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I am driven to make significant contributions to the NUS community and the society at large. Appeal.


earlgrey 1 / -  
May 13, 2016   #1
Hi, I have been rejected from NUS Architecture and I'm currently trying to appeal for the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS). It wasn't in any of my course choices previously but I really want to give this a go. I'd really appreciate if you can give me some feedback to improve my appeal letter. The only requirement is the 1000 character limit. Thank you so much!

Appeal Letter to the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences

I am writing to appeal for admission into the FASS. In JC, GP was one subject I always look forward to. My interest in expanding my knowledge about the world grew. I realized that the world is so much more than what is covered on mass media. I began doing my own research outside the classroom, watching documentaries and reading essays about history, culture, environmental and global issues, to satisfy my curiosity and willingness to learn more. Educating myself about these issues has also compelled me to take actions. One of my biggest personal accomplishments is turning vegan for the animals and environment. I wish to fight for causes that matter to me and I feel that NUS FASS will be the best platform to acquire good quality education because of the various enriching opportunities it provides. I am confident that my past grades will not be an obstacle for me to do well in this course because I am driven to make significant contributions to the NUS community and the society at large.
JuanSebastianR 23 / 63 37  
May 13, 2016   #2
Good morning Jessica,

It is such a pleasure to be working with you today.

Your essay is well written. However, I don't think it's a letter that will change the minds of the admission committee. Here is what I learned from your letter:

-You became curious about the world and wanted to learn more.
This is great and shows the person in you.

-You took action by becoming vegan.
Great! Now, are there any other actions that you have taken? Are there any accomplishments that you can talk about in your previous studies? How have you contributed to the community? Why should the school admit you?

-You want to fight for causes that matter to you.
What causes matter to you? Be specific here. A good writer shows, not tells. Don't tell the committee you want to fight for causes that matter to you. Show the committee which causes make you the person you are.

-You are driven to make significant contributions.
Show, don't tell. What significant contributions are you going to make? Why would the NUS community benefit from your attendance there?

There are just a few questions to get you started. Remember that an appeal letter is a long shot, so you want to make sure that the letter is as impressive as it can get. You want to show them who you are, and perhaps include information that was left out in the application process. This is an opportunity to stand out. Answer this questions to yourself: Why should you be selected for admission? Why are you more important than the other ones who were rejected? How are you going to contribute to the NUS community at large? What sorts of contributions will you make? Show us what you got!

Please read the article on the link below, which you can copy and paste on a new window. You can also do your own research on how to write an appeal letter for admission. It will help you draft a stronger letter, and when you upload it here, we can give you grammar, structure, and content feedback.

... gazettes.com/news/education/college-counselor-how-to-appeal-an-admissions-denial/article_4debaa10-9d7b-11e2-8cdf-001a4bcf887a.html ...
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 13, 2016   #3
Hi Jessia, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website credible, useful and effectively important to your writing articles.

We do strive to provide you with the most accurate, comprehensive and objective criticism in order for you to gain confidence and effectiveness at this craft.

Now, I believe this letter is well written. You manage to make your purpose known to the admission staff,then again, your words will need actions, however, upon reading and examining the heart or the idea of the letter, I must say that it is written in a sense that you want to prove your point, of getting better at this craft and in showing the institution that you will definitely strive to be worthy of the second chance.

Moreover, a letter of appeal will only be proven in days to come and there's only one thing that you have to do,practice, practice all the learning you get out this chance to further your education and you will be the best you can be, keep writing.


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