struggles of an African in South Korea
A coworker recently asked me about my impressions of Korea, after having spent two years there and honestly it wasn't quite easy for me to give him a straight answer. My whole Korean experience left me with mixed feelings and it was visible through my reservations. In the rush of coffee making and ringing up customers at Starbucks where we both worked, an answer to such a question seemed like a pretty tricky exercise of acrobatic gymnastics. I wished to give an honest answer without coming off as rude or insulting to the country or its people. I, therefore, decided to write about it. I thought writing would be a better medium for expressing exactly what my feelings were about living in Korea. These are the struggles of an African in South Korea.
I had moved from Ukraine to China and from there to Korea, excited and hopeful about a country that-I thought, was a virgin land for black people and therefore one immune to discriminations. But I was extremely wrong. If I had to compare Korea to my previous places of residence, it was psychologically the toughest I had experience. Discrimination although very present in Korea is, however, subtle. Take for instance the labour market. Although Korea provides legal residence permit to job seekers who have studied in local institutions, it is almost impossible for most foreign students to actually secure a job. All jobs applications require a resume with a picture, an addition that allows employers to discriminate. Most Africans in Seoul or at least the ones I knew were either a student or in manual labour with the exception of a very small number of fortunate ones who had decent jobs. Africans work in factories, farms, and in the construction industry independently of their level of education. It is almost as if black people can't do anything but low-level jobs. In addition, even in the teaching sector -the most common job for foreigners in Seoul, it is rather challenging for black people to find schools that are willing to hire them. The reasons provided to decline to hire an equally qualified black person although subtle are not less insulting. "it is the Korean culture", or "the parents think kids will be scared if the teacher if black" you will oftentimes hear.
It is however, important to understand the cultural context in Korea before jumping to any conclusions. Korea have always been a very homogeneous society closed to anything foreign. In fact, Korea is with Japan one of the most homogeneous societies in the world. And despite Seoul's skyscrapers, its very efficient public transit, the economic progress, and the rush for technology, things still pretty much function the old Confucian traditional way. People still bow to greet even if it really is just a greeting. Elderly people are still revered, modern Koreans still care very much about social doctrines and being shamed by their peers and, a foreigner is a foreigner. In the past, people with dark skin were peasants who spent their time out on the sun farming. They were considered to be of a lower class just as the blacks today, which probably explains the enthusiasm for skin lightning in modern Seoul. These cultural aspects have transcended the ages to coexist with the spectacular modernity forming what seemed like an odd combination. All those elements shape how Koreans view black people. Africans are perceived as poor, uneducated and low. White Americans are considered desirable, cool and smart. It is very normal to read job posts that stipulate "European looking only" because Korean customer for instance prefer a white cook or waitress. A year ago, someone even accosted a fellow African friend shockingly asking him how he knew how to use a cellphone and wondering if they had any in Africa. I personally had never had such low self-esteem anywhere like in Korea.
Another element of discrimination is the culture of the looks that prevails in Korea today. Korea is the first place I was told I was ugly because I was black sometimes explicitly and very often implicitly.
Some will blame my position to an unfortunate experience that need not be generalized. I agree. I don't know the stories of all Africans in Seoul. I did have my share of misfortune that could have played a role. My best friend of nearly eight years had simply disappeared in Seoul cutting all contacts and putting me in the center of a legal battle with his landlord over his three months of unpaid rent. I paid half the money to be able to recover some of my belongings I kept at his. In another situation, while living alone, I woke up a night in pain from a chronic joint condition I have. I directed myself to the neighbourhood clinic when the nurse called the police because she was afraid of a black man walking in the hospital's hall. She chased me away like a beggar before running into one of the rooms. I ended up in the middle of a police investigation even though I could barely walk. I Agree, all these unlucky events could have affected my opinion but I lived similar situations in Ukraine, and worse. However, my general view of Ukraine is quite positive. I received a lot of support in Ukrainian, made a lot of friends that helped me overcome my challenges and most people made me feel very welcome and entitled although I was black. My skin color was rarely mentioned. At least never seriously. In Odessa or Kiev as long as you spoke Russian or Ukrainian you were Ť Molodoy Tchelaviek ť which translates as "young man". So, not all Africans living in Seoul will have a similar story to mine but the many I know can testify of this truth the situation isn't very encouraging.
