Please review my SOP and come up with suggestions.
"An hour long informal interaction with Mr. Dinesh K. Deshpande, the Chief Executive of Hindustan Petroleum Corporation Limited-Mumbai refinery, at Indian Institute of Technology Bombay on the challenging nature of work in the petroleum industry left me fascinated both by his field of work and by the man himself. This prompted me to take up an internship at the Indian Institute of Petroleum (IIP) which is one of the leading constituent laboratories of Council of Scientific and Industrial Research (CSIR) in India and it was during this time that my interests in the various facets of petroleum engineering deepened. It was a pleasant feeling to have known that my work on Process Integration of Crude column using Pinch Analysis was of significant contribution. We were successful in revamping the heat exchanger train of a crude distillation unit and increasing the throughput capacity of the column for the same furnace duty which enabled me to have a first hand experience of the downstream sector of the oil and gas industry.
It was the combination of my enthusiasm and industriousness that enabled me to complete the above mentioned work well before time and take up another project on the simulation of the CO2 absorption model. Based on the experimental data, we simulated the conditions and accurately predicted the parameters for a model on the pilot scale. ASPEN was used for simulation which drilled into me the importance of software tools because of the staggering scope of applications they can be employed for. I wasted no opportunity to attend lectures and seminars hosted by industry bigwigs during my time at the IIP which further stimulated my interest and my belief in learning beyond the routine curriculum. Most of the fellow trainees were employees of oil and gas companies and through active interaction with them I learnt of the many technical challenges that the petroleum industry faces today. It was then I realized that I needed in-depth knowledge of Petroleum Engineering to be able to come up with novel solutions and to achieve better results.
I have also had an opportunity to develop and complete a creative computer oriented project in the field of Geographical Informational Systems with the guidance of Dr.G.V.Kumari, a Lecturer specializing in GIS at Birla Institute of Science and Technology, Goa. It was here that I got an opportunity to work with an open source GIS (Geographical Information System) software application called the Map Server. I was a part of a team of three. We used a Web-based mapping server to spatially depict the pollution levels in air for all the states in India and hosted it on the local server of our college. I also worked in the Biological Sciences department under Dr. Prakash on the gene modification of a plant to reduce lignin and increase cellulases eventually easing and boosting the production of cellulosic ethanol. These works enhanced my ability to grasp something that was new and pertaining to a field different from my area of specialization at the under-graduate level.
During my three years at college, I was a member of AASRA, an NGO working on social welfare issues where I learnt to take initiation and be responsible. I was also a part of ABHIGYAAN, a non profit organization involved in educating those who cannot afford quality education. I taught basic math and science to my student and later basic computer knowledge. Having seen my student at close quarters for 3 years, it dawned on me that every person has immense potential. The difference lies in the right exposure, guidance and the burning desire, the latter quality that I shared with my student helped us connect better. I intend to work for a global petroleum company after my masters but later in the future, I see myself heading back to academia for I draw great satisfaction in teaching and connecting with students eager to learn.
I have been good at academics since my childhood which resulted in securing 91.6% in my 10th and in the process earning a certificate for being among the top 0.1% of the appearing candidates nationwide in English. I worked hard to meet the high standards that I set for myself and gained admission into Birla Institute of Technology and Science-Pilani (BITS-PILANI), one of the top ten universities in India. I chose to major in Chemical Engineering because of its ubiquitous applications. I realize that I got deviated academically during my years of under graduate study and have not done as well as I could have, my GRE and TOEFL scores being testimony to this fact, but I am better off from the experience and now with a chance to study at your university I am eager to excel and make the most of the opportunity presented to me.
I believe that my technical, intellectual and creative skills that I developed through my projects, internships and extra-curricular activities will facilitate me in adopting and acing this unique course. I was fascinated by the ongoing research at the Texas A & M University on Reservoir Simulation enhanced oil recovery. I believe my interests are in perfect line with the research and that I can contribute significantly with my aptitude, independent thinking and resilience. I believe a masters' degree in Petroleum Engineering would help me meet my objective to work for a global company and produce some useful and original work that will be of valuable contribution to the field of petroleum.
A winner is someone who converts his thoughts into actions and his aspirations into reality. I believe I have what it takes to be a winner. I need training, direction and an invigorating academic climate that fosters creative thinking. I believe Pursuing my Graduation with the Petroleum engineering group at the Texas A & M University is a logical step ahead for me and that I will be able to add value and enhance my future. Going through the course catalog for Masters in Petroleum Engineering at the Texas A & M University left me impressed, its excellent research facilities and the research at affiliated organizations like the Crisman Institute, GPRI and the CEETI only accentuated my belief that your esteemed University is indeed the place which would help realize my career goals and aspirations. All I ask now is for an opportunity. "
Thanx in advance guys!!!
cheers!!
No need for " marks at the beginning.
Make long, awkward sentences more manageable by using dashes:
An hour long informal interaction on the challenging nature of work in the petroleum industry with Mr. Dinesh K. Deshpande -- the Chief Executive of Hindustan Petroleum Corporation Limited-Mumbai refinery, at Indian Institute of Technology Bombay -- left me fascinated...
I like how you start paragraph two!!
I have been skilled in academics since my...
Now,when I look at what you wrote in the last para about being a winner, it makes me think, "Why not write a little about that theme at the end of the first paragraph?" That way, the whole essay will be tied together nicely around that theme when it is finished. What do you think of the idea of making "being a winner" your theme?
You really do a great job of showing your intelligence here.
Google this: Canada Petroleum Engineering Programs.
I found this right away for you: canadian-universities/Universities/Programs/P etroleum_Engineering.html
Really, you are better off asking google instead of asking me! Here is something else:
gradschools/Subject/Petroleum-Engineering-International/307.html
