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Zero and one - what can numbers do? Read my personal statement for statistics.


amy424 1 / -  
Aug 3, 2015   #1
What can numbers do? Simple as 0 and 1 in a binary system that MATRIX is built up with; complicated as 1 to 7 in numbered music notion such that great music masterpieces come into birth; magic as 0 to 9 in the world of Mathematics, engaged with Greek symbols and makes it looks like a enigmatic code. For others, numbers might be symbols in their payroll that drive them work harder, for me numbers are the primary that urges me to go further and deeper in this real magic world of Mathematics.

Even as a child I was very sensitive to numbers which drove me to devote my heart to Mathematics. Thanks to my academic strengths, I was admitted to BSc Mathematics and Statistics at the University of Melbourne, one of the most prestigious universities in Australia.

Rather than learning fragmentary knowledge, I see the large picture to grasp the system and sort out the logical order in my mind, later fill in with the detailed information. This helps me study effectively and efficiently, deal with challenging courses easily and have time to read extensively. Aided by the firm command of independent study, I found it not only easy but also exciting to study the various subjects covered by my major. I took a variety of courses ranging from Mathematics to Computing, from Physics to Chemistry.

Having studied Physics my knowledge of the applications of Mathematics has increased virtually. For example, the laws specified by Newtonian Mechanics are noted to govern the everyday world and are difficult not to witness. In Computing, I have found out the logical arm of Mathematics that carry out: Finite State machines, the programming languages themselves. Even Chemistry like my other subjects echoes the characteristics of Mathematics. Through reading Du Sautoy's "Finding Moonshine" I noticed that Chemistry, the study of molecular interaction, utilizes Mathematics in the form of symmetry. Overall, it never ceases to surprise me how Mathematics seems to be everywhere at once, even in places you expect not to find it.

Nevertheless, I have never allowed myself to be a bookworm. For example, I had a large input as a team member in the Physics practical class, where we were assigned experiments in which we had to collect and analyze data in order to derive a theorem. One of our experiments involved the design of a Double-slit experiment, and by carefully considering factors such as which slit length would give the best interference pattern. This was followed by our delivery of one formal and many informal presentations, which after each member received A+ in our result. Besides, I am constantly engaged in a variety of extracurricular activities. I joined PTBIS - Proud To Be International Students, in charge of organizing many student activities. Just to name a few, I took part in the "Fair's Fare - Transport concessions for international students" and was responsible for making the PPTs. Through such involvement in campus and social affairs, I am not only honed my skills in leadership, organization and communication but also acquired a pioneering spirit and the ability to do teamwork.

Fortunately, these achievements help me reap the opportunity of internship as a Data Analyst Assistant at the ------ in March 2015. At this position, I accepted the training of the company, includes the management of statistical information systems. Upon a meticulous analysis of the company's financial statements, reports and other records, I found how statistical analysis influences the operation of real world business. An inaccurate analysis would cause a company suffer great losses. The size of data would grow magnificent in the future, having an excellent statistical analysis skills is essential. This work gave me the basic knowledge and practice use of statistical analysis, and offered me the experiences of solving unexpected problems with my professional knowledge. And what's more important is that this experience aroused my great interest in further education on statistics related subject.

Having been a diver for three years, the importance of dedication is not a new concept for me. During my postgraduate, even though Mathematics can be extraordinarily challenging and at times even impossible, I will give it my utmost dedication. I expect that, besides the knowledge from books, I could also gain a deeper understanding of each department as well mathematical modelling and computation, by communicating with my tutors and experiencing in practical position. Accordingly, I could decide my final career path and choose a specific direction. After graduation, I except that I could work in the investment bank or commercial bank which mainly involves statistical analysis, or data collection.

Without cutting-edge knowledge and hands-on practice, I would never fulfill myself or realize my potential. However, to decide which university to attend is one of the most important decisions in my life. Keeping these in mind, I consider your University as my first choice. The University of(name of the uni), known for high quality teaching and stimulating academic atmosphere, is a place I have long admired. Additionally, your theory and practice oriented (program name) programme parallels my goals perfectly. I believe that such an outstanding faculty and flexible courses in your university would help me acquire an understanding of the key concepts and current issues in both Statistics and analysis.(根据大学课程修改)
ChristineB - / 108 55  
Aug 3, 2015   #2
amy424, I'll help you with parts of your essay.

First of all, numbers up to ten should be spelled out, while numbers over ten (11 and up) are best written in numerical form. Now, let's address some style issues.


___________________________________

Simple as 0 and 1 in a binary system that MATRIX is built up with; complicated as 1 to 7 in numbered music notion such that great music masterpieces come into birth; magic as 0 to 9 in the world of Mathematics, engaged with Greek symbols and and makes it looks like a enigmatic code.

This is a really long sentence. Let me shorten it for you to improve the style:

Number-based processes can be simple (like theSimple as 0 and 1 in a binary system that makes upthat MATRIX is built up with;)or complicated (like the numbers used in music notation systemas 1 to 7 in numbered music notion such that great music masterpieces come into birth;, higher level magic, or ancient Greekas 0 to 9 in the world of Mathematics, engaged with Greek symbols and and makes it looks like a enigmatic code .

______________________________

For others, numbers might be symbols in their payroll that drive them work harder, for me numbers are the primary that urges me to go further and deeper in this real magic world of Mathematics.

This sentence is also too long. Let me shorten it to improve its style:

While many think of numbers predominantly when assessing their paychecks or bank statements, I view numbers asFor others, numbers might be symbols in their payroll that drive them work harder, for me numbers are the primary driver that urges me to go further and deeper in this real magic world ofencourages me to study mathematics.Mathematics.

_____________________________

Even as a child I was very sensitive to numbers which drove me to devote my heart to Mathematics.

You need a comma after "child." I'll reword this to improve its style.

Even as a child, I was very sensitive to numbers which drove me toloved numbers anddevotedevoted my heart to Mathematics.

______________________________

Even Chemistry like my other subjects echoes the characteristics of Mathematics.

Even Chemistry like my other subjectsLike my other subjects, Chemistry echoes the characteristics of Mathematics.

_______________________________

I hope this helps you a little :)
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 15, 2015   #3
Amy424, I agree with ChristineB, some of your sentences are quiet long and normally in this case, your readers will loose their interest on continuing to read. I would also like to help you out on some paragraphs;

-...I see the large picturesaw a larger picture to grasp the system...
- Aided by theWith the aid of firm command ofand independent study,
- I found itthat it's not only easy...
- ...fromand Physics to Chemistry.
- ...to govern the everyday worldlife and are difficult not to witness.
- ... even in places you expect not to find itdon't expect to find. .
- For example,(No need to site this as an example as the sentence speaks for itself) I had a large input as a team member in the Physics practical class,..

- Keeping these in mind and with utmost respect, I consider yourregard (Name ) University as my first choice.ultimate choice.

Amy424, I hope my contribution helps.


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