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Waitlist/Rejection Argue essay for CMU eBusiness program


bonboncase 20 / 45 15  
Jan 16, 2016   #1
Hi everyone. I am currently waiting for some other universitie's replies and I am getting a little anxious. I am imagining what I should do if I am waitlisted or rejected. So I tried to write an argue essay. Don't laugh at me but I just can't sit here and wait all day :P I guess waitlists and rejections are very common so maybe it is a good idea to get prepared. Anyway, thanks for bearing with me and please give me your opinion on the essay below, thanks a lot!

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I would like to restate my profound interest in e-Business. Although I am an accounting major student, I have enrolled in the Management Information Systemclass in my university and I remember clearly what my teacher said about our goals. She said that since we were not students of computer science majors, we would not be experts in programming. But we should utilize our advantage and build the bridge between business and programming. I was deeply impressed by her words and I since developed a strong interest for information and communication technologies. With the continuous data and information explosion happening on a global scale, IT is changing on a daily basis and I need to keep abreast of these developments and improve my ability to do business with the help of internet network.

I find your e-business program, which focuses on the application of information technologies in support of business activities a good fit for my desire career path. Although my long term goal is to be an expert in finance, I do understand how much experience one must accumulate in real work to have a deeper understanding of an industry. From my internship experiences, I can see that information technology is in strong demand in many Chinese firms and I believe it is a good start for me to learn from real work experience as a data analyst in a consulting firm. Therefore, my short term goal is to equip myself with strong expertise of IT and data analysis and begin my career as a data analyst.

I know my weakness compared to other prospective students is that I lack programming skills. But I have taken steps to make up for this weakness and I have started learning Python by reading books and watching videos. Just as I managed to learn Support Vector Machines on MATLAB by myself, I am certain I will make it. Should I be accepted, I would also like to enroll in the course Introduction to Computer Systems over the summer online or even before starting at Carnegie Mellon to strengthen my programming background.

I am deeply attracted to the campus atmosphere of CMU which offers opportunities to engage in the learning of programming and groundbreaking research. I will certainly benefit from the world renowned CS department of CMU by choosing some excellent courses. If I have the chance, I will definitely take Professor Tom Mithchel's class of Machine Learning to further explore SVM and reflect on my previous thesis about the application of SVM on prediction of return on investment.

As a program that focuses on group work, the e-Business program can offer me lots of opportunities to work with young breed of enthusiasts and find supportive peers in my future career. As a business major student with various professional backgrounds including accounting, piano and sport, I have the ability provide insights to projects from various perspectives, while remaining sensitive and cooperative within the team setting.

In conclusion, I have a very strong desire to join the e-Business program and I believe my unique background will add to the creativity of group work study. I am also taking steps to make up for my weakness in programming before beginning my master's education. Please reconsider my chance to be accepted in your program. Thank you.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 16, 2016   #2
Shiyun, I don't know what you are thinking writing an argument essay in the event that you "might" be wait-listed. Please remember that being wait-listed does not mean you will actually be admitted during the current enrollment cycle. Also, you cannot present an appeal essay unless you have been invited to accept a wait-list offer. the universities have specific guidelines as to how you can appeal your being wait-listed. However, you need to first, wait for the offer to be wait-listed. Which means that you at least passed all of the qualifying requirements of the university, you just did not make the student quota for the semester. Then, only after accepting their invitation, can you actually think about appealing the wait list decision.

Now, the main problem with your appeal letter, is that you are arguing your wait-listing instead of appealing it. Since you have not presented any new information for the university to consider as additional information for your removal from the wait-list, you have just wasted not only the reviewer's time, but your time as well. Universities do not consider letters such as yours appropriate since you were already told to just sit tight and wait. See if they can fit you in this semester. Don't do anything. The final move, with regards to your admission is in the hands of the reviewers and there is nothing you can do about it. Unless you have new and compelling reasons that can convince them to admit you. In this case, you aren't presenting anything new or compelling. So don't use this.

Besides, how sure are you that you are going to be wait-listed? Things can go 3 ways for you at this point. So while I know that it might drive you crazy to wait, that is all you can do, wait for the decision. Writing this letter is inappropriate and will not help your case. In the event that you are wait listed, just follow the instructions of the university and don't try to appeal it. That could hurt your chances of admission in the future.
OP bonboncase 20 / 45 15  
Feb 22, 2016   #3
Hi Louisa. I just want to let you know that I was admitted to this program of CMU and I truly thank you for all your help. It turns out this essay never got a chance to be used now~


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