Be involved in strengthening community bonds, encouraging volunteerism and philanthropy, engaging youth, developing and promoting sports, heritage and the arts. Experience a range of challenging and interesting portfolios to build a cohesive and resilient society, and deepen the sense of national identity and affinity for its country.
Dear AshlyToo
There are some grammatical mistakes which I have corrected , and if you could provide me with the context you are writing, i might help you in rephrasing the whole thing in a better way :)
Be involved in strengthening community bonds,encourage volunteerism and philanthropy, engage the youth, develop and promote sports, heritage and the arts. Experience a range of challenging and interesting portfolios to build a cohesive and resilient society, and help them in establishing the sense of national identity and affinity for the country.
Hi
Be involved in strengthening community bonds, encouraging volunteerism and philanthropy, engaging youth, developing and promoting sports, heritage and the arts. Experience a range of challenging and interesting portfolios to build a cohesive and resilient society, and deepen the sense of national identity and affinity for its country.
The one in bond is taken from mccy.gov.sg/en/news/press-releases/2015/New_CEO_NYC.aspx
I am trying to state that this organisation is trying to build a sense of belonging for its citizen and I found this on the web so I would like to use it as a evidence to support in my essay but I am not really sure how to paraphrase.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
Thanks
- encouragingencourage volunteerism and philanthropy,
- engaging the youth,
- resilient society,( no need to add a comma if the phrase is followed by the word "and") and deepen
- the sense of national identity and affinity forto its country.
Ashly, this is quiet a long sentence for you to put together, I suggest not only re-phrasing them but also to cut them into 3 sentences instead of 2.
The remarks I made should be able to have you come up with another sentence in order to break them down, it's like a bunch of thoughts and ideas, crunched in a couple of sentences building a rather confusing statement.
I hope my humble remarks helped.
