"Is" or "of?" "That of" - usage

Help!

I am an industrious individual ready to take the next step in / of my fashion career.

Thank you :D

How about 'on the path to' or 'towards'?

in my fashion career sounds better

Use of "that of"

Which of the following sentences is written correctly?

1. My greatest pride is taken in that of the soldiers.
2. My greatest pride is taken in the soldier.

I believe I'm overthinking all of it but need to be sure. Thanks!

My greatest pride is taken in that of the soldiers is gramatically correct. And it's always beter to be safe than sorry. Also, it basically depends on what your essay is about.

One tip for strong writing is to avoid the passive voice. And example of the passive voice is, "Much pride is taken..."
It sounds better sometimes to say, "I take much pride in..." (i.e. this is the active voice.)
Google around about it.

My greatest pride comes from my experience as a soldier. ---This is okay.
The greatest pride of the country is inspired by the actions of the soldiers. ---This is okay.

My greatest pride is taken in the fact that I served my country as a soldier. ----This is okay, but it sounds weird.

We write: "I take pride in... " and it is a common but quirky use of the words "take" and "pride." So you can do this:

I take my greatest pride in my accomplishments as a soldier.

I agree with Kevin, sometimes passive voice makes the sentence complex unnecessarily. Moreover, because "to be" can be used many times in your essay, using passive voice means overuse "to be". Too many "to be" seem to be troublesome and borinng to read.

:D