Essay: In an essay of 300 words or less, explain your motivation to transfer from your current/previous institution and how your academic interests and/or professional goals will be fulfilled in your intended program of study.
There are many reasons behind my decision to apply to UIUC, both academic and non academic. But first, I must mention that I greatly enjoyed my time at Oakton Community College, as the great professors, and the comfortable environment formed me into the man I am now of self worth, and someone who appreciates ones around me in my community. My first semester at Oakton, my grades were not nearly as I wanted them to be. With a disgraceful 1.85 GPA, my mind was not in my studies. I use family support, and a strong desire to succeed as motivation for my everyday life, to always move forward with no complaints no matter what life throws at me. I now possess a ____ GPA, with back to back semesters of hard work, I spent late nights growing as a student, and as a person. More than ever, I feel such a strong desire to succeed academically, and this desire leads to my decision to pursue an education further, in hopes of ultimately becoming a Physician Assistant. UIUC is the most important among schools I am applying to, and it is clear that UIUC has numerous advantages over many other schools in my field of study. Numerous visits to UIUC allowed me to interact with like-minded, and ambitious people like myself. With its welcoming atmosphere and admirable academic facilities, UIUC had completely won me over. The wide variety of the undergraduate curriculum, and classes that are taught by world-renown scholars for the biology program reassures me that there is no other university better than UIUC for me. The molecular and cellular biology program perfectly matches my academic and professional goals of deepening my knowledge of the world of biology, and eventually go down to graduate school to become a physician assistant.
and the comfortable environment trans formed me into the man, I am now of self worth and someone who appreciates the ones around me him in my his community.
I used family support, and a strong desire to succeed as motivation for my everyday life,so as to always move forward with no complaints no matter what life throws at me.
and this desire leadshas lead to my decision to pursue an education further, in hopes of ultimately becoming a Physician Assistant.
Numerous visits to UIUC allowed me to interact with like-minded, and ambitious people like myself .
Thanks for the revisions Ankita. I am thinking that my essay is a little bit too technical, and i should express a little bit of more personality in the paper. Do you think i should change some things? I tried to get straight forward with just answering what they are asking, but i am feeling like i am losing my "voice" in this paper. Do you agree? Or do you think it is fine as it is?
