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BTEC Engineering Essay (My idol my Inspiration)


Dbubble 1 / 3  
Jul 15, 2014   #1
Essay was to provide a short essay on what motivated me to become and engineer and my idol im very new to all this so if someoone could have a read of my essay and help me correct and grammar

or any improvements suggested or word swaps

Many Thanks
Darren

Who is my Idol?

Who is my idol? My inspiration?. Almost everyone has that inspirational person involved in their life, I am no different, I too have that one person who really inspired me to be the best I can and there career choice had a massive effect on what I wanted to do when I came of age. That person is my father, he works for British Telecom as a Fibre Optics Test Engineer and has worked there since he started an apprenticeship at 16, he is now 57 that's a massive 41 years invested in the telecoms industry. He worked his way up form a jointer to the position he now holds. Now he is paid for the knowledge he has retained over the years and to offer support to the workforce.

When it comes to the telecoms industry he is a god, the all mighty, the one person you can go to and ask that question that no one can figure out or explain, that problem that you just cant get your head around and know that you can rely on him for a solution. It is the time and dedication he has given the industry that allows him to take this position within a company and affords him a lot of tea breaks. Now I am not saying my choice of career was based on the volume of tea breaks although they do say the greatest problems are solved over a cup of tea, it was more the respect that can be gained from colleagues and the fact that a lot of hard work and effort put into an industry rewards you. This is something growing up that has been instilled in me that if you work hard, give time and gain experience you can achieve what you dream of and my dream is to be a engineer specializing in offshore power generation, distribution and management

Now my dream, definitely didn't get off to what you would call a perfect start. I went through a rebellious stage in the last 2 years of school and totally destroyed my grades, I had lost that drive, that motivation the gut feeling that pushes you through the hard spots in life and pulls you out the other side. For 2 years I jumped between jobs, I was offered a placement in a carpentry course which I took as I didn't have many other options, I did not finish. I then met my partner and all of a sudden as quick as my drive and ambition had gone it was back, I wanted to progress, work hard, for us as a family so I took on night work, I got a loan so I could put my self through my electrical qualifications, as soon as I started this course I knew this was going to be my profession and have never looked back. I now want to progress even further and be the best I can, as an engineer I want to be good in my job, I want to be that one person people can turn to and get a problem solved. I want to gain respect within the industry.
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Jul 15, 2014   #2
Almost everyone has thatan inspirational person involved in their life. I am no different, I too have that one person who really inspired me to be the best I can,thereas if his career choice had a massive effect on what I wanted to do when I came of age.
OP Dbubble 1 / 3  
Jul 15, 2014   #3
many thanks friend that has really improved the flow of the first sentence it reads lot better
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Jul 15, 2014   #4
When it comes to the telecoms industry he isseems like a god, the all mighty , the one personwhom you can go to when you need immediate solution for your problem .and ask that question that no one can figure out or explain, that problem that you just cant get your head around and know that you can rely on him for a solution.

It is the time and dedication he has given the industry that allows him to take thisa good position withinin thea company and affords him a lot of tea breaks.
OP Dbubble 1 / 3  
Jul 15, 2014   #5
Once again many thanks it flows so much better now a lot easier to read
OP Dbubble 1 / 3  
Jul 15, 2014   #6
Here is my final draft does any one have any more suggestions?

Who is my Idol?

Who is my idol? My inspiration?. Almost everyone has an inspirational person in their life, I am no different, I too have that one person who really inspired me to do the best I can, as if his career choice had a massive effect on what I wanted to do when I came of age. That person is my father, he works for British Telecom as a Fibre Optics Test Engineer and has worked there since he started an apprenticeship at 16, he is now 57 that's a massive 41 years invested in the telecoms industry. He worked his way up from a jointer to the position he now holds. Now he is paid for the knowledge he has retained over the years and to offer support to the workforce.

When it comes to the telecoms industry he seems like a god, the one person whom you can go to when you need an immediate solution for your problem. It is the time and dedication he has given the industry that allows him to take a good position in a company and affords him a lot of tea breaks. Now I am not saying my choice of career was based on the volume of tea breaks although they do say the greatest problems are solved over a cup of tea, it was more the respect that can be gained from colleagues and the fact that a lot of hard work and effort put into an industry rewards you. This is something growing up that has been instilled in me that if you work hard, give time and gain experience you can achieve what you dream of and my dream is to be a engineer specialising in offshore power generation, distribution and management

Now my dream, definitely didn't get off to what you would call a perfect start. I went through a rebellious stage in the last 2 years of school and totally destroyed my grades, I had lost that drive, that motivation the gut feeling that pushes you through the hard spots in life and pulls you out the other side. For 2 years I jumped between jobs, I was offered a placement in a carpentry course which I took as I didn't have many other options, I did not finish. I then met my partner and all of a sudden as quick as my drive and ambition had gone it was back, I wanted to progress, work hard, for us as a family so I took on night work, I got a loan so I could put my self through my electrical qualifications, as soon as I started this course I knew this was going to be my profession and have never looked back. I now want to progress even further and be the best I can, as an engineer I want to be good in my job, I want to be that one person people can turn to and get a problem solved. I want to gain respect within the industry.


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