I have to write a one page Letter. I need your comments, especially moderators' suggestions are important.!!!:) please pay attention to Grammar errors, essay structure (that i used below):
1.MY PROPOSED STUDY AT THIS PROGRAM
2.My FUTURE PLANS
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to express my interest in applying for a Master in Economics at the University of XXXX starting in autumn 2012. My decision to choose the Economics program in XXXX mainly grounds on under given factors:
With a career in Economics as my professional goal, I realize the necessity of obtaining the difficult theoretical and practical knowledge to reach that goal. After searching information on graduate programs in economics, I find that your program fits well with my long term academic and career plans.
One of the top reasons I wish to attend University of XXXX is because this Economics program would not only provide me with the essential education, but also vast opportunities to continue my studies and conduct research in the field of Economics. In other words, this specific Master Program comes from the fact that in the near future I would like to get to know more concepts, like modern economics and addresses issues such as business cycles, economic development, the functioning of markets and strategic interaction, how income is generated and distributed, and the role of economic policy. In fact offered program includes all of these conceptions.
Another key point, The Master program also gives an excellent chance for specializing in fields such as petroleum economic, development economics, international trade and globalization. Accordingly, I would like to stress that our countries possess similar features not only in locality fields but also in economical concepts thus, oil, gas and fishing constitutes major economical durability of both countries.
Together with I know that this Master Program would be an excellent starting point for my further academic performance in order to reach PhD level. You could be sure that I have enough work-related, analytical and methodological skills and abundant educational background for performing well. As an illustration, I would like to emphasize that my academic performance has been always on top of class both for secondary and high school. As a result, my GPA for secondary school is 4.9 (out of 5) and 4.8(out of 5) for high school. As a graduate student from Azerbaijan State Oil Academy I concentrated on getting a solid background in Economics, mathematics, and statistics which will make me enable to perform well in many courses.
Furthermore, even when I was sophomore my course papers were always distinct from others, such as in the comparison of Oil Industry and Environmental Problems in Azerbaijan, U.S.A and Middle East Countries. In addition, I was the recipient of scholarship from State Oil Academy, British Petroleum (Azerbaijan branch) and SOCAR's full-bright scholarship. As well as I served as a leader of Faculty Youth and Research clubs. My duty consisted of organizing regular discussions, like Marketing programs, International Economics, development of local enterprises, development of business in modern conditions and activities such as language learning hours, dancing competitions, swimming & ping pong tournaments and music contests among the university students.
Apart from my research experience, other activities and academic excellence, I also devoted equal effort to work experience and internship as I believe they will help me become a well-rounded individual. I used to work in distinct fields such as in "Elshan Ltd.(Oil&Gas Marketing Company)" as a marketing manager, "Azinka(Human Resource&Career Center)" as a Senior Recruitment Consultant, including Internship in Baku city Head Customs Department, Internship in Xazar Ltd. Broadcasting Company, Production experience in SOCAR(Azerbaijan).
In my opinion, learning doesn't stop when you graduate it is a process that continues throughout life. I expect that the knowledge I obtain in the master program will allow me to return home and obtain a job in the oil sector which would allow me to contribute in improving economic aspects of the oil industry. You could be sure that my academic credentials of a top tier education with a strong scientific component, my academic background, work experience and my personal traits such as good communication skills, leadership qualities, and team work attitude make me a worthy candidate for your Master program.
I would like to avoid say-ing clichés, but I believe "diligence is the mother of good luck and success", You could be sure that I have enough educational background and motivation not to disappoint you. I hope you will accept me for aspired program and give me a chance to realize my dreams and to create new relationships with people from different cultures for making the world smaller. If chosen, I will do my best to achieve success at your university as well as in every aspect of my life.
Don't write this statement of purpose the way you would a formal letter. Most applicants tend to make that mistake when first starting their drafts. The format for this statement is still that of an ordinary essay. Remember, this essay is not going to be addressed to a particular person, but a body of people who will analyze the merits of your application. So the formality of a letter is set aside in favor of a more relaxed yet formal, academic essay.
The first paragraph must relate your purpose for masters studies with your current work/profession. This means that the two topics are directly related and show a definite career progression for you once you complete your masters studies. I am certain that I did not see any sort of career progression to this effect within the essay. Your certainty of what economics will demand of you in the future serves as an insight into your possible career plans, but does not connect your current position with the future. You see, one of the main purposes for masters studies is future promotions or career enhancement opportunities. You need to ensure that one or both are reflected accurately in your statement.
Do not spend a tremendous amount of the essay discussing your tertiary education achievements. What will actually interest the admissions officer at this point is, aside from the number of years you have for your work experience, is your consistent participation in seminars or training programs that show your passion for your profession and dedication to the job. It is that drive to continuously stay ahead of the game that will make the admissions officer realize that you are not going to have a problem giving your best in both your academic and professional undertaking, even if you have to do both at the same time.
Definitely avoid the cliche at the end of your concluding paragraph. It lessened the overall impact of your statement and did not really relate to anything that you had to say after it in the conclusion. In such instances, it is always better to just keep the conclusion hopeful and simple by offering a vision of your short and long term career goals upon graduation.