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I wrote an essay named Tet holiday on my life in Vietnam

letrang2911988 1 / -  
Jan 5, 2017   #1

Tet holiday

Tet holiday is the most important festival of Vietnamese. All people whatever how far they live from their family should gather and reunite with their parent, siblings, relatives and friends. I will tell your about my Tet holiday memory and how I feel about this.

I did not use to like Tet holidays when I was a small child because my family was very poor. There are 6 people in my family and our siblings evenly didn't have new clothes to wear, show off with friends and lucky money too. I was upset and felt inferiority complex when seeing other neighbors' children has new clothes, gift and motorbike to visit and play but neither of my family. It is a very sad memory that I still remember until today.

When I grew up and graduated from the University, I come to Ho Chi Minh that is one of the biggest and the most growth city in Vietnam to work. I started to work hard and earned money to take care of my sister and brother studied in university. After 2 years working in Ho Chi Minh, I got a huge amount of bonus, I came back my family to enjoy Tet holiday, and that was the first happy holiday in my heart. I spent about two third of my bonus to build toilet and buy gifts for my family and visit my relatives and class meeting.

I currently got married and have a little boy. Now my house is built and much has better conditions than in the past. I am very happy and look forward to welcoming Tet holiday that I will not work, just relax and enjoy special meals such as round cake, corned meat with rice cake and many delicious meals made by my mother. I understand how hard I feel when living in a poor family and try to facilitate for my son to better grow, study and entertain.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,150 2304  
Jan 5, 2017   #2
Letrang, while there are numerous problems with the grammar that you used in this essay, I would like to focus first on the content of your essay. You see, not everyone is familiar with the Tet holiday. So, in the first paragraph of your essay, you should have taken time to explain what the Tet holiday is all about to the reader. Is it like the Vietnamese Christmas? I think it is similar to that from what you have related in your essay. So explain about the history and tradition of the festival along those lines. Then, for your thesis statement or statement of topic discussion towards the end of the introduction, tell the reader what you will be discussing about the holiday in your essay. Say you will discuss your family experience and how it has changed over the years because of improvements to your life. That way, the rest of the discussion of the essay will make the reader understand more about you through the meaning of the holiday. If you can edit the content of the essay first, we can fix the grammar during the next round of reviewing your written work. Your essay first needs to make sense to the reader before the language can be fixed.

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