When I think of a person who has impacted my life the most, my grandfather is the first person who steps in my mind. He has made a huge effect in my life, and has reformed my life vividly. He was born in Sudan and was one of ten brothers and sisters. His father was a journalist with a low income. My grandfather worked very hard in school, and worked up to being a pharmacist, graduating from University of Cairo. He was successful in his pharmacy business, and owned three pharmacies, one of which was the top pharmacy. His reputation as a pharmacist was high, known by everyone. At the same time, he was a public figure volunteering in churches and unions. He was a Coptic Orthodox Church council member for eight years, and eventually became a vice president for seven years. Progressively, he ended up being a president for nine years. He was likewise a member of the pharmacist union, and advanced to a vice president for two terms. He was remarkably dynamic in everything, being a committee in two clubs called Coptic Community Club. He was president in one, and vice president in another. An additional commission he joined was a political party called "The Nation's Party". He was much known in Sudan for his liveliness and his generous heart willing to help everyone. When he came to America, he maintained a business for ten years for a gas station and laundry mats. When I look into his life, I realized that he lived his life to his fullest being the highest of the highest. Not only was he successful with his careers, but how he treated everyone. Every time he goes to church, everyone loves him and always wants to talk to him. Whenever there was a funeral, he would go and consult the family, even if he didn't know them. That is how I want to reflect from his life.
How can I expand that, and make it more interesting?
When I think of a person who has impacted my life the most.He has made a huge effect in my life, and has reformed my life it vividly.
Whenever there was a funeral, he would go and consultdo u mean console?? the family, even if he didn't know them. That is how I want to reflect from his life.
IS the prompt to talk about a person who has affected you the most??? Even if it is, i feel as though u talk just way too much about your grandpa's pharmacy business and other commercial successes....you are passive throughout the essay and rarely feature in it at all...i don't mean to sound harsh but i think you should rewrite the whole thing and attempt to include a lot more about yourself in your next draft...the essay as it stands reads as a very short biography of your grandpa....THIS IS NOT WHAT THE ADCOMS WANT....
PLEASE LOOK OVER MY COMMONAPP ESSAY...
