Hi everyone. I know it is almost new year time so let me wish you guys happy new year first :D
I have an essay that will be due in a week so I am looking for grammar check and probably insightful opinions if time permitted. Thanks for your help in advance.
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In 250-500 words please indicate your expected career track (examples include, but are not limited to, consulting, banking, asset management, research and modeling, risk management, etc.) and describe how the Master of Science in Financial Economics will help you attain your career goals. Please be specific.
After finishing my Master's degree, I am looking forward to working as a consultant with an investment management firm, helping customers evaluate their business plans and providing investment advice by doing market research and synthesizing massive amounts of data.
In a competitive job market, the technical skills and analytical expertise gained through the coursework component of a PhD program are increasingly valuable and the MSFE program of Columbia is one of the few programs that can meet with this requirement.
I have learned that the courses for each semester usually consist of three PhD lessons and one MBA lesson. From a current student of MSFE, I learned that as an accounting major student, I can take the Exemption Exam for Accounting and change the course of Accounting into Asset Management. The flexibility of choosing the courses to enroll in can help me enrich myself with the knowledge I need most.
Over the course of my career, I plan on becoming an economist with the aim of improving the Chinese financial system. With limited channels available to raise capital, the Chinese financial system has not found a good way to help SMBs get the capital they need. In China, private lenders get only limited legal protection and face numerous restrictions on commercial lending. Bigger firms, however, have greater ability to raise money from banks, which enlarges the wage gap in China. The net result is that the companies with the highest comparative advantage (the SMBs) are the least likely to get the capital they need to grow, decreasing the competitiveness of China in the world market. Although China has taken steps to solve this problem, there is still a long way to go. Since the MSFE program provides many theoretical and academically strong PhD courses such as Asset Pricing I&II, Corporate Finance Theory, Continuous Time Model and Behavioral Finance, it is perfectly aligned with my specific research interests in the field of financial system and will help me realize my long term career goal to be an economist. I will certainly benefit from the rigorous courses setting.
The well-rounded career programs and the strong networking of Columbia University will guide me towards my desired career. I can not only seek job opportunities on the job posting system of CBS, but also ask the well-connected directors and professors for help to recommend me to job interviews. I would also cherish the great opportunities of attending seminars and speaker-events with some impressive and accomplished trend setters. I would not only be able to develop a strong analytical skillset, but also find supportive peers in my future career.
Thus, taking the above into consideration, the MSFE program becomes my priority choice for furthering my academic and professional career. I believe my diverse background will add to the multiplicity of your program and I genuinely hope to inherit the innovative spirit of Columbia and shape the future of finance.
Shiyun, reconsider the way that you delivered the following statement:
From a current student of MSFE, I learned that as an accounting major student, I can take the Exemption Exam for Accounting and change the course of Accounting into Asset Management. The flexibility of choosing the courses to enroll in can help me enrich myself with the knowledge I need most.
Try to make this seem more like information that you came across normally by instead indicting something like this:
I plan on taking the Exemption Exam for Accounting so that I can eventually redirect my course from Accounting to Asset Management which is more along my professional inclinations. The flexibility...
Also, make sure to indicate a course of action that will cover a specific period of time so that you will be better attuned to the career track expectations. When a person is asked to present his career track, it is like taking a train, you need to have a schedule that you plan on keeping to in order to reach your destination or, in this case, your career goal.
