In todayʼs world, technology has become an integral part of human society. Be it
transferring funds at the click of a button or planning your travel itinerary, diagnosing a
medical issue or having a conference call among a group of people located at different
geographical locations, technology is helping humans make their lives easier. I have
always been fascinated by technology and computers, and have always wanted to be a
part of this community.
Getting the opportunity to learn BASIC in my primary school, I decided to enhance my
knowledge in the field of computer science. I chose Computer Science as an elective
subject in my high school where I scored 82%. The course gave me insight on Object
Oriented Programming with focus on C++ language.
Instigated by my insatiable desire for knowledge I decided to pursue my under-graduation
(UG) in Computer Science. I enrolled in an engineering course affiliated to Gautam
Buddha technical University. During my undergraduate studies I took several courses
covering topics in Database management, Algorithms, Data Structures, Operating
Systems and programming languages like C, C++ and Core Java. I scored 72% in my final
semester and passing my undergraduate degree with an aggregate of 62%.
No knowledge is true in nature without exploring the practical side of the theoretical
curriculum you have studied. My course was no exception. I was given the oppurtunity to
work on a minor project in my penultimate semester. I decided to create a library
management system using JSP and SQL to enhance the user experience of my academic
peers. In my final year I decided to implement my major project in Human Computer
Interaction (HCI). I developed a 4-point touch panel using a set of transmitter (IC 555) and
receiver (TSOP 1738) circuits. On the software side I coded a game called Snake in C
Language. Later, I interfaced the touch panel to this game using the printer port so that I
could play this game using the panel I developed rather than the keyboard. That was the
first research experience I had during my undergraduate studies.
After I finished my under-grad studies I decided to join the Information Technology (IT)
sector so that I could apply the knowledge I had gained in my course. I have been working
for more than 5 years now with software firms like Tata Consultancy Services (TCS) and
Accenture. I work in the middleware domain and my primary job responsibility is to
integrate various IT applications within and outside an organization using an integration
suite called webMethods (Software AG). My work typically involves using a service
oriented architecture (SOA) to provide seamless integration between IT applications,
Business Process Management (BPM) to design and implement business processes. In
addition to getting exposure to various technologies like XML, XSD, SAP , EDI X12 , XSLT,
SQL, PL/SQL and Java, this industry has taught me soft skills like being a good team
player, conflict resolution without getting into an argument, evaluating and escalating risks
on time, leadership qualities. After working for projects in different verticals like
Manufacturing, Finance, Telecommunication and gaining an expertise on the Enterprise
Application Integration (EAI) domain I still feel the need to explore other areas of computer
science in order to quench my thirst for knowledge.
Distributed Computing, Human Computer Interaction (HCI), and Autonomous systems are
some of the areas that captivated my interest. Initially introduced to the concepts of
Parallelization and synchronization in concurrent computing problems through Dining
Philosopher's problem in one of my UG courses (Operating Systems) and later studying
an entire course on distributed systems, I was inclined towards the area of distributed
computing. I have always tried to keep myself apprised of the upcoming developments in
the field like mapReduce and Google File System (GFS) through independent study and
research.
I have always been philanthropic in nature and strongly believed in giving back to society.
Some of my role models are Larry page and Sergey Brin, John Forbes Nash, Andre Agassi
and Steffi Graf. With Larry and Sergey making all the information in the world accessible at
a click of a button and Andre and Steffi providing charity to homeless children and helping
them achieve their dreams, I feel inspired by them and want to be like them. Apart from
work, I like to spend my time watching movies, reading, playing Sudoku and Table Tennis.
I had been a State level table tennis player while in High School. I have also won several
corporate tournaments across TCS and Accenture IDC. This game helps me learn a very
important principle of life, which is that "The game is not over until itʼs actually over". It
helps me learn the importance of perseverance and the will to fight back.
United States has always been a leader in technological innovation. After doing research
about the computer science program at XYZʼs website, I was attracted with the variety of courses and extensive research options like Distributed Computing, Artificial Intelligence, Software Engineering. After conversing with a few students I was convinced that a graduate course from your university will help me get a deeper understanding on the subject and contribute to the society by working on real life engineering problems either in academia or industry. I am aware of the dedication and perseverance required to pursue graduate studies and I strongly believe that I possess the motivation and commitment required to pursue such a demanding course and hope that my credentials will help me qualify as a suitable candidate at the XYZ
University.
In today's world,technology has become an integral part of human society.
In today's world , technology has become an integral part of human society.
neither is correct, it should be...In today's world, technology...
the comma comes right after the word, then you leave a space.
...curriculum you have studied. My course ...--the same goes for periods. Like this, period right after the word, then a space.
About the content of your essay; I think you did an excellent job telling about what you've done so far and what you know about computer science, which is quite a bit more than most people! You sound mature, confident, and serious about your studies, a perfect candidate for admission.
In todayʼs world, technology has become an integral part of human...
This whole paragraph is too obvious. The reader stops paying attention, because you are telling here something she already knows... common knowledge...
Hey, I notice that you have not helped any other essayists. You have a high level of English proficiency, so I expect you to help some of the others by commenting on their essays! :-)United States has always been a leader in technological innovation.
Too obvious again here at the end. They do not need you to tell them this. They need you to tell them about your aspirations, your clearly envisioned plan. Make a plan for accomplishing something specific, something excellent.
No knowledge is true in nature without exploring the practical side of the theoretical
curriculum you have studied.
This is an example of using more words than necessary, more complexity than necessary. This sentence takes a long time to say: "Practical applicability is important." I think every paragraph should begin with a sentence that helps explain your MAIN MESSAGE to the reader. What message do you hope the reader will remember about you? The reader is not able to remember multiple facts... just one or two. So, make one brilliant point at the end of the first paragraph, and use the body paragraphs to reinforce that single, excellent idea.
:-)
Thank you for the feedback :) ... I ll try to implement those things.
I am new here ... should I just start replying to their essays.
I believe in forums you are not allowed to give your expert opinions unless you are one of the moderators.
That logic sounds right to me .. as people coming here are looking for the expert advice ... n if they don't get the right advice , they might start loosing their faith.
