this my personal SOP, need some help with possible editing.
Statement of purpose
Civil engineering is the foundation on which humankinds builds its world and engineers can shape the world into a better and more sustainable place to live. Engineer brings revolutionary changes to our society. Every day, we walk through buildings, drive on bridges, but not many of us think the work behind these architects. In fact, if bridges, buildings can easily collapse, then everyone's life will be in danger. Therefore, civil engineers are here to ensure everyone's safety. My interest in civil engineering germinated watching my father's extraordinary feats in this field and then increased gradually substantiating the fact that civil engineers are intimately associated with nearly every aspect of our lives. As a child, I was fascinated, and introduced to the world of engineers. In fact, the unique process behind it sparks my passion and made me to dream to become a civil engineer Civil engineers has not only contributed to the development of modern civilization but also committed to fulfill unprecedented future demands for energy, land, water, transportation, materials, waste disposal, health care, environmental cleanup, and infrastructure. For these reasons I am tremendously interested in this field and I always see myself among those civil engineers who will contribute to shape the future world and make a difference to people's lives.
It was the field of Civil engineering which always lured me towards it. I accomplished my diploma in civil engineering and undergraduate degree in environmental engineering, here I undergo with various subject like structural engineering, fluid mechanics, geotechnology, advance construction management, mechanics of structure, surveying from civil engineering stream and the subjects like advance waste water treatment, waste management, clean development mechanism, green building, urban and rural planning, air pollution, environmental management from environmental engineering field. Substantially acquiring dual knowledge will help me a lot in resolving future issues. The world of engineer only needs those who have knowledge, passionate, and great perseverance. While offering both depth and breadth across this field, these courses also put me into perspective the importance and relevance of civil Engineering and the application of its fundamental to its related problems globally along with managerial skills. Environmental engineering always been under Civil engineering branch, increasing complexity and magnitude of the world's environmental problems has resulted in a growing need for skilled professionals who have studied disciplines in both fields.
In this ever-changing world of Engineering and Technology, where each new day sees a spate of new concepts and applications and each passing day makes them obsolete, I want to attain the highest level of education and transcend new horizons in the chosen field. The vast application potential and tremendous scope for high career in civil engineering always fascinated me .By the time I completed by undergraduate work, I had acquired a strong grounding in the theoretical concepts behind both in civil and environmental engineering. I would like to continue my graduate studies in field of civil engineering.
During the training program at United breweries, I was assigned to chemical laboratory, In plant training and waste water treatment plant, where I gained an understanding of the quality maintenances, house keeping with accomplishing high standards, water reclamation and reuse. Here, I got acquainted with the pollution problems and energy conservation challenges faced by the industry and devoted a significant portion of my project to devising pollution abatement methods. Training program at Rashtriya chemical fertilizers Ltd a government of India undertaking industry with Both the Units of RCF are accredited with ISO-14001 Certification for the environmental systems while Thal Industrial Products are accredited with ISO 9002 certification for quality control. Thal and Trombay Units have also received OSHAS-18001 Certification. Here I undergo with in plant training program along with Environmental Managements techniques workshop. In order to future enhance my skills in the field of environmental Management, I undergo certification of ISO as Internal auditors on Environmental Management systems (14001:2007), Carbon Footprints managements system (41064:2006), Energy management system (50001:2011) and OHSAS (18001:2007)
My final year dissertation was on reuse of waste water from automobile service stations. Effluent from automobile industry bears the load of oil and grease along with suspended and dissolved solids which affects nearby soil and water quality as well as span of sewers also this industry requires huge amount of fresh water for its process considering this conditions, a lab scale model was prepared for treatment of waste water with possible methods and studying characteristics of various parameter in that water. Also the model was designed to get possible oil recovery and reclaimed water was used to be for non potable activities. It was designed to be cost effective and energy efficient.
I think you have done a good job, you have used variety of sentence to attract reader attention, which in my opinion was good. However, I could not see a solid conclusion in your essay. Also, there are some punctuation mistakes, which I have captured below in form of double colon, please have a look. This may help you to improve. Rest it was very good effort.
- Civil engineering is the foundation on which "humankind" builds its world and engineers can shape the world into a better and more sustainable place to live...(see words in " ")
- Every day, we walk through buildings, drive on bridges, but not many of us "would really think how this wonderful work has been carried out"?...(see words in " ")
- My interest in civil engineering "is" germinated "from" watching my father's....(see words in " ")
- In fact, the unique process behind it "sparked" my passion...(see words in " ")
- and made me to dream "of becoming a civil engineer". Civil made me to dream to become a civil engineer...(see " " and I added full stop after engineer.)
- Civil engineers "have" not only contributed to the development of modern civilization, ... (see words in " ", and I have added comma before but)
- Here, I "was" acquainted with the pollution problems "along with the "energy conservation challenges faced by the industry, "thereby I" devoted a significant portion of my project to devising "the" pollution abatement methods.
Well, this is written pretty good. However, I don't find any thing to support how your intended study program would be helpful in achieving your future goals and aspirations. It is one of the most important aspects that admission officers would want to know. The SOP is your best chance to let those officers know you better as a person. So, tell them what your future goals are and how they can be achieved through their program.