Do I have anything positive to say about Korea at all ? Many I will say. The opportunities Offered by the Korean government to outstanding African student to come study in Korea is one of those things. I am very grateful to the Korean government for these opportunities. I benefited from one of those knowledge sharing experiences and can tell you I was thrilled. It has really changed my life by shaping my worldview and equipping me with skills I needed to better confront the demands of the labor market. Africans have a lot to learn from Korea. Korea's struggle to achieve development and good governance are outstanding considering where it started. I also met the love of my life in Korea to whom I recently got married. None of my misfortune makes me regret having lived in Korea at all. It was a learning experience that awakened a yearning desire for equality in me that I never had before. I think I was pretty candid about most things prior to moving to Seoul and going through what I have been through helped me understand I had to stand up and try to make things better.
Hi Franklin, it is unfortunate that you got suspended from this forum due to meaningless feedback that you've given to someone's thread recently. There's still some ways to see the feedback from the thread that you've created. You can simply read this as a guest or register a new account. I hope my feedback below would be helpful.
1st paragraph:
- ...after having spent two years there and honestly it wasn'twas not quite easy for me to give him a straight...
- ...without coming off as rude or insultinga threat to the country orand its people.
2nd paragraph:
- I had moved from Ukraine to China and from there tothen Korea, excited and hopeful (...) and therefore, one immune to discriminationsdiscrimination issues .
- ButHowever, it is unfortunate that I was extremely wrong.
- ..places of residence, it was psychologically the toughest I had experiencethat I have ever experienced.
- All jobs applications require a resume with a picture, an addition that allows employers to discriminate. (I am not really sure that this is one of the way to discriminate people because in my Home country, the same rule exists.)
- ...black people can'tcannot do anything...
- In addition, even in the teaching sector -the most common job for foreigners in Seoul- , it is rather challenging..
- You will more likely to hear discriminating phrases like "it is the Korean culture" or "the parents think kids will be scared if the teacher ifis black".you will oftentimes hear.
3rd paragraph:
- However, it is however, importantessential to understand the cultural context...
- Korea havehas always been a very homogeneous society closed to anything related to foreigners .
- In fact, both Korea is withand Japan areonethe examples of the most homogeneous...
- (avoid writing "and" in the beginning of the sentence)AndDespite Seoul's skyscrapers...
- ....as poor, uneducated, and low. (comma needed)
- ....desirable, cool, and smart. (comma needed)
4th paragraph:
- ....unfortunate experience that does not need toneed not be generalized.
- I don't knowhave no idea about the stories...
- ...was rarely mentioned, at least never...
- SoThus , I assume that not all Africans (...) to mine but the many I know can testify of this truth the situation isn't very encouraging.the truth of this discouraging situation.
However, when I read your last paragraph I was quite surprised that you eventually stayed in Korea until you've found "the love of your life". That's why I suggest you to summarize all the four paragraphs into only 2 paragraphs. By summarizing those paragraphs, you will make your content balanced. The current essay that you've written seems not. As you can see, 4 paragraphs explaining discrimination issues in Korea but only 1 paragraph that mentioning about the positive thing living in Korea. At least, you can try to make it equal. For instance, you can write 2 or 3 paragraphs to talk about discrimination issues and 1 or 2 paragraphs about your positive experiences in Korea.
I hope this helps :)
Hi, Franklin. I have some suggestions for you :
Firstly, please avoid to write this words "It is...."I found many "It is" on your essay, you can remove it or replace it with another words.
1st Paragraph :
- I, therefore, decided to write about it.(what does it mean? Reader can not understand it easily)
- ... years there and honestly it wasn't WAS NOT quite easy for me to give ...
2nd Paragraph :
- I had moved from Ukraine to China and from there to THEN Korea...
- If I had to compared Korea to WITH my previous places of residence
- Discrimination although very present in Korea is, however, subtle.<< what is that ???</b>
3rd Paragraph :
- It is <b>However, IT IS important to understand the ...
- Korea have always been HAS a very homogeneous society ...
4th Paragraph :
- ... of the looks that prevails in Korea today THESE DAYS.
- Korea is the first place THAT I was told I was ugly becauseI was black sometimes explicitly and very often implicitly. (be careful with repetition)
I hope it will be helpful, keep writing ! :)
Hi Franklin, I have a few thoughts to share.
