Essay for Master in Management Study Northwestern University
Topic: How have you grown and developed as a person over the last four years? What experiences at your undergraduate institution have contributed to your development? (500 words)Please include the essay prompt in bold at the top of the page.
Hi guys. Below is my first draft. Any advice or correction in usage is welcomed! Thanks!
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Trying Out Different Possibilities and Finding My Future Path
The four years of undergraduate time has been one of the happiest times in my life because I have my life in control and I have come closer and closer to my dream.
I learned a lot from my experiences in being a group leader. Aside from many successful experiences, an unhappiest experience left me with the greatest impression when I teamed up with some students major in computer science to develop a shopping website. They jumped ship in the middle of our project because they had better chance with greater rewards in a competition. I was not told until they finished their new project and of course my project blew up. As the group leader, I felt I was deceived. But after a lot of thought, I believed it could be my insufficient marketing knowledge that gave them the impression that marketing was not as important as techniques. This strengthens my determination to further study marketing and management as I know they are actually very vital in the success of an organization.
I also found my interested field and decided my long term goal in my undergraduate years. For years I have been unclear which path I should choose. When I was eleven, I gave up the opportunity of entering the top music school in China and my dream of becoming a professional pianist because I also wanted to pursue my other interests. During my undergraduate years, I attended many classes at Peking University, including Demystifying the Chinese Economy, a course taught by Justin Yifu Lin, the former Chief Economist and Senior Vice President of the World Bank. This course raised my interest in the Chinese financial system. I learned that with limited channels available to raise capital, the Chinese financial system has yet to hit maturity to balance out the labor-intensive small and medium-sized firms which have a great comparative advantage in the world. During my internship, I was struck again by the need to develop a more mature financial market. One of my missions was to promote privately raised company bonds for small and medium enterprises, a method Lin said would benefit the Chinese financial system. However, this product was a limited release in testing phases even though I was in one of the biggest security companies in China. Therefore, I decided to pursue further study in the area of business to have a deeper understanding of this issue.
Aside from my academic experiences, I have also been an active member of many sport activities. As member of my university's swimming, badminton and tennis teams, I enjoyed competing in sport with my teammates and I met many great friends in sport activities. I also took up a part time job playing the piano to keep my interest in art as my university does not have piano related activities. Knowing that Northwestern University has a great musical environment, I am eager to have a chance to study there.
In conclusion, I have learned a lot from my leadership, academic and extracurricular experiences and am more confident at myself. It is my dream to continue my study at Kellogg and to pursue my interest for business.
Shiyun, first up, it was the prompt questions that you had to place at the top of your essay page. Not a creative title for the essay that you developed. So you need to remove your title and place the prompt questions instead in bold letters.
- Do not stray from the topic. The prompt clearly asks you to discuss only your undergraduate years. Any reference to activities or thoughts prior to that is unacceptable and will affect the reviewer's opinion of your essay.
The essay is pretty much balanced between your academic and personal development. So aside from the portion that I am advising you to edit, I think your essay will be ready to use in no time :-)
1st paragraph
- an unhappiestunhappy experience
2nd paragraph
- I gave up the opportunity of entering thetaking part in a top music school in China
- ...medium-sized firms which havehas a great
3rd paragraph
- I enjoyed competing in sport with my teammates and
4th paragraph
- ...am more confident atwith myself.
This is somehow a well written essay, though there are a few remarks done, this is very minor. It aims to enhance the essay so it will be ready to be submitted.
I believe what is asked in the prompt was met and your essay has all the needed requirements of an essay for Northwestern university.
I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavor.
