The prompt for this year's application is:
Describe a meaningful experience in your life.
Reflect on how that experience influenced your personal growth, such as your attitudes or perceptions.
Writing is not my strong suit so any advice will help! Not done yet, but this is what I have so far:
Joy. I remember feeling joy. That was the feeling I mostly felt when I spent time with my dad. But this time was special.
My dad has always said, and has continued to say, that it was his dream to be able to surf with all four of his children. Of course, with me being his only daughter, I like to think that my accomplishment of learning to surf was especially important. As with many children that are born and raised in Hawaii, my brothers and I "learned" to surf at very young ages. This most likely meant standing up on a small board while our parents pushed us into the ripples of the shorebreak.
About 6 years ago, I had gotten very interested in turning surfing into a hobby of mine. Up until that point, even though I would've considered myself a budding amateur, I had the growing urge to progress my skills further to one day be able to surf like my dad. I can still remember how excited he was when I asked if he could take me out to his favorite surfing spot, Haubush, for the first time. It's not a difficult memory, as his reaction has remained the same for 6 years, every time I suggest to surf. That day, as my brothers joined us in the water and my mom set up on the sand, ready to snap a picture, I remember the happiness on his face, and I can only hope it's because he was living his dream. I may not have known it at the time, but so was I. It was pure joy. From then on, every summer and winter that my brothers came home, we would make it to Haubush at least once every weekend, with mom on the sand, and the kids and dad in the water. The way its always been, and the way I hope it always will be. Such a simple tradition, but tradition means something.
About one year ago, my dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment with symptoms of young-onset dementia. Although the diagnosis of young-onset dementia is not set in stone, the words "probably" and "likely" have been thrown around quite often. As young adults, we think we're invincible. For many of us, it's hard to imagine such tragedy such as family deaths at such a young time in our lives. We always think, so confidently, that it'll never happen to us. Maybe it's naïve. Maybe it's optimistic. But one thing I've learned from surfing with my dad from that day 6 years ago, to now, is that it is so important to appreciate the time you get to spend with loved ones, because no one knows the future. After his diagnosis, he had to leave his job of 30 years, and was unable to drive anywhere - including the beach. Being that surfing was his life since he was in middle school, it was evident that it really was his therapy. From this, I have made a tradition of my own. Every Sunday, I drive my dad to surf at his favorite spot. We spend the morning surfing together, and it has quickly become one of my most favorite parts of the week.
Surfing with my dad may have not been a singular moment in time that has changed me for the better, but more a collection of priceless experiences that I couldn't have gotten anywhere else. Those experiences have taught me so much more than surfing. It has taught me sacrifice, responsibility, tenacity, and overall, a deeper gratitude for every moment that I get to spend with my family and friends. And I owe it to my dad.
My dad taught me to love life. He taught me that as long as you have your family, you will always have people that will love and care for you. As a future physical therapist, I aspire to extend that same value of family to my future patients. Whether I will be helping someone with a fractured hip from a fall, or whiplash from a car accident, I hope to be able to gain the skills I need to be able to care and treat my patients, just as I would care for my own family. I now know what it's like to have complete uncertainty about the future of my family's health, and I hope to be a factor in helping to ease other family's fears about the same things. No one can tell the future, but there are so many things, that I hope to learn to do, to make not knowing just a little bit easier for everyone. Through learning to surf, I have found an appreciation for my family that may have not been there at 14 years old, and a greater compassion for the people that I care about.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Karly, this essay takes too long to get to the point. Then, when it does get to the point, I learn more about your father and your brothers, even your mother, than I do about you and how this experience / diagnosis of your father having young-onset dementia became a learning experience for you. Start the essay from the point of your father being diagnosed, then explain how the diagnosis affected you and encouraged you to make changes in your life that have, in the process, helped you to become a better person.
The essay is weak in representing your personal growth or change in perception. You mention these in only one or two sentences at the most when the whole essay should be grounded upon how that diagnosis had a direct impact on your overall development as a person. There is no need to try and connect the experience with your chosen college major. This is not an essay that delves upon that.
Instead, this essay should delve upon how you handle a crisis and/or turn that crisis into a learning experience for yourself. What did you learn from having to deal with this diagnosis? What changes did you make in life to accommodate your dad? Why do you believe that caring for him at this point in his illness is something that has made you a better person? What kind of relationship evolved from all these experiences and changes?
If you must focus on discussing a relationship, make it a reference to your relationship with your father and no one else, before and after his diagnosis. Describe how the evolution of your relationship has also contributed to a new perspective in your life about how you view father-daughter relationships and how it should be valued as it grows. The focus on these 2 aspects will certainly be more than enough to respond to the prompt requirements.
Shorten the essay. Get to the point sooner rather than later. Revise the content to be more interesting and related to the expected information.
