerful alumni network of Annenberg, with over half of them finally became members of Tencent, Alibaba, etc., will broaden my insights with their affluent backgrounds and increase my career opportunities as well.

The Attraction of Marketing Communication

I am interested in digital marketing and innovative internet product development. Exploring the demand of potential consumers, communicating with them, developing a creative product, and finally making profits, they are what I enjoyed most. So if fortunately admitted, I will focus on marketing communication more.

I found my passion for marketing through innovative projects. I've participated in three IT projects with students from software engineering. In 2017, I established a project developing a public welfare APP, a project management tool for NGOs. I took charge of content designing, UI designing, and marketing. To find what my consumer demand, I interview three professors who are specialized in NGO administration practice and 5 leaders of the non-profit project. After several conversations, I narrowed the content to solve real problems, not problems came from my brainstorming. More importantly, I should concern about the budget. To undermine the human resource cost, I was responsible for all tasks related to designing. Plus, I tried to contact Shanghai Volunteering Web, CYL committee of ECNU, and other smaller related NGOs for financial support.

In the beginning, all professors show suspicion toward my project. How can a student majoring in Human Resource develop an APP? Thanks to the encouragement from my mentor, we insisted practicing, gained over 9500 CNY supports from National Training Programs of Innovation and Entrepreneurship for Undergraduates and won the Silver prize in the 15th "Daxia Cup" Innovation and Entrepreneurship Competition. This fantastic experience made my career goal determinate.

Other Details about Me

My rigorous undergraduate study lays a solid foundation for my future endeavors. Majoring in Human Resource Management, I have acquired knowledge in the fields of management, especially in the art of talent management. I've gained scholarships four times, including National Scholarships. Through Marketing Principle, I got a general understanding of marketing theory and practice, and I got 96 in this course. Besides, I also selected courses, such as Python Programming, Data Analysis, and Data Mining, to gain a deeper understanding of data analysis, which becomes increasingly important for digital marketing. Finally, I managed to achieve excellent performance with a GPA of 3.84/4.00 and ranking of 2/34.

As for marketing practice, the internship holding the National Economics Challenge China Finals was a valuable experience where I understood better about "communicating with consumers". As a delegation manager, I was involved in the whole organization process of the competition, from planning to execution. To provide a satisfying experience for participants, namely competitors, their parents and the copartner Council for Economic Education (CEE), I strived to meet their needs as much as I could. For competitors, I interviewed the student delegates and met their requirements of sharing real-time competition information by setting up more photographic equipment and built shared iCloud for photo download. In terms of parents' concern about contestants' security, I approached with hotel staff to eliminate safety threats, trained escape instructions for emergency and planned for measures. For CEE, I managed to keep the theme of opening ceremony consistent with its branding. That was the first time to hold NEC in China and I felt quite honored to contribute to it.

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Did I answer all questions? Did I make some serious grammar mistakes? As a non-native speaker, I really need helps from an Enligsh expert. QAQ

Thanks in advance for your suggestions.
nisapk20 - / 2 1  
Nov 30, 2018   #2
Hi Mako Zhang, I am not an english native speaker as well but I will try my best to give some insightful comments for your PS.

1. In the fist sentence on second paragraph, I think its better to not using interrogative sentence. Maybe you can change the sentence to this following: I choose to pursue my master study in Annenberg because the curriculum setting of the program is unique. It is contain _______ which I am passionate about. (feel free to change the words if you wish :)

2. In the second prompts you said that: I am interested in digital marketing and innovative internet product development. Exploring the demand of potential consumers, communicating with them, developing a creative product, and finally making profits, they are what I enjoyed most.

In my opinion you should elaborate more on why you interested in digital marketing? Does it only because of your passion? What kind of contribution that you will bring by mastering those skills? I still didn't get the idea for why you need to pursue a master degree in communication besides it is because your passion and interest.

3. In terms of grammar, I found some ineffective sentence but I am afraid that I am not capable enough to give some comments about it. Goodluck!
OP Mako Zhang 1 / 1  
Nov 30, 2018   #3
Thanks for your advice!!! It does help!

I'll take your advice and adjust my essay. As you mentioned, "ineffective sentence" is quite a problem. I will try my best to revise my sentence in a concise, clear, and effective way.

Thanks again for your feedback!

谢谢你😘


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