If anyone can give me some feedback I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.
Convey in writing the most intensely emotional moment-positive or negative-you have ever experienced.
Emotional Moment Essay
I was twenty-nine years young sitting in the same living room where I grew-up. The same living room where a lifetime of happiness, joy, anger and pain - lay etched in memory, tattooed on the individual fibers summarizing my every thought, my every action...My very existence.
Bathed in the comfort of that familiar place, I submitted to the pull of exhaustion's might as my young nephew positioned himself in the safety of my embrace, not to escape, but to submit to the same. As we caressed the obscure border separating conscious thought from subconscious symbolism, I recalled a time when I told myself that my brother - my nephew's father - was no longer a brother to me and that the word brother was a title void of its meaning.
Opening my eyes, as if to smear the dank ashes of a past rivalry, I noticed my brother's gaze fixed on me, and my nephew, with all the love of a brother, and a father, written in the shapes of his eyes and the angular plains of his face. That face was all I needed to remind me that my brother - was my brother - and that that angst ridden thought was nothing more than the carcass of a stale memory, convulsing in the recesses of the forgotten.
Returning his glance, I said nothing - we said nothing - but said everything in the span of those few seconds. He took a photograph, preserving that moment in time, then left on a journey he would never return from ...
An odd feeling it is when someone so close departs, more so when unexpected. His presence - I felt it in the hours after he left us, like he was trying to tell me he's okay, that he's fine and he'll find his way back; somehow, someway.
Was it my mind's attempt at numbing the trauma of his absence, or was he really there in spirit? I do not know.
The day he died, after that last photograph he took of me and his son, he told me before he left ---- No, I apologize - that memory belongs to me.
I miss you brother ... I'll see you when I get there.I was twenty-nine years young, sitting in the ...---- added a comma.
Also, i think it is not good to say 29 yrs young. It is a cliche, a common play on words.
I do agree with your way of writing twenty-nine instead of 29. In APA writing you would use 29, but in other cases it looks nice to write the word twenty-nine.
then left on a journey from which he would never return...
Ah! Awful... I'm sorry for your loss. Yes, we'll see him when we get there. Practice meditation now so that you might recognize him when you next see him.
My advice: write more about that particular moment. Give it a whole paragraph. Use the word moment to show that you are following the prompt.
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