I NEED YOUR PROOFREADING HELP. WANNA SUBMIT THIS TEXT TOMMORROW. TANK U
Im applying for a Master SCHOLARSHIP and they ask me for a Personal statement this is what they ask me:
Describe your reasons for applying for the course you wish to follow and explain how it will help you with the work you expect to do on your return to your home country.
You should include an outline of your intended profession, your ambitions and your career plan.
Describe also, your most outstanding non-academic achievement involving other people where you demonstrated leadership potential (you may describe an extra curricular/sport/community/professional activity or an assignment):
The answer to the question of 'why things are the way they are' was my happiness at childhood age, as I always wanted to know. This thirst for knowledge has been my driving force right from when I was a kid. My parents and teachers would always say that I can't know everything, that I should reserve some questions for the next day. This eagerness to know and always be informed about how things are done has helped me to excel greatly academically and be among the best in my classes.
I'm the first in a family of three, with two younger sisters. I'm from delta state, Nigeria. I speak English fluently alongside my local languages: Igbo and pidgin. With this personal statement, I hope to demonstrate not only the academic and professional qualifications that make me an exceptional candidate to University of XXXX's Master's program in Subsea engineering and to your scholarship, but also the personal characteristics that will allow me to obtain the most from studying at University of XXXX.
I grew up to find myself being under pressure to perform and deliver as I could remember, in my mid primary school. Having to attend quiz competitions with other schools in mathematics, verbal and essay competitions in the Junior Engineers, Technicians and Scientists (JETS) competitions. These competitions shaped my mind and built my passion for engineering and technology. I have diverse extra-curricular activities. I love football. I'm a Manchester united supporter. I play football as well. I play a midfield position. I play video games, especially play station. I learnt a lot from playing football; sportsmanship, team work, discipline and communal goal. I hate losing, but it cannot be removed. However, I struggle to minimize it and survive with it when it occurs. I swim as well as do comedy talks and entertain people. I like making people happy.
During my undergraduate studies, I was the leader of the technical department of my church for two years, a leader in Achievers' Consortium, a human capital development and youth enlightenment association, for a year and secretary of my departmental union during my last year. I gained and exercised the trait of being a leader and a manager of persons. Had to work with different persons, keep to time, work my feet off to get desired results, especially when it comes meeting deadlines.
My professional experience include my undergraduate study in civil engineering, industrial training and part-time working period as a trainee structural engineer, post graduate work and trainings. I studied hydraulics and fluid mechanics from which I gained adept understanding of pipe stress, water structures and flow dynamics. I got knowledge of subsurface structures from foundation engineering, both onshore and offshore foundations. Also, I deepened my research into structures, on which I carried out my project research in foundation failures. I got knowledge of dynamics of structures and geo-interaction.
From May 2010 to August 2010, and from March 2011 to June 2011, I worked part time in Alisa Engineering Services, a civil engineering, consulting and construction company. I learnt the use of CADDs and worked as a design engineer. I had to learn how to manage time to make up for my coursework. From September 2010 to February 2011, I had my industrial training in the same company. I had more functions; site supervision. During times of urgency prior to delivering dates of some design projects, I had to work at nights. I became very good at multi-tasking and time management due to my position as design engineer.
During my undergraduate studies, I did attend tutorials in the petroleum department because I was fascinated about petroleum operations under the sea. I also wanted to know the technology being used. I got knowledge about directional drilling, secondary recovery and mud logging. I developed keen interest in subsea engineering when I came across a conference with title 'Operating Subsea Oil & Gas Production Systems' in 2009, Perth. It had a detailed and 3D coloured representation of the subsea structures and controls. Since then, I developed interest in reading the papers and journals of major subsea and offshore conferences. Others include but not limited to 'Subsea Controls Down Under', Perth, Western Australia. 'Offshore Australasia Conference in Perth', Australia, 'Deep Offshore Technology International Conference & Exhibition (DOT)', Norway, The Life-Cycle of Flexible Risers and Flow lines, Subsea Pipelines Integrity Management, Oil & Gas UK Subsea Seminar.
After my graduate studies, I taught maths, physics and chemistry in Uncle Kens Academy, a pre-admission tutorial academy for eight months. I saw the need to impart to the younger generations as a privilege and I utilised the opportunity. I was reckoned as the most passionate and intelligent teacher with demystifying approaches. I'm currently working as a design engineer in Darycet International Limited, as well as teaching in a secondary school in service to my country Nigeria.
In line with my quest to study subsea engineering and in preparation, I am undergoing trainings in piping, plant design management system, pipe stress, well control 1 & 2 (IWCF/IADC) and going through some of the course modules including subsea integrity management, controls, structures, risers, flow assurance etc. Bagging a first class in civil engineering(structures) with the best result of its kind, being the best student in most of my endeavours, from primary school through the university levels, awarded the best student in mathematics and sciences at secondary level, the overall best student in integrity and excellence in the University of Benin during the 2010/2011 academic session, I have been filled with the desire to take my achievements to the next level and work on something that brings joy from within. Subsea engineering excites and gives me a sense of fulfilment anytime I'm on the subject. I hope to put in the best of my ability to create an indelible impact during my study.
My country Nigeria, being one of world's major producers of oil and gas has most her proven reserves offshore. I chose to pursue a master's degree in subsea engineering at University of XXXX where many subsea experts reside. This I believe would help me achieve my goal of being an indigenous expert in subsea engineering and of world class performance to make meaningful contributions and improvement to Nigeria's oil sector. University of XXXX has a class and world recognition in petroleum and subsea technologies. The university academic environment and study modules agree very well with my academic and research interests. Being taught with state of the art and cutting edge technologies in subsea engineering will invariably put me on a high pedestal which will allow me contribute my best in research to the university during my study and my country, Nigeria.
I am convinced that my academic qualifications of a top tier education with a strong scientific inclination, my professional experience, my voracious yearnings for learning and trainings on subsea operations, my personal traits such as good communication skills, leadership qualities, multi-tasking, time management and team work attitude make me a worthy candidate for your scholarship program. I am enthusiast about the challenge to attend the University of XXXX. While I realize that this scholarship is very competitive, I consider myself highly qualified to be successful in the program I'm pursuing. I appreciate your consideration of my application. I would be pleased to hear from you for any questions either through my e-mail, or phone number.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
DibiaNSKI
PLS READ AND ASSIST ME WITH CORRECTIONS. GOD BLESS U
my local languages: Igbo and pidgin
You should change it to Lgbo and Pidgin, as language name always starts with a capital letter.
my position as a design engineer.
During my undergraduate studies, I did attended tutorials
no need to emphasize I think!After my graduate studies, I taught maths, physics and chemistry in Uncle Kens Academy, a pre-admission tutorial academy, for eight months
I'm currently working as a design engineer in Darycet International Limited, as well as teaching in a secondary school in service to my country, Nigeria.
Everything else is fine.
MAN graduate ESSAYS are this LONG!!!!!