First of all, as a foreigner to a land, one can expect discrimination, there is a certain level of course, however, as it is not your own, you should be ready to this kind of welcome and even more so, prepare for the worst, this is the right attitude that you should prepare yourself whenever you visit, let alone stay and be a resident of the country. Korea, like most countries that is ruled by strict policies and rulers, you have to be very careful and cautious with your actions, also, it is recommended to follow the rule of the land, which applies to everywhere a person goes.
Moving on to your writing style, I believe this essay can be enhanced with the focus on your sentence construction, you tend to pour a lot of ideas in one sentence, with the hopes that this will boost the sense or the thoughts of the essay, the truth is, it makes a very confusing sentence that affects the entire essay and this will bring the essay down.
Furthermore, the essay says "Struggles of an African in South Korea", you managed to portray the exact approach and response for the essay, however, as South Korea became your home for a while, I believe it will not hurt if you input a little bit of good stuff by the end of the essay, now, don't get me wrong, I understand the struggles you went through but I know that you also gained from this experience and lastly, I strongly believe that, in every experience that life throws at us, there is always a lesson to be learned.
You clearly haven't read the Essay at all or at least not in its entirety! And no, you don't go to a country expecting to be discriminated against it is simply not true! And who told you I didn't respect the law there? This is an editing forum, not a debating one. I think there is stronger discrimination in Korea than In China and Ukraine ! It is a fact! That country sucks for Africans! I have lived for years in Europe never have I ever felt the way I did in Korea. Why am I not writing about that? Why choose Korea instead?
if you want to edit my essay go ahead, if not please take you privilege and your racism elsewhere.
Hi Frank, my apologies if you think I'm trying to get into a debate with you, rest assured that this is never the intentions of posting or reviewing your essay. My point is, as what you've mentioned, Korea has a stronger discriminatory nature than in Ukraine and China, having said that, I believe you agree that, in every country, there is a certain way that people think of other people, even their own, let alone foreigners. Now, editing your essay and every single post here on EF is our main goal, with the hopes of creating an even stronger and confident writing project, moreover, we also try and strive in giving insights to everyone, in order to create a good team atmosphere, don't get us wrong when we mention or we go against what you think or see and even experience in a country you visited or you lived in.
You can expect that here on EF, we will not only edit or suggest further enhancements in your essay or projects, we also want you to learn from us, as we learn from you.
Moreover, I didn't mention and have no intention of judging or saying that you didn't respect the law of the land, what I meant was, when we go and visit a foreign land it is just and recommended that we follow the rule of the land, just like anywhere else and I believe that this is true when people would go and visit Africa too.
Nevertheless, I did read and understood as well as reviewed your essay and as a conclusion, I believe it needs a little help in creating far better sentences that will convey the message you are tying to pass on to your readers.
Give examples of such sentences!!!! pick one and construct a better sentence out of it! Like the others don't just bitch about what you seem very concern about. Where have you travelled? What have you experienced? tell me. The content of my essay is what you attack mostly bring up arguments that clearly are very not based on fact. Are you African? are you black? Do you know any black person at all? Have you listened to a single African telling what their experience abroad was? have you compared it to others? You must be kidding because none of your argument is constructive at all. You said I haven't said a single positive about Korea which clearly is a lie. If you don't even have the intellectual honesty to recognise you jumped to conclusions too soon do not try and talk about things you know nothing about. I speak from experience and never have I lived in a place where they were so hypocritical about race. I believe in factual arguments you don't have any I'm sorry.
Who is "us" ? I've received 3 comments/reviews and only yours seems to be ridiculously focused on giving lessons on things you obviously Know nothing about.
I have lived both in Ukraine, Poland, China, Korea and the United States and I reiterate there is not a single place I hated as Korea. Because it is not an inclusive culture at all.
Anyone having lived in Africa is free to say whether he was accepted or not. I have had stories of friends who experienced violence in South Africa and I can tell you I joined in a campaign against that.
Why do you care that much are you Korean?
Hi Frank, please find suggested corrections below;
- after having spentspending two years
- there,and honestly,
- ButHowever, ( refrain from using "but" in the beginning of the sentence ) I was extremely wrong.
- Discrimination, although very present
- in Korea is, however, subtle.
- All jobs applications require
- who hadhas decent jobs.
