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Brown supplement--best advice


AMehj 3 / 10  
Jan 3, 2010   #1
NEED TO SUBMIT IN 24 HRS. HELP!
What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given, and why? [500 words]

"Learn something of everything," my father said, "and everything of something." If I had a penny for every time I have heard my father say that, I probably could have paid my way through college! For most of my life, I had reacted to this advice like I do to any ambiguous proverb: I contemplated it momentarily, utterly confused, and pushed it to the back of my mind ultimately defeated, and it was never to be rescued from the deep caverns of my subconscious. But I have realized, as of late, the meaning behind my father's wise words and the effect they have had on me.

Subconsciously following my father's advice, I have always strived to expand my breadth of knowledge, to "learn something of everything". At school, I have enrolled for the most number of varied subject courses, while others in my year chose only a few subjects in a specific concentration. I enjoy challenging myself academically to broaden my horizons and quench my thirst for knowledge. This thrill of learning new things has motivated my interest in a liberal education, where I could freely gather some knowledge about every area of my interest before choosing a concentration. As my mind grows more inquisitive and analytical, I may someday be able to learn "everything of something."

Although this piece of advice may at first seem entirely focused on academics, it has extensively influenced me in ways other than my educational aspirations. My father's words have shaped my personality in ways I had not realized before. Upon close inspection, even minor traits such as my taste in music seem diverse and flexible. I appreciate almost all genres of music and could tap my feet to any song. My media library contains a little of everything. However, my daily playlist, which I ritually turn on when I wake up every morning and listen to tirelessly, like a devoted lover, until sleep overcomes me at night, is not so miscellaneous. It contains no hip-hop, no heavy metal, but something mellower-alternative, indie or electronica, perhaps-with a hypnotic rhythm, an exciting beat and meaningful lyrics.

My versatility of spirit is also apparent in my relationships with peers. The group of friends I mingle with consists of distinctly unique individuals and I value different qualities in them. I can tolerate and laugh along with the class clown as he pulls pranks on unsuspecting victims, just as well as I can comfort and stand up for the most sensitive and naïve girl in class. Though I enjoy the company of most people I meet, there are only a few friends whom I hold exceptionally close to my heart and share my most precious experiences with.

Evidently, my father's advice has had an undeniable influence on my life, by defining my choices, tastes and habits that I had taken for granted. This is due to the possibility that I have subconsciously allowed his relentless instructions to penetrate my psyche and discreetly govern my behavior and direct my ambitions. Like the multiplier effect in economics, my father's advice has had rippled effects on my outlook of the world, and thus it is undoubtedly the best advice I have ever received. Perhaps, the hunger for knowledge and the propensity for open-mindedness instilled in me by my father's words are the dominant forces that have driven me to seek an undergraduate education at Brown. At Brown, I can truly experience something of everything and everything of something.

Help me cut down words. ANY suggestions/criticisms/grammar corrections will be much appreciated. THANKS
bardown13 2 / 9  
Jan 3, 2010   #2
Very well done. I noticed a couple of run on sentences though...

"However, my daily playlist, which I ritually turn on when I wake up every morning and listen to tirelessly, like a devoted lover, until sleep overcomes me at night, is not so miscellaneous."

A way to shorten it could be, "However, my daily playlist which I listen to tirelessly like a devoted lover, is not so miscellaneous"

Also, "This is due to the possibility that I have subconsciously allowed his relentless instructions to penetrate my psyche and discreetly govern my behavior and direct my ambitions."

My advice would be to eliminate "and discreetly govern my behavior"

Im gonna post my Brown essay in a few minutes. It says I have to make one more post. Id really like you to proof read it if you please could. Your a good writer.
OP AMehj 3 / 10  
Jan 4, 2010   #3
Thanks! I'll read your essay now.
shreeek 2 / 14  
Jan 4, 2010   #4
nice job! made me laugh and was interesting.

this is all i really saw for attempts to shorten it: Like the multiplier effect in economics, my father's advice has had rippled effects on my outlook of the world;and thus, it is undoubtedly the best advice I have ever received.

if you have time, i'd appreciate it if you were to look over my essay for BU. Thanks in advance.


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