I really want feedback and grammar errors for futher study
Do you think whether borrowing money from your friend is good or not. Give reasons to support your answer.
In my opinion, it is better to borrow money from your friend. If you think you have to use it immediately for emergencies, you should consider doing that. Borrowing money from your friend can help you live a happy life on campus.
First of all, you do not have money for food and drinks. In the morning, when you go to school but do not have enough money for drink, it is worth asking for it from your friend; otherwise, you are so thirsty. In the afternoon, it is very important to have lunch because you have to maintain ample energy for the evening classroom. Therefore, if you do not have enough money left, borrow it from you friend. By doing it, you make sure you have much energy to study the rest of the day.
Second, you do not have money for the tuition fee. This is the case. When you do not have enough money, you should borrow it from your friends. Otherwise, you are not eligible to study in school. Although you can do it, you are not granted rights to take the final examination.
Third, you do not have money to buy stationery accessories for classroom learning. You cannot go to school without pens and pencils. If you do not have them because you do not have money to pay for them, ask for it from your friends. By doing this, you feel confident that you can do assignments without any problems. You can use pens to fill out a test and other books given by teachers. Moreover, you are not worried to draw a picture because you have rubber to erase it.
In conclusion, the best way to have money quickly for emergencies is from your friend. He is able to fulfill your immediate needs such as you want to eat and drink, pay the tuition fee and gasp for stationery. Therefore, you are sure to get the problems solved promptly
You kind of miss the essential undertone here.
Even if you were unaware of the general truth that money and friends don't mix, you could have asked yourself "hmmmm.. what is a reason why I might not be eager to borrow money from a friend or let a friend borrow money from me?" Whatever you spit out, if it makes logical sense the person grading this can't penalize you for exhibiting ignorance of the popular views.
Alas, I don't know how heavily grammar is weighted compared to critical reasoning, which is a critical component of competency in almost anything you want to do.
I think the essay is fine, you gave lots of examples to illustrate your point.
Based on how the essay is written, it is fine. You provided good example to support your opinion. On the other hand, I don't agree that constantly borrowing money from your friends is a good thing. It's as if your just using that person to solve your financial issues. It's just my opinion.
TOEFL! I remember that test :) I took it in seventh grade for a summer program.
As a test that is trying to gauge your level of competency in the English language, you shouldn't worry about the correctness of the essay or even "undertones" as said by Mustfa.
As EF Kevin and others outlined, focus on making your essay succinct and DEFENDED. Topic sentences as well as commentaries for your facts/CDs are important when trying to convey your opinion.
Have you taken the test yet...?