- farms,( it is not necessary to put a comma before the word "and" ) and in the
- provided to declinein declining to hire
- an equally qualified black person, although subtle, are not less insulting.
- if the teacher ifis black"
- you will oftentimes hear this excuse more often .
There you have it Frank, I hope the above remarks are helpful.
Thank you ! Your corrections although helpful do not justify the comment: "I believe this essay can be enhanced with the focus on your sentence construction, you tend to pour a lot of ideas in one sentence, with the hopes that this will boost the sense or the thoughts of the essay, the truth is, it makes a very confusing sentence that affects the entire essay and this will bring the essay down."
I wanted to see you make less confusing sentences from my so poorly constructed sentences.
I'm glad I made mistakes I would have corrected myself if I took the time to edit the essay.
But yeah thank you. Please, next time keep your views to yourself if you lack points to back them up!
Thank you!
Hi Frank, it's been a while after the last thread that you've created. I can see that you've made some modifications in your second draft in which it looks better than before. You've successfully avoided to create a complicated sentence that can possibly distract or confuse the reader. Having said that, I would like to point out some of your weaknesses in this essay with hope that you can strengthen it in your next draft or even in your final draft.
First of all, I have no idea about the purpose of this essay. You've said about "improving my writing for a future position". What kind of future position is that? in college/university or at work? English for academic and business purposes are different. Therefore, determining the purpose of the essay would be better for the reader to further check and see the content of your essay whether it has already followed the rule or not. Furthermore, additional information such as the minimum words limit would also be beneficial to the reader (EssayForum Members, Moderators, or Contributors) because they can probably determine how many paragraphs that is appropriate for this kind of essay.
However, apart from unclear purpose of your essay, I assume that this writing is an "academic writing". In academic writing, you need to avoid using contractions like "wasn't", "doesn't", and many other forms of that. If you take a closer look again, you will see some of them still exist in your essay. Therefore, omitting those contractions would be better for the improvement of your writing, especially when it relates to an academic writing.
Then, I can see that you've switched the usage of "but" in the beginning of the sentence and replaced it by "however". This is a good improvement after-all. Nevertheless, it is unfortunate that you've still missed another coordinating conjunctions. I would like to inform you that coordinating conjunctions like For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, and So (FANBOYS) are not appropriate if it is placed in the beginning of the sentence. Perhaps, the earlier feedback told you that to avoid "but" but still there are some other prepositions (FANBOYS) that shouldn't appear in the beginning of the sentence.
In conclusion, your essay has already well-written. I do really like the way you link your ideas. It was understandable. Still, some modifications are still needed for the betterment of your essay. Good luck in doing that mate. :)
Thank you for the constructive criticism. I was just writing for my blog. I am moving onto more academic topics or research but this essay is just for a blog I hold. Thanks a lot for the feedback.
You are very welcome Frank. If this is for your blog, I might say that this is very inspiring story I suppose. Your struggling in several countries would inspire other Africans to feel such invaluable experience, either for working or studying purposes. It is also possible for you to create a book based on your story, perhaps not only Korea, but also other countries that you've ever visited.
However, creating a book is a long-term goal that anyone can possibly accomplish. With an extra-ordinary story like yours, I believe that most of the people from throughout the world would want to read your book later on. If you still remember a memoir of a slave in 1853 which later uplifted became a movie "12 Years a Slave" in 2013, it will make a good example of a book that you might want to create.
For your information, 12 Years a Slave is a movie based on an incredible true story of one man's fight for survival and freedom. In the pre-Civil War United States, Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery. Facing cruelty (personified by a malevolent slave owner, portrayed by Michael Fassbender), as well as unexpected kindnesses, Solomon struggles not only to stay alive, but to retain his dignity. In the twelfth year of his unforgettable odyssey, Solomon's chance meeting with a Canadian abolitionist (Brad Pitt) will forever alter his life.
However, this is just my opinion that can possibly be taken into consideration if you are interested in writing a book. I would be grateful to be your co-writer later on. Do not hesitate to ask if you need further assistance :)
Thanks a lot, Mochtar. Thank you for inspiring me. I really didn't think I had any writing skills, but I now want to give it a try. Colleagues at work have told me the same thing and with reviews on here and your remarks I'll definitely carry on with my writing.
Best Regards
