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"Working as a Team" - MBA admission Essay - describe a situation


kikakaka 1 / 1  
Mar 10, 2011   #1
first of all, thank you for you help.
I would request to want to review the essay.
and please if you have some advise about this essay not only grammar but flow of essay,
please feel free say to me..^^
I appreciate that you kind.

JaeHoon Choi

1. Please describe a situation in which others with whom you were working as a team disagreed with your ideas. How did you deal with this situation? In retrospect, is there anything you would have done differently?

Often people easily define leadership for 'lead in front of people'. Especially East Asian cultures can be found more easily, which are historically great leaders are based on a strong charismatic group. However I think, leadership is defined as having the Group support to motivation, present of the vision and at the same time, have to pay particular attention to the team's thoughts and opinions. Moreover leader must be thought of their own team members carefully think warranted.

I was at university; I charge a project which called 'effective Republic of the Philippines market research'. Team members total consists of 7 people who have the most academic passion. At this time our team had a lot of conflict and disagreement, this is not just its methodology as well as the direction of team activities cause.

We are a Republic of the Philippines market research, product selection, pricing, marketing strategy, distribution channels, sales strategy, macroscopic perspective of the future strategy must be built. Our product is name 'Dak-galbi'-Korean tradition food as Republic of the Philippines got into the market. A group insists VIP Marketing strategy due to the wide gap between the rich and poor and another group insists focus on night market strategy due to poor people accessibility. This conflict as we discuss the more than a week, however the solution is consumed as a surprisingly simple. All of team members in the non-logical part of the team focus more on their phase in the team.

Most people believe that arbitrate to conflict the best way to mediate between the two groups, the most ideal arbitration is to present a point. But mediation points than more important; especially team leader is a conflict that is causing the group to observe carefully that conflict happens cause analysis to find the intrinsic problems.

This is not being limited to one person. Moreover conflict resolution algorithm does not exist. I concrete believe that research is the best way to solve the problems in the team project. I insist that good researcher can analysis the situations as each team member views and then he/she can make best solution to each groups and individual.

Go back to that time, assuming that I'd research all of my team. We didn't wasted time that argument and we can more perfect achievement about that project. As a result, in conflict, there are various numbered cases about solving problems to each team member, in order to prevent serious conflicts, a research of each team member is must precede. In other words, a strong charismatic leader can be handling to conflict well; a good observer can not only prevent conflict but also eliminate sources of conflict.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 12, 2011   #2
Often, people think of leadership simply as the ability to speak in front of people.---Is this a good way to fix that sentence? It did not really make sense, so I tried to interpret it.

This is an interesting discussion! I think you might enjoy "Understanding Leadership" by Prentice.
He defines it this way: Leadership is achieving organizational goals through the direction of human assistants.

I was at university; I At university, I was in charge of a project called "Effective Republic of the Philippines Market Research." Team members consisted of 7 people who had the most academic passion.

At this time our team had a lot of conflict and disagreement, this is not just pertaining to its methodology but also the direction of team activities.

But mediation points than more important; especially team leader is a conflict that is causing the group to observe carefully that conflict happens cause analysis to find the intrinsic problems. This sentence is not grammatically correct, and I don't know how to fix it. Do you have friends who speak excellent Korean and English so that they can help you to express what you mean?

Moreover a conflict resolution algorithm does not exist.----Very clever!! You are impressive. I added a word to this sentence, though. :-)

Practice the corrections I gave you. Practice typing the sentences 10 times each. Speak them aloud, too, so that your brain fully experiences the correct grammar. For example:

In other words, a strong charismatic leader can be handling to conflict well; a good observer can not only prevent conflict but also eliminate sources of conflict.

In other words, a strong charismatic leader can handle conflict well; a good observer can not only prevent conflict but also eliminate sources of conflict.--- The second half of this sentence is very, very good.
OP kikakaka 1 / 1  
Mar 20, 2011   #3
Thank you for your kind advise.

that is very helpful for me.

especially, first sentense is so impressive.

thank you agian and have a nice day!!!^^


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