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Help me rephrase this sentence in an appealing way :)


lisvxx 2 / 3  
Jul 31, 2016   #1
Some one asked me today would you hire someone with hardwork or talent...i answered talent and he was like, for the business "Talent is useless if the person isnt going to hardwork. Hardwork is useless if the person has no talent" I found this statement very amazing and i want to add it to my essay but could someone please rephrase it for me (like make it sound like a nice deep meaningful phrase) in a nice way that will appeal the adcom at an ivy league im applying to? i want it to be before this sentence in my essay:

Combining my hardwork and talent, I aspire to work with.....
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Aug 1, 2016   #2
Hi Lisandra, welcome to EF! :)

We are here to strive our best to help you achieving some meaningful reviews in order to create a well-written essay. I can notice that you have experienced some difficulties in rephrasing some sentences in an appealing way. Actually, it is better for you to try to write the whole essay first rather than to wait for the feedback. Somehow, the response of other members and contributors in this forum is not as quick as you imagine. Therefore, writing a complete draft would be helpful for you in order to receive a quick respond from other members and contributors in EssayForum.

With regards to your question, I would give you some options for paraphrasing those sentences. You can see it in the detailed descriptions below:

Your version > "Talent is useless if the person isnt going to hardwork. Hardwork is useless if the person has no talent"
(but, I actually a little bit confused, perhaps the correct one is "Talent is useless if the person is not going to work hard, but hard-work is useful even though the person has no talent." How about that? However, I am still going to paraphrase your own version in the description below)

- Hard-work without talent is pointless and vice-versa.
- Talent and hard-work is inseparable to reach your goal.
- Working hard is necessary if the person has no talent and having talent doesn't mean that you don't need to work hard.

That's it Lisandra. I hope my feedback would be useful. Do not hesitate to ask if you need further assistance. However, you can post the complete draft in below instead of making a new thread.
rodiwo 2 / 7 2  
Aug 1, 2016   #3
Hard work is the road to success, and talent is the vehicle to get there.
bestjery 2 / 4 1  
Aug 2, 2016   #4
Only hard working with talent can achieve to success, otherwise; there are useless.
OP lisvxx 2 / 3  
Aug 2, 2016   #5
thank you so much for your assistance justivity! i am applying ed to upenn (ivy league) and im currently working on my why upenn essay and they look for applicants who think ourside the box while writing the essay can u let me know how i can think outside the box? what content should i include in my essay that will really distinguish me?